Monday, Feb. 14, 2005 - 8:46 p.m.
Cost of the War in Iraq
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Lay off the Hearts
Funny Tom Tomorrow comic of the day: Conservatroid Cookbook.
A couple things I have had enough of.
Smileys. They were barely cute in the sixties when I was ten. They ONLY smiled. They were ONLY yellow. They were best on patches sewn onto knees of jeans. That was enough.
Yesterday I typed (18) as a suggested age of a person in someone's haloscan comments. The stupid gdamn system turned the eight 8 and the end parenthesis ) into a smiley with sunglasses. So it read (1 smiley with sunglasses. How fuckin helpful to reading my message was that??
Red and pink hearts. If they are made of candy and edible, and esp if they are on clearance sale, they are fine. Other than that... Hallmark has overdone it. If you are in love you can scribble some handmade on a card today. Or if you are a kid and make a handmade card for your mom.
If you are a painter showing in a galerie and you want to talk about the human condition, and how your heart has been broken, how you need to heal it, how you must have a heart, and take heart and you are heartless or heartened, leave the fuckin red and pink hearts at home.
Or go and sit in a pharmacy card section today, or next to the candy selection (don't worry, it'll be replaced with easter chickies soon), or windowshop for a couple hours, and get your overdose of pink and red "heart" shapes... but don't spend months painting forty paintings of hearts and impose it upon us.
Yes I went to the coffeeshop today. And there was an art opening. The wonderful color photos of the city lights at night in winter was gone, and replaced by garish simplistic paintings of hearts. Who the hell decided hearts were shaped like that I have no idea. The actual human heart is much more complicated, interesting, aesthetically challenging. And not pink and red.
Huge red and pink heart on a yellow orange background. $1035, if you can believe it. The one over my head was called "Chambre #863" or something like that. about 16 by 20 inches... $435. A steal. What was it?? a PENIS with one red pink heart for its head, and another larger for its balls. When was the last time I saw something like that? Grade 11 art class when the boys are supposed to use cutout red paper hearts to make a form. oooo deep. Two hearts beside eachother? "soul mates". A heart appearing from the bottom of the frame? "rising heart". A bunch of overlapping heart outlines with some stick shapes and scratches? "meli melo" (which is french for "party mix"... how DEEP to see red heart shapes as pretzels!!"). A bunch of red hearts with green wavy lines around them? "coeurs en fete" (party hearts).
I could deal if it was only today for valentines day. Overkill but what the hell, its almost fun for one day. But I swear it will be there for two weeks.
And there was this gaggle of prissy young women acting all "ooo we are artsy!!" running around. Red and pink tops. Sitting at tables and touching up their mascara. Couples were walking by... I asked what they thought.
"oooooh I LOVE IT!!".
I can see they might pay $575 for a pink heart on a green background to put over their pink plastic blowup footstool next to the supersized flat screen tv in their livingroom.
Dang I am in the wrong business.
I need to get pretentious about kitsch. Why am I attempting to deal with anatomy and shapes, depth and perspective, color and transparencies, shadow and light? I could be making flat heart shapes on flat backgrounds and selling it for the big bucks.
Hell, I MIGHT even go insane and make a heart BLUE instead of red or pink!! no no that is tooooo off the wall.
Lay off the smileys.
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Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
*inspired by Chaosdaily