Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

101 Things About Me

Do My Surveys
(scroll down)

To Do List

To Buy List

Free Guestmap from Bravenet 

Monday, Sept. 26, 2005 - 12:40 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
(JavaScript Error)

WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

How to Ruin Pesto in Two Easy Months

Well, I learned something interesting and valuable today.

It is possible to ruin basil by letting it grow too long in the garden.
I will now throw in the compost a whole bathtubful, yes, five packed grocery bags full, of garden basil.

I made three batches of pesto, despite feeling it was too astringent, too strong, too GREEN, but really hesitated when the jar was full. So I took it to the restaurant where I hang out... a bunch of food connaisseurs.. but not hoity toity ones. For heaven's sake they sell mussels in wine, and HAMBURGERS!

They agreed. Smells good, looks good, and their faces scrounched up when they ate a bit. Too bitter, tastes like grass flavoured with pesto. Horrid. Leaves an astringent bitter feel on your mouth and back of throat.

And yes, the leaves are rather tough. I put some into a thai curry last week and found them hard to chew and not pleasant like basil usually is. Glll.

So, I let the plants go too long. I thought I was doing the right thing... someone had said to pinch off the flowers and let it grow. So I pinched three times, and it was three feet high. I was so excited at the sheer volume, and planned to make pesto all night... give it as gifts etc, freeze a good bunch for the winter.

I am saving the pesto already made, and will tuff through its bitterness myself, but the rest of the basil goes into the bin it does. At least I CAN compost it, instead of it going into the garbage. I have to think that I got quite a few good spaghetti sauces out of it earlier in the season, and after all it is only $5 worth of plants.

Next year, we yank it out and do the pesto thing in July I tell ya. And replant if needs be for a second recolte.

Dang. Sort of disappointing, and yet sort of a relief. I just saved myself about 5 hours of pestoing.

For those of you interested, here is a great page all about pesto.

And tonight I had a wonderful lovely phonecall with a great guy, a good friend from the mid 80's who I keep contact with only every few years... incredibly his son is now FIVE when the last time I saw he was sending me BIRTHING photos! yikes! Anyways, wonderful lovely supportive great friend.

And I got a fax from my dad, woe is me of course for 'venting' about my birthday 'angry all the time' book present. hah. I said 'thankyou for the Calvin $ Hobbes, that was really thoughtful and nice. But the angry book inside the present so it was the first thing I saw was really thoughtless and I felt hurt and cried' Hmm that is venting huh.

I would love to vent, but of course that would just prove his 'angry all the time' point. Anyways, he seems to think I am stuck angry about my childhood, weirdly enough. Strange, since I forgave him (though it is hard to forget... they are not the same things) years ago, between therapy, deep trigger massage, whatever... thinking, well, he was young, he had a hard childhood himself etc. If I hadn't forgiven him I wonder how I managed to have a nice relationship with him for four or five years til he totally started acting out again on his visit last fall. And then I was angry for how he was being THEN, EACH AND EVERY DAY.

I have enough things to legitimately be angry or upset about, really. He seems to think that negative unfortunate things happen when you hang onto anger. I guess I am infertile cuz of my past anger, and my lovers cheat on me cuz of my past anger, my computer browser doesn't work, the foster adopt system and international adoption are so crazy and difficult, my clients don't stick to their contracts, and they change the URL of my website without warning because of my past anger. Who knew that forgiving your dad for having been an asshole at 6, 8, 12, 15 would stop the world from provoking anger in you forever and ever, and would keep negative and unfortunate things from happening! Don't buy a rabbit's foot, or wish on a lucky star or pray to God, forgive your parents, and all will work out, really it will.

So yay, thanks Dad. Thanks for your wise and self-serving self-help hints for me.
And really, when I vent, it ain't 'Dad, that was thoughtless and made me cry'. Believe me. Really.

I did have a short conversation with another dogwalkie gal in the park, and her brother is an ass too... anyways we had a hug and congratulated ourselves for being hardworking, successful kickass women.

So, forward and onward with work, (oh, and making some pasta to eat some of that pesto... 1am and I havent eaten supper yet)... South Korea has just told me that somehow they want me to finish all the color drawings in THREE WEEKS!! MWHAHAHAHAHAH!! it took me five weeks each other time. And I have three other contracts on the go. Sheesh.

I promised to do my best.
And no I didn't get angry.
I just feel resigned.
But yeah, life is wearing me down.
But I'm feeling better than before.


4 People have left cute, callous or caring comments on the wench's wordiness!!
Leave yours too!!

Go to "notes" instead of comments

Join my Notify List and get email when I post a private entry:
Powered by
ps, you'll need to email me for a username and password


previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!

Prism Comics!

*inspired by Chaosdaily