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music today: Rock opera about Sept 11: Athena under Attack, by Athena Reich... it is good I tell ya.

Book: Life of Pi by Yann Martel. Pi meets Jesus, and then Islam today.

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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2003-08-25 - 1:58 p.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

ob bombed in Baghdad

Another day.

It feels like the summer has ended. Where did it go? I remember dreams of a summer with ob. Exploring San Francisco, hot sex in the woods, in back alleys, at the Power Exchange. Gardening. Learning to ride a motorcycle. Camping.

SF plans cancelled and shot to hell. Relationship with ob was on hold. Hot muggy weather in Montreal. Very little sun, rain everyday, no suntanning, no fresh evenings.Time in Michigan a fiasco of disappointment and betrayal. Breakup with ob.

Now it is grey and cooler. Feeling like fall.

Last night I dreamt that ob was dead. Heard of an explosion in Baghdad. Why was ob in Baghdad? She was with a male friend is all I know. I was writing emails to her, and then found out that she had died the day before in a bomb explosion. Writing to a dead person. No body. No last words.

This reminds me of the newspaper on Saturday. Young man ran off the road in Montreal while talking to a friend on his cellphone: "Hey! What's that?!!" were his last words. When the friend redialed the phone # minutes later, a city employee picked up and said bluntly "your friend is dead." Wrapped around a pole. The wierd part is his mother refused to believe it, and kept saying "he's still alive, he's out there." and kept calling his answering machine and leaving messages. Messages for a dead man.

My recommend for the tenacity of the presence of the newly dead: the movie "Gasoline" ... an Italian dyke action movie currently at the repertory cinemas.

Well, must work now. Back later. Mind still oozing ob like pus from an infected wound. More lancing of it later.

3:23 am... deciding to shut down the drawing table, even though I have 5 drawings left to go. I'll attempt to have them done by 2pm, which is still theoretically within my Aug 26th deadline.

Once again, hard time focussing. Ended up calling Pamela in Interlochen. She's dealing with her house having burnt down. Her computer is smoke and waterdamaged, and sitting stinking up her car until she can get it to a repair place to see if they can save anything from her hard drive. No email or internet until. I think of her everyday when I hear about the houses burning down in Kelowna BC. I can imagine the smell... it used to be the smell of Montreal for me, since when I first arrived here in 1982 arson was rampant.

Procrastinating again by working on my website. I started a deities page. I am inspired not only by my ex ob, but also by The Life of Pi, which I am reading now. Pi the Hindu meets Jesus and Islam and falls in love with all three. Fascinating. I also got new photos from A that he took of my performance at the Funhouse on Friday nite, so put them up too. Playing with backgrounds, thumbnails, fonts. Having fun. But I get the typical web posture and cramps that ONLY come from too long on the computer. I can consider myself lucky that all went well so I dont have computer migraine as well.

Tomorrow if I hurry up and finish my work for deadline, I want to ride by the knife store to see if it is still there. Serious about buying a straight razor and learning to use it. Pretty pretty pretty. I will do that on my way to Venez Tels Quels... I would like to make their acquaintance and see if there is any way I can plug my skills into their sex shop/ educational workshops etc.

I would also like to find two new plaster Marys. I wish they weren't so heavy. Maybe they can sell me some poly resin ones?? The Mary's must be resurrected so that they can travel once again. Ob's Marys have gone home with her... done travelling a la Amelie Poulin.

I thought I was done with the Travelling Marys but I feel I am not. They must continue to travel, esp to Cuba. And to the Funhouse etc etc. Maybe to the leatherboy bar? It is amazing to see differing reactions to the Marys. So very sorry that they didnt get to have a wild time with me and ob at Musicfest as planned. At least they saw Toronto in the Blackout, and have photos to prove it! Funny.

Well, must go to bed now. A full day. The house is deterioratiing around me... dog hair, dust, paperwork. And the yard is overgrown and neglected... leggy tomato plants dangling, grass matted together. Havent even looked at my garden and I have been home a week tomorrow. No motivation. Zucchini in the fridge, and english cuke uneaten. And I eat out. I need the space for now.

Well, goodnight my diary. Sleep in peace, and I shall return in the hayhem.

Wench77

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009

 

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