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music flamenco

bookbooks on betrayal, and websites about uppity apples.... more later.

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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2003-09-06 - 5:16 a.m.

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zzz 5:15 am! my gosh once again.

I was working on my Ripley's research for next book, and then was feeling so sad, finding things i wanted to share with ob. and now that is all gone. what a ridiculous waste. So i ended up writing my fantasy of how i hoped Michfest would go this year, which of course ended up being the load of crap that it did. I also wanted to write a "missing you" page, about all the things that make me think of her... from my tooth whitener, to the ganeshas to the roll of foodgrade saran wrap. it just is neverending.

Today was a busy day... Paul came by to bring copies of the 4 color books me made instead of a cdrom with the religious drawings i did. They are pretty fun, so sometimes the choices of the graphiste for color etc was pretty bad. he agrees that he will let me look over the next books before going to print.

i also go in the post a box of "chien de pavel" which turned out quite nicely, though somehow they managed to scan the color cover in all blue, so it is way more mournful than one would want for a book cover. oh well.

Then i ended up going for a huge long walk that was unintended. I planned to just look for some sterilising spray stuff for barbers that i can use on my straightrazor. But of course i found everything but.

I found lots of new shops on Mont Royal that have Ganeshas and other indian things, including nice throws and some sort of quilts or huge hangings at reasonable prices. Also new middle eastern places with sheeshas etc. I bought some nag champa incense, but the box smells so much it is hidden in the corner of the livingroom now. How ob has influenced me. I felt bathed in her presence as i shopped. i wish so much we were friends and she was shopping with me in Montreal. I see the restaurants we could try, the antique shops we would browse through, the art we would admire.

I ended up down on St Laurent street where the Librairia Espagnola is.. and bought two cds of flamenco music, as well as a set of castanets:

I've been playing with them off and on all evening. I opted for the third cheapest ones... they seemed so much nicer than the other cheaper ones.

I also looked for a razor strop but no go.

Bumped into Richard, my friend who was a cook at les Belles Soeurs. I told him i seldom go there lately, having adopted Le Placard in my daytime munchie habits, since the waitstaff is so much nicer. He looks to be doing well. I said i was doing really well, but sad.

That is the truth.

Tonight talked with Seite on the phone... her daughter is coming to Quebec for a student exchange. cool.

Other than that... work. Missing pc. hurt, anger, sorrow.

Planned to knock off early around 3am and have hookah and corona (which right now is getting overly frozen in the freezer! oops!) but ended up doing that webpage instead. Debating what to do about ob's birthday... do i call. Do i not call. She surely is in love with cobocorn and is feeling betrayed by me about the website and the depression note, and will just be miserable if she even picks up. Do i send a card (i bought one yesterday but will i send it) do i let it all slide for a year. that would probably be the best. i am not known for my skills at waiting however.

i will sleep on it. i have another day to think.

zzzz must sleep must sleep. flamenco passion betrayal and murder!

gnite LtheW, wench 77 (and to think that ob is one of the very few people who ever gave me a nickname.)

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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