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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
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Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
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Thursday, Oct. 16, 2003 - 6:59 p.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Meanness and Photographic Ineptitude

"(being mean isn't unique- it's just as cliched as being a pushover)."

This very astute observation is courtesy of Meeyapede, and was found on her rules to be reviewed (not you, silly... your online diary!).

Hmmm, yes, hmmm. Interestingly, those two things seem to be (at least observably) the attributes of every boring Dom/sub relationship I have seen. The top is mean, and the bottom is a pushover. Not to be confused with interesting, exciting, inspiring Dom/sub relationships where there is character, intelligence, integrity and respect on both sides. Just a thought. Anyone have a thought on this? Leave me a note. thanx.

Small AAAAAAGH while I waste time before going to my flamenco class (which is still darn fun let me tell you. Dress up in black and look spiffy, with great posture, attitude, fans and footstomping. yeehah! (though that is a line-dancing exclamation, not a flamenco one)....

I picked up the first roll of photos today of the hookah smoking... and they printed 13 out of 27 photos... WHY? because some dimwit in the lab cannot tell the difference between "photographer is inept and wasted a shot" and "photographer took a great photo of curling smoke". I can tell, cuz with the 13 photos came the printed index, and I can clearly see every photo they did not print was a photo of hookah smoke. Dumb stupid asses (did I mention yesterday on my "will go to hell" rant, that I have little patience for stupidity and tend to verbal abuse towards inept idiots who can't help they were born that way?)... So, when i took the photos back (and asked that they phone the lab, since the two rolls I took in yesterday are EXCLUSIVELY photos of hookah smoke... and I WANT them printed!!), they confiscated the whole package to return them. So I have NO photos to share... not of grafitti or dirty laundry, nor of hookah smoke. And said reprints will probably only arrive in another week.

I shall now sign off with another AAAAAAAAAGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHH!!!

Later....12:38am...how does this happen... i swear it was 11pm eating and surfing... just to make me feel better I will answer The Friday Fivetoday for the first time even tho it is a bit lame:

Oct 17, 2003
1. Name five things in your refrigerator.
a bag of raw sunflower seeds shelled, a jar of pickled herring with only 3 pieces left in it, a zucchini from my garden slowly being sucked dry, polaroid film, pure almond oil for massaging.

2. Name five things in your freezer.homemade quiche, homemade vegetarian borscht, stewed tomatoes from my garden LAST FALL, 1/2 loaf of homemade brown bread from when ob visited in Feb, organic parmesan cheese

3. Name five things under your kitchen sink.a wok I use only to make popcorn in, 2 red rubber hot water bottles for cold weather, olive oil, three empty containers to refill with organic lavender laundrysoap, a broken salad spinner

4. Name five things around your computer.My god, where to start!!! an exterior thermometer, a dirty coffee cup with tea stains, a zillion sticky notes with notes written on them, a tiny silver Gideon New Testament to check if the quotes on the LegoTestament are actually in there (they are!!), a Wacom tablet I never use that cost a fortune.

5. Name five things in your medicine cabinet.a box with only one bandaid left in it, old tube of antifungal creme, half a container of DippityDo hair gel to make soft-pack dick out of, Dr. George's Dental White whitening stuff, ob tampons.

There, was that fun and enlightening for everyone? Apparently they have a five question survey every week, but this is my first.

Hmm, when I filled that out, now that it is past midnight, it says Oct. 17. Well, that is my brother's birthday. He would have been 38 today. That means nearly 14 years since he died. Mindboggling. He has been dead more than half as long as he was alive. I will maybe work a wee bit more on his webpages tonight. Happy birthday, Shawn Otto, wherever you are. Funny, I actually do not believe one iota in an afterlife. No faith. It is possible. Like it is possible that all the plants are communicating to each other by telepathy. But I think that like trees and everything else, we degrade into matter, which is sucked up into other matter, washed away into our components like water, carbon, various minerals, and soon we are part of the bug that drinks the water, the plant roots that grow out of the ground we decompose in and all.

In a sense that makes reincarnation just a fact. Re-incarnation. In the flesh again. Yes. eventually every molecule and atom of ourselves will be sucked up and become part of another living creature. Or we will be compressed into oil or rock or somesuch. So that Hindu thing of being a bird or a rock or a tree in our next life is true. But not in the way they mean. We will decompose and thus be part of a gazillion different beings and things as our bodies split up and diffuse through the universe. In a sense that means that the world around us is our ancestors. And we should remember that and honor that. The bird breathes the air that was once H2O in your greatgrandmother's blood. The salt on your food may have once been on the brow of King Tut.

We live in a closed system, constantly recycling. Conservation of mass, and mass is energy and energy is mass. Do you think anyone even thinks about that? That is why atom bombs and such work. Einstein's theories. No, somehow everyone seems to think that the energy in each person flies off to another dimension or somesuch. How incredibly depeting. And how about resurrection? Now that is a funny one. Hey, in order for all those Christian bodies to be resurrected, the world would have nothing above bedrock left. All that mass suddenly flying up. Because of course as people die and their bodies decompose, they BECOME the earth, which becomes the trees and earthworms and those feed the higher life forms etc. So in order for all those souls to reincarnate and resurrect in the flesh, the actual physical mass would have to be reclaimed from the world... zoop! carbon and nitrogen, potassium and hydrogen, oxygen and iron, sucked out of every living thing to make those bodies again. I imagine all the fields and bugs and living sinners decomposing like they'd been dissolved in acid, as the righteous of the past were resurrected. Too funny.

People who come up with religious ideas like this either have no scientific sense, or else just were never farmers. Every farmer knows that compost decomposes to become next year's crop. And every crop you eat becomes shit, which becomes compost. If veggies resurrected, what would you grow new veggies from?

Well, for your amusement and a starting point on the philosophical ruminations on recycling and compost, here is what my studio floor looks like now:... imagine the recycling of creative ideas that can grow up from all that scattered paperwork, photodocumentation and used tea bags!!!

Now, cuz it is still sort of early (4am) and I have decided I am not working tonight: having drawn 55 Ripley's entries in 2 nights, and having finished the Math Makes Sense illos ahead of deadline (click on small image to see larger size), I am NOT going to get back into the BEAR book until tomorrow. I am going to do another entry about the riots here a couple nights ago. Yes, a riot in Montreal. Stupidity to beat stupidity.

Here is my horoscope for Thursday, October 16:
Be flexible in your commitments. You're in the right place, but you could be here too early or too late. Something that used to be immediate must now wait another few days.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009

 

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