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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Sunday, Sept. 28, 2003 - 4:47 a.m.

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Contact Meow Dancing and Fabulous Ruins of Detroit

Saturday nite. almost sunday morning.

Supposedly i left Meow Mix early in order to get some work done. Did i?


I will probably have to send the last 2 chapters of my US work on Tues instead of on Monday... i dont see that i'll get it done unless i totally work like an insane workaholic type tomorrow. which is possible if i can keep myself from crying and singing songs from HAIR .

Tonight my perfomance at Meow Mix went very well. But i really think i need an intro for slavetodomme transformation in front of a mostly dyke crowd. I asked a friend afterwards... she had no clue that i was a "slave" or "sub" at the start... just that i looked shy and then got dressed up. The red dick was a big crowdpleaser, but i think they were just stumped in general. This was the equivalent of showing femme to butch to the straight fetish crowd... they have no ideological framework for "butch"... they just see a pretty girl getting dressed up as a man... and wonder why...

Music was good and fun to dance to... i did some crazy contact dancing with George, flopping off of eachother and spinning around and flipping on the floor etc. Felt good at the time and now i have a sore elbow (old climbing injury), a sore shoulder (landed on clavicule), and my back and knees are shit!! oops!! It was funny... we ended up with an audience... we were taking half the dance floor, but i didnt think we'd draw an audience. hmmm. So weird how i can spontaneously do contact dance and do all these floppyflips onto the floor, yet i am totally inhibited and scared to do a foreward roll if i have to think about it. Not good for martial arts, like Judo that i dropped out of!! Bad thing about the dancing... ended up breaking for the THIRD time, my white rosarydrat.

Ended up checking out some links... ended at Squirrel X's site... and there is a huge list of links under her entry. Wild things like One-piece bathing suits for men, bonsai potato, and Fabulous Ruins of Detroit... i admit i got stuck on that last one for quite awhile, and put some links to my Detroit photos on my website.

I'm being very bad and sending some links from that site to ob. Bad bad. I am hoping general interest links do not count as harassment or causing her pain. Actually my Netscape crashed and so that email is still in my drafts.... i can always NOT send it yet.

Had to leave the Meow Mix, too sad about ob. Seeing young dykes with punky dark haircuts, tattooed upper arms, punky clothes very 80's with skull and crossbones and chunky metal boots. Cant deal with it. Ob ten years younger. And watching a girl dance who had crosses of black electrical tape all across her torso. Too ob. Cant deal. Watching girls and just imagining ob dance. Getting over her is not going quickly. Must do an exorcism or somesuch with candles and wax and wine or something in the livingroom. I dunno.

Well, at least once i left i was no longer overwhelmed with the urge to cry and cry. that is good. Well, off to bed now... tired tired and try to work tomorrow instead of moping.

goodnight sweet wenchie,

Me. xxx

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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