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Music today:dreams of flamenco to come, STOMP STOMP!!!

Book:how could you do this to ME?: learning to trust after betrayal

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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2003-09-05 - 1:18 a.m.

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Flamenco and Murder

My god. I WILL NOT mention the time... haha! too late!

Tonight I have been playing with my new toy, a solingen straight razor. I supposedly should practice on balloons, but I practiced on my legs and arm and face instead, and only nicked slightly one ankle when I was getting too blasť and overconfident (and talking on the phone to boot!) Here is a photo of my newSolingen Dorko. Funny name huh! For us dorks! Maybe I'll put a little photo here too for those of you too lazy to click on a link!

Other things today... a quick rundown: took more graffiti photos, and ended up meeting a woman who teaches at the highschool who knows some of the graffiti artists... she gave me her name in case I want to contact any of them. It would be interesting to write an article about adolescent graffiti artists, and their aspirations. And contrast that with artists like Zilon, who started out as graffiti artists and who are now in their 40's and established.

I also bought two new books: Anyway:the Paradoxical Commandments: finding personal meaning in a crazy world by Kent M. Keith. This looks great, and I will report on it as I read it.

The other book I discovered online last night when I was researching "betrayal" and it also looks great in a self-help sort of way. It is called how could you do this to ME?: Learning to Trust after Betrayal by Dr. Jane Greer, with Margery D. Rosen. Again, I shall report back as I read it. Seems very commonsense though, which is why I sought it out and bought it.

Finally, I DID end up laying out the big bucks ($220 for 10 lessons) for Flamenco classes, which started tonight. The teacher only gave us Flamenco background tonight... she is obviously enamoured of both the dance and of Spain. I think Flamenco may be THE right thing for me right now. She says flamenco is not about trained dancers (though she has taught at Les Grands Ballets Canadiens) but rather about EMOTION. She says Flamenco is Passion, Love, Betrayal, and even... Murder!!! LOL! She actually has choreographed for the ballet Carmen, which of course is about all of those things. I shall attempt to stop at the Betrayal part, and then Dance instead of Commit Murder!!! One must always remember that murder is not vengence, or rather it is the other having the final vengence. Because they are dead, and thus regretting nothing and feeling no pain, and you as the murderer are now a criminal and you have just fucked your own life over supremely. Hahaha the dead person must say from the grave!!! I have fucked you over so much that you lost control and now have fucked yourself over!!! Heeheehee!! And that is the answer to why so many murders, esp murders of passion, are murder-suicides. I think once you kill, you realize suddenly that the dead person is in the enviable position, not you, and the only way to rectify the envy is to join them.

Yes, to dance the flamenco passionately with all the pain and passion and love is a better thing than murder. Unless of course you are a screenwriter or a choreographer. Shakespear loved murder. And dancing BEFORE the murder suicide makes for a pretty good show too.

Well, that is all for now. I shall eat some chocolate and drink some coffee (goes better with chocolate than tea does) and do the two drawings I was supposed to do three days ago. Single drawings tend to lag behind.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009

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