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Music: 8 Mile soundtrack, Songbook by Goran Bregovic, Marlene Dietrich, Judy Garland

Reading: Le Journal de Montreal... drunk driving stories make me freak and worry about pc.

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003 - 4:30 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Kitsch Baroque Gypsy Music

Well, finally writing an entry when i am not drowning in sadness... yay!

I actually got another 7 pages of entries illustrated for my US client, and faxed off, and it is only 4:30 am!! I think i can smoke a hookah and have a cold corona with lime!mmmmm

I am listening to the most EXCELLENT MUSIC... it is Goran Bregnovic: "Songbook"... he is the composer who wrote the music to the movies "Underground", "Arizona Dreams" (with Johnny Depp), and a slew of other amazing movies. Gypsy influences. He apparently was born to a Serbian mother and a Croatian father, according to the liner notes.There are also several tracks on this disc that are done by Iggy Pop and Ofra haza. It is totally fun and inspiring... dance to the insanity of slavic gypsies!!!!

Food news break!: To make excellent these tomatoes, and mix 1/2 can with 2 avocados... squish between your fingers.. lick off fingers... eat the rest with tortilla chips, esp. Tostitos! mmmyum the best!:

Besides Goran, tonight i am listening to Marlene Dietrich"Falling in Love Again"... what a voice! in german, english and french. Delectable. Totally lends itself to performance ideas. And I tried to buy a cd of "The Sweetest Memories"... ie songs from Frank Sinatra, Judy Garland, Louis Armstrong, Ella Fitzgerald... but when I put the disc in... what comes out but some sort of Hindu New Age!! They put the wrong cd in the box at the cash! oops! the perils of second hand!!

But the other Judy Garland record: "Judy at Carnegie Hall"is ok... I actually only listened to one disc of the two in the set, but was already tired of the live show theme of "over the rainbow", which the band seems to segue into every two words she speaks...

I WAS trying to find her singing "Me and My Shadow" to practice (and on the Memories cd, there was supposed to be "Hello Dolly"... but not in hindu music!) ... but instead bought all these other ones... and Me and MY Shadow isnt even on any of them!! ooops!!

Other EXCELLENT BUY is the soundtrack to the movie 8 Mile lovely lovely lovely... takes me back to the movie... rabbit and his little sister in the trailer park. But it made me cry. One for missing ob. One for missing Detroit. One for missing my brother, cuz in the rabbit song eminem sings about being there for his little sister, and my little brother is gone. sad sad. oh dear.

Thank god the Bregnovic doesnt do this to me!!!

Other things today:

Craziness on the work front... had to call and say WHOA to my Bear publishers, who are stepping up the contract deadline and writing me how this is the best greatest opportunity, and I have NOT got the time or the energy to be able to finish it for when they want it. Nor the financial ressources. They seem to think it will pay off in royalties in the long run... but I cannot buy dog food or pay my mortgage on money that may come in 18 months plus from now. I need to do the US contracts to live off of. I was feeling so stressed, but feel better once i put my foot down and say NO NO NO. thank god... I cannot do ANY work when i am so stressed....

And... a weird nite on the web... trying to find more reference stuff... ended up getting stuck in other people's web diaries again! Found some fun shit out there... artists, illustrators, and just plain funkola people. I may add some of them to my diary favorites soon.

But one of them wrote about "Bowling for Columbine" so i tried to rent it again... thot i could watch it later tonight... but the videostore close to my place closed their doors at 12:48, though it says 1am, and the next closest place I hadnt remembered closed at midnight, and the third closest (24hr) place only had a dvd... AND i ended up losing my videoclub cards out of my pocket, so had to RETRACE my whole journey to find them... and of course they were about three doors from my house on the sidewalk, so i wouldve found em if i'd come straight home. Well, lots of exercise at 1am, and since i didnt get the video i still had time to blow!

Well, that is it... doing fine. Though was totally overwhelmed with a desire to forward my Detroit webpages to ob... so hard not to have contact. I love her and want to have her in my life and me in her life, but through a permeable membrane, like each others websites, so we can recommend websites and movies and books and music. I guess that is insane. To want to block someone out of your life as in seeing them and speaking with them, cuz they hurt you so much and will continue to do so, and at the same time want to have ongoing cultural exchanges.

Well, goodnight... off to smoke a hookah and sleep... zzzz

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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