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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Tuesday, Dec. 23, 2003 - 4:56 p.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Think about something else for once

i just want to kill people.

i am doing flamenco in the park so i don't forget it over the holidays.

i am reading a novel

i am doing comics for someone's zine and looking forward to going to SF

i am doing comics for a new book.

i am working on questions to propose to other infertile single women to bring with me to SF to eventually write a book.

i am taking care of two cats and a dog and just bought christmas presents for them

i made christmas cards and sent out and gave to like 100 people, including email jpeg form and corresponded with all that replied.

i sent out presents to my family.

I ask after everyone's Christmas plans when i talk to them and bump into them and wish them well... I have already lent out a pair of snowshoes today for a couple to go to the cottage, and heard another three people's plans in detail for the next week. And these are just people in shops I frequent, not even friends. Without bringing up how I feel, how i'm doing or what i'm doing... just saying how glad I am they're going to spend three days with friends, family and their nieces and godchildren.

i have taken care of my plants bugs for three weeks now, and cleaned the livingroom, bought a christmas tree, invited a couple of friends for dinner on the 26th.

Then I bump into someone and he asks me how I'm doing and what i'm doing, and when i say i want to spend Christmas day alone reading a novel and eating, and that I am sad, i get "don't be so down, love is not everything, think about something else... there is more to life than love you know, you should come to this party and talk to other people, hear about what they're up to for once."

Stupid goddamn fucks. Yeah, all I do in my goddamn fucking life is think about my love life and mope. Goddamn them all anyways. Just let me have a quiet day without being happy for everyfucking everybody else.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009

 

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