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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Sunday, Nov. 16, 2003 - 7:28 p.m.

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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

As long as I'm treated respectfully

Wench77 and Dediteur at book launch last week, copyright 2003, Wench77
Deep sigh.

Just reading some survey results. Now I think that some people either have really really low IQs and therefore cannot read questions. Or I think that people test really low on IQ tests because they cannot be bothered reading the questions.

An answer to "do you consider yourself normal or not normal?" is not "no". Unless perhaps they mean they do not consider themselves at all.

And how can someone answer "feel about what??" if it says "how do you feel about this?" in the question following the above question. Though perhaps it just confirms the guess that they do not consider themselves at all. Although if you don't consider yourself at all, I guess you would have no clue what someone was talking about when they asked "how do you feel about considering yourself normal or not normal". aagh.

Wench77 and Dediteur again, at book launch, copyright 2003, Wench77
Why is it that people who write horrid ridiculous religious statements on sites (don't click here if you aren't over 18) like the religious effigy dildo site, and who cannot answer questions in a way that indicates they are even present in the room, do so in a manner indicating they have no grasp of the English language?? It is very hard to respect the religion of someone who tells you that "you are dammed to hell, and gdo knows that your a filthey asshowl".

Sigh. and deep sigh. That said, once again someone who was intelligent and well-spoken filled out one of my surveys and had no forwarding address (no diary, no profile) so I cannot luxuriate in some intelligent and well-spoken entries, nor point any of you to said respondent's writings. sigh again.

That is not what I was going to write. I was going to put in my horoscope for today, at the start instead of at the end:

Here is my horoscope for Sunday, November 16:

Change the setup so that the benefits flow your way. Let others wait for their turn just as you waited for yours. As long as you're treated respectfully, there's not an unkind bone in your body.

Please note that last sentence... and specifically, the subordinate phrase beginning it. I shall repeat it... As long as you're treated respectfully, there's not an unkind bone in your body.

Yes, isnt that just so interesting. My therapist pointed that out the other day. She said, yes, Wench (no she doesnt call me wench!!), I can see that you were snarky and verbally biting and all which you say you were, but it seems to me you only do that when you are threatened, and someone is already attacking you.

Hmmm. I said. Hmmm. Gee, that is true! One of the reasons I always feel so defensive after I've let loose with my tongue. I always say "but they said... but they did..." which is totally true. Of course for some reason I think I should be a saint, and manage to be above it all, and exhibit restraint, dignity and unwavering diplomacy and courage in the face of stupidity, being taken for granted, being emotionally abused, etc etc. And my personality does not allow me to succeed in this personal expectation of mine. Drat and little fishes. Oh well. I guess I should just drop the 1) worrying that I am being an asshole and 2) the defending of my defence and 3) apologetic backpeddling. And just stick by myself. Ob always said "don't say you're sorry. You're right." mmm.

I am not unkind because I am greedy, nor plotting nor devious. I dont enjoy hurting people or things. I am not stingy nor ungenerous with my time, knowledge, belongings or love.....I am usually only stingingly judgemental in the face of disrespect.

Well, now I'm going to write of some good things and some annoying things this past little while:
Door off its hinges, copyright 2003 Wench77
Annoying:

  • My hallway door to the basement has been off the hinges for a month now. It stuck a wee bit, and my father took it off the morning he flew off on a plane, and scraped a bit off the sides. It may or may not stick now, IFF I can somehow get it back on its hinges. It weighs over 50 pounds. I have to look at the bad basement wallpaper, and cannot close the door.

  • I may not be paid for another two months for most of the US work I did. I am broke.

  • Montreal has lost the 2006 Gay Games over beaucratic infighting. It is very sad.

  • The bus company has changed how its phone system works: every busstop has had a number on it for years that you can call to find out when the next three buses will go by. They have changed the numbers but not posted them on the stops. The last two times I called, I got stuck in voice activated hell and missed my buses, costing me a $12 taxi the first time, and 40 minutes walk in the cold the second.

  • I didnt get any work done this week, because although I have texts for three new books, I have no contracts negotiated, and this week no editors were available because of the Salon du livre de Montreal
    cat puke on boxes and books, copyright 2003 Wench77
  • When I went to get a copy of my book of comics for Sue yesterday, I discovered that a cat had climbed into the very back of the closet and puked all over the box. at least 6 books will have to be chucked. Thankgod the puke was dry.

  • More of my readers are interested in what molecule they are than my three webpages on my infertility and bad pictures of me as a kid and teenager. sigh.

  • All the rest of my red and green peppers from my garden spontaneously turned into foul smelling soup on the floor in one day. urk.

  • My favorite boots that I wear whenever I want to feel punky and dainty at once (vs my shitstomper clodkicker boots) cracked under the balls of the feet

  • The pumpkin I bought is starting to rot underneath, so now that the Swisschard Saga is over, the pumpkin saga must soon begin OR ELSE

  • The tattoo artist, Fish, will probably be in Australia when I am in San Francisco in February, and so will not be able to do a tattoo on my head when I am there. And here I was so excited to be able to do that when I was there for APE. glll.

  • I'm sure there is more, but I cannot remember now cuz I didn't write when I was bummed, and now I'm less bummed.

Good things:

  • I'm less bummed

  • Jennifer Camper just wrote me an email to ask to publish a comic I did for her in her new Juicy Mother book

  • My mentor, illustrator Francis Back, gave me a beautiful signed copy of a book he did for the Canadian Museum of Civilization called "Adventurers in the New World: The Saga of the Coureurs de Bois". Inside he wrote that I am "une illustratrice de GRAND talent". Grin!!!

  • I got to meet Sue Marsden, the cartoonist, and she liked to smoke the hookah with me.

  • I bought an excellent beautiful book called "les Champignons" illustrated by Beatrix Potter, for only $4.99. It is scientific watercolors of different mushrooms.

  • I made five pints of mushroom barley soup last night

  • I am sure there are more good things too, but my brain is blank right now. I'm sure that is enough for one entry.

Now I must go and draw a two page cartoon of my femme confronts leatherbardoorman story for Boy Trouble zine. Ciao.

if you're reading now, don't go away, or rather, go away and come back. I'm going to save this, and then add in some more links. right back. chow. oh. ciao.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009

 

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