Saturday, Dec. 04, 2004 - 1:15 a.m.
Cost of the War in Iraq
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Life's About Partners And Kids
"Life's about friendships, the way you love your partner, the way you care for your children. That is what life is about. Not anything about earning a hundred zillion dollars because you toured America more than anyone else. I want life to be about creativity."
I got that over at Connie-cobb's place.
Hmm, yes, another of those "life is the time spent with your family, your loved ones" quotes.
It is always so funny how when I express desire to have a family, to be in a couple, to have kids... you know, a family... that people get all downplaying it. "oh, relationships you're better off without" and "life is just as good without a family" or "are you so needy you need kids to make your life worthwhile?" or "you should be thankful you aren't strapped down by kids and a partner".
Now how is it that these things are the most important things until I want them? And then it is a sign of pathological neediness and dependence?? Weird.
Let's just say that it is really hard for your life to be about your friendships when your friends are busy with THEIR partners and kids and families. THEN I feel pathologically needy and pitiful, when they are all busy tucking kids in, buying plane tickets to visit their inlaws with their wives, planning holidays with the extended family, having a romantic video night at home cuz the kids are at the grandma's, can't go for coffee after the meeting cuz they have to pick the kids up at daycare. Uhhuh.
And then of course I get busy with my own projects to fill in the dead time.
And people say "oh you're too busy to have time for someone" "you're involved in so many things you don't have time to meet somebody".
Well, what the hell am I supposed to do. Waiting and hoping and keeping time free that isn't used is desperate and sad. Filling up the time with personal projects is selfish and counterproductive if I want a relationship.
Now we know why women used to go to finishing school or teach grade one, so that they were "doing something" but not something so important that they couldn't drop it like a hotcake if the chance for partner and family came along. None of that career track stuff... then when you get asked on a date you are like "oh, sorry, I have to study for my phd" or "gee, I'd love to but I have to work tonight to pay my mortgage".
How do you win this one.
Hey, I actually had an erotic dream two nights ago... the night I slept ten hours. What is up with that? Ms. Has No Desire, Couldn't Give a Fuck, A Date What is That, Sex Life Is That Something On the Nature Channel. Haha.
Well, end of this entry.
Has everyone looked at the dog sketches and the watercolor pics? I guess if I didn't feel so sleepy I could work on one of them projects. I'll think about it. Maybe I'll work on my hedonism and have a grilled cheese when it isn't even bedtime. Oh the gluttony!!
Here is my horoscope for Friday, December 3:
Mwahahahahaha! Too funny. I did eat the leftover tuna souffle though.
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Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
*inspired by Chaosdaily