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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Monday, Dec. 08, 2003 - 3:25 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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Scale Insects Squish my World

I'm having a little sad lonely moment. I think it is because I am overwhelmed by the bugs on my plants. I have only scrubbed down two big ones and one small one. There are two more HUGE, ie about 8 feet tall with a gazillionbazillion branches and about a thousand times that many leaves. I was happy to at least finish three, and then when I threw out my water with Murphy's Oil Soap in it, I noticed a couple leaves not washed, So I washed them. And then threw out the water. And then noticed some more I missed. And then one bug on a washed leaf and then another. And then when I took those off, I found a little new sprig growing out of the trunk of one plant, and it had honeydew on it, I took hold of its little stem to wipe off the leaves with a sponge. And then noticed that it didnt have a brown stem. It had a little was-green stem, 100% completely covered with brown scale insects. I pulled the whole thing off the plant.

I am starting to get abusive towards my plants out of desperation.

I want to cry. The bugs keep coming back. I have been fighting them for about 18 months now. I really want a lovey to give me a hug and say, its ok baby, come here and cuddle in bed and we'll watch those silly dog movies. You been working today for 13 hours now. Relax and I'll make ya feel real good. Yeah.

Stupid fuckin bugs.

Make me cry. dumb very dumb.

The only good thing is that Murphy's oil soap, while it kills bugs naturally, is great for wood floors. So after the floor is full of soapy water, and I wipe it up, it is a newly washed spic and span floor. I guess that's the good thing.

I'll try not to think about the entire room in the front covered with sticky honeydew on the floor, the buggy plants, the boxes of books and all the furniture.

Sigh. I want someone to call me and say "hi baby, can you give me a goodnight tuckin?" I am sad and lonely and too many bugs.

Go back and read the better entries from tonight and this weekend. yeah. thanks.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009

 

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