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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Tuesday, Aug. 17, 2004 - 4:26 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Gritty Grimy Matching Femme Dresses

Yo! Finally some more photos!

This is me with my friend Seite, where I stayed when I was at my family reunion. Despite being dead tired on Friday night (both she and I hadn't had more than a couple hours sleep for two or three days), she insisted that we dress up in matching dresses (stretchy crushed velvet) and go out on the town with her new butch flame, let's call her Butch Flame.

Butch Flame took these photos... she herself was dressed in leather jeans and leather vest, all butchy like. AND stubbornly wore no jacket despite being in only the sleeveless vest, despite it being like 7C outside (that is chilly folks).. nutjob, them butches.

So here is the first pic, me and Seite looking drastically femme, all pretty posing together. There was another shot with Seite behind me, but she managed to put her hand under my belly so I look about 4 months pregnant. Which wouldn't be bad, if I WAS four months pregnant. So, here ya get femmey.

And here we are being all sexy hehe. Now this was a sort of annoying thing... Butch Flame was being all sexy towards Seite... all good. AND being all suggestive towards me... and Seite is going "oh I don't mind" while smiling slyly and batting her eyes. "We dont have a Capital R "relationship" she says. Groan. Seite really does get into soap operas, and I have managed to be only on the tv viewers vs the actors end for the past 12 years, and plan to stay there. It was quite annoying, the Butch Flame thing.
I get rather verbally sparring when someone is in my space, and we had a little blow up with Butch Flame yelling Fuck You Fuck You, and she stormed out and took a taxi home (this was the night previous to the twin dresses)... and the next morning I was like, not only were you in my space, you totally yelled at me. Stop with the comeons.

I would think that was clear. But no, this night of the twin dresses, Butch Flame has to run her fingers up my wrist when she brings me a beer, wants to grind on the dance floor, bitches when I grind with some other unknown girl for about a second and a half . Quote "so, you'll grind with some stranger and you won't grind with me whom you've known for a day and a half. grumble grumble"... what is WITH these butches... she has ONE gorgeous girl who wants her, but she's gotta bitch when the gorgeous girl's friend isn't going to come out of retirement for a threesome. jeesh. I mean really, I haven't had sex for over a year and I want to get involved in some mess??

And yes, later when Seite and I were dancing, Butch Flame shouts out "kiss, kiss"... ack. Sometimes butch dykes make redneck men seem sensitive.

But it was a fun evening. (and the previous night too, except for getting Fuck You inappropriately... we were all joshin around when she blew up at me, and the other women were like WTF!! she totally YELLED at you, and for WHAT?!!... besides that incident, the other women Seite introduced me to were the greatest. Very involved in setting up dyke events in Saskatoon, incredibly enough. One of them was even an import from Wales!)

So here we are at a Saskatchewan gay bar. The one the night before was some men's joint, very lawyerish, sort of a posh lounge you have to come in by the back alley. And this one is a dance bar, and again, we have to come in from the back alley. Let me say that clandestine is "in" in Saskatoon. You come in a door, and there is only a little entry with locked door and a tiny window, where you have to prove gay friendly.

I guess we passed. It was either the matching dresses or the presence of Butch Flame.

Inside there was a majority of natives, which I found curious... including a very sweet boy (maybe 19 or 20) who told me I was his hero, I danced so well and was so beautiful and he wanted to tape his dick between his legs and wear a dress like that and stockings... very funny. His butchy girlfriend was very blocky shaped and wore grey permanent press cotton shapeless things, and asked me if I was drunk or on something... god only knows... except she told me that to "act like that I'd have to be on something"... I think she meant dancing and actually smiling at strangers.. She seemed compelled to blend in with concrete blocks. hehe.

There was a very sexy dancer... exotic dancing type with all the moves... transvestite/trannie girl who did a lovely impromptu show. And a very drunk very faggy looking native guy in black pants, shirt, tie and vest danced with me (and with every other girl in the place)... god only knows why he didnt dance with the guys... I don't think I have seen anyone dance so faggy in years! LOL! But he was a good dancer, if you didn't get too much alcohol breath on you.

I got to dance to a whole techno medley of Abba hits, which was very very funny. And only got brushed up against once or twice more by Butch Flame before the night was over. No more shouting which was good. I don't know why Seite picks these girls. Ok I do... she has a thing for Tops, and ends up with abusive pushy women. Dang. Well, ob too, and me too, but I try not to go there. I mean, a weekend affair is enough to see they are going to be dominating out of bed as well as in it. Ack and ack. Brushes me the wrong way, let me tell ya.

Anyways, here is a photo of why I give Seite the rejects from my projects (ie really good quality artwork that gets cut by the editors of books)... she FRAMES it, and puts it on her walls! She even listed it "original artwork by the Wench" in her list of property she is insuring when she rents out her house this year. Very cool.

Well, now I just KNOW you are DYING to know what the "gritty grimy" part of the entry title is about... well, that is how i feel right now. I FINALLY got my bathroom cleaned, and I FINALLY cleaned up a whole pile of shit (stuff, not real shit) in the basement, that has been covered in concrete sawdust since 2002. yup. that's a long time.

And I did it all ass-backwards. Well, I started off ok.. I washed the dog, or at least her head and neck, since that is what gets wet when she drinks from the garden hose, and then doesn't dry properly and then smells bad.

And then I comet-ed the toilet, the sink, the bathtub, BEHIND the toilet, the plunger, the toilet brush... I went to town I tellya. BTW, a piece of advice. Do NOT, i repeat, do NOT vacuum up them thin cellophane ob tampon wrappers. They are tiny and stick in the hose and WHISTLE, and all the dog fluff gets stuck and then it whistles MORE and then SCREAMS and you lose your pressure and it is a huge hassle. Pick up them cellophane ob tampon wrappers, yup, beFORE you vacuum.

Now one of the reasons I cleaned so well is I am expecting a visit from my new mommy friend with her month old baby, AND our MeanTop friend ... well, she's really sweet, but I have seldom seen a woman slap a guy across the face like she does, with such incredible disdain. She's got a mouth on her she does. Sweetest woman though.. and her daughter is two I think... and bound to crawl behind the toilet I figure.

So to continue in the "cleaning for little kid" vein, I thought to dig out the toys that were making up most of that dusty pile downstairs... a tonka truck, bathtub toys, fisher price toys... all bought second hand at garage sales when this other friend used to come over with his little boy all the time. And hasn't since 2002. Yet another friend lost to a superfemme (he is one of those guys so glom onto his girlfriend and you never never see him anymore).

So I ran a bathload of soapy water and washed everything... the floor is covered with huge towels spread with a plastic smorgasbord. And I continued... washing the legs of the manniken, the rubbermaid worm-composting bin (I figure it will be the perfect thing to put the clean toys into), the hamster cage, the foam sleeping mat for camping... yup. And I threw out a whole pile of shit (again, stuff, not real shit)... and I shopvacced the basement floor. wooooeeeee!

So now everything but me is clean and spiffy. But I WILL have a lovely bath oil bath before I hit the sack.

Well, there are a bazillion other things to write about, like the idiots in Paraguay who killed 300 people through criminal negligence, but that is a bummer for another day, ok? Don't google it, I'll rant tomorrow. And then there's the guy on Tapestry who was talking about religious communities (like nuns in a convent, or monks) yesterday, and the cool sexy photo of Jesus (well,of a statue of him...no photos of Jesus)... and whether the Saudis will allow women to vote in their proposed upcoming election.

Well, that's all for another day, so we can just contemplate the twin dresses and the clean basement stuff. Pull-em-along Snoopy is happy as shit. (stuff, not real shit).

Nite nite!

Me, wenchie!!

My horoscope was teasing me today. I don't buy lottery tickets:

Here is my horoscope for Monday, August 16:

Money matters will be startling now, at the very least. Before you sign anything, be sure you know what you're getting into -- and consider all possible scenarios. Don't worry. Wouldn't it be startling to win the lottery?

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009

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