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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Tuesday, Mar. 23, 2004 - 4:44 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Les Crottes Sont Lancés!!

OMG, just when I think I'm caught up... I just spent the last three hours reading emails (previously for the past two days I have only skimmed, taken the spam off the top, and opened anything that looked urgent urgent), replying, filing, deleting. Writing down snail mail addys of the people I looked up on Google who replied. Stuck books and promo pages in envelopes for the orders etc. Yeah.

And then I think, oh , I'll write an entry about my day. And my fuckin buddy list is lit up like grand central switchboard. What the hell are you all doin updatin when I don't have time to read you yet?? yeh, whatcha THINKING??

Well, here I am, my wenchie self, though I am tempted to call myself SIR PROFESSOR WENCH after the runin with the wtf reviewers yesterday. I mean really. They want to review sites and tell people their opinon of their usernames and they cannot even read the first sentence of my profile, though they have to go through it EVERYTIME they leave me a note (unless they love me so much they bookmarked my notes page!)...Sir Wench, that's me.

Tired but getting a second wind. At 9pm tonight I was totally zonked.

Last night I stayed up putting price stickers on books (I took a box of kids books cuz they always sell, no matter WHAT I do a gig for), putting matting around some original pages from my book etc, until 7 am when I took all the images I was going to hang on the café walls to the café itself.

Did you know it is PAINFULLY sunny at 7-8 am?? I mean like BLINDING! The sun is low on the horizon so it shines directly through windows into eyes. It is kind of fun. Streets are empty. Waitresses and customers alike look like they just tumbled out of bed. I should check into the world of real people more often at that hour. Very funny.

I actually had my breakfast croissant and coffee BEFORE going to bed around 8:45 am. And slept soundly til 2pm. Rushed around getting change ($1 and $2 coins, $5 and $10 bills), picking up my cheese curds (crottes de fromage) etc.

Got home and made an amazing spread of leafy lettuce, with cheese crottes on one side, vege-creton in the middle, and squished avocado with lime juice on the other side. Surrounded with an artistic arrangement of pieces of cantaloup, grapefruit, oranges, red grapes, kiwi, pineapple, strawberries, and some parsley for pizazz. Add a pineapple top to the side and it looked GREAT!

I dressed in my black tanktop, black SF suede skirt, striped red and black stockings, little black boots and a red fuzzy sweater, and as soon as my editor arrived we hailed a cab and dragged all the food and books to the coffeeshop.

What followed was three hours of mayhem... well for me anyways. The turnout wasn't huge, but there was a constant influx of people I knew, many of whom I hadn't seen in ages. It is funny... someone has posted a photoessay of the launch online (sorry, no link since I am sort of semi trying to be anonymous here) and my editor looks SO bored, usually reading one of my books, while I am invisible in the photos since I am surrounded by people (well, one or two or three each photo), or moving and blurry! hehe. I sold 16 new books, and 4 older ones, plus another pile of kids books. Total take $340 before expenses. Not so bad, considering it is minus 15 or so outside! eep! Winter came again!

Anyways, all that signing books and chatting totally wiped me out. Fortunately when I got home I walked the dog with a friend who helped me out (hard to get into a taxi with a two foot by three foot foil-covered board with lettuce and food on it!) and bought some chocolate milk and a Mae West cake. Yeah. Nothing like sugar to pick one up, eh!

Anyways, I wish I could say more about the book launch, but it was mostly "HI!!! oh so GLAD you could make it!! Thanks! Yeah, this is the new book! Ok, he's taking the money... sign it to whom? How do you spell your name? Thanks! Great you showed up! Thanks! Bye! oh, Hiii!!! Great to see you ... long time! Yeah, this is my new book... unhuh... one copy?... ok... " you see what I mean.

One thing that I noticed was that Fetish Cafe people showed up in droves. That despite the fact that all last year I seldom even went out since I was seeing ob in the states, therefore out of town for two weeks, then rushing to get work done for two weeks so I could go back to the states. Some straight comics guys showed up which was cool. And actual friends. But the general dyke community... all those people who supposedly read comics about a bi-dyke?? Nope. So weird. Not a single woman from our "Holy-less Army" either. Well, one woman, but I count her more as an alround friend. Hmm.

It is all the weirder in that the fetish people have no direct interest in comics like this... they are not queer but the comics are. The comics arent fetish related, they are dyke related and bi-related. Weird. And no one from the publishing industry came either, despite me sending invites to all my clients and contacts. Very strange.

The sad thing is now us Fetish Cafe people are rather homeless. So maybe little supportive things between us like this are going to be our "meeting point" from now on. Dunno. Anyways, my ex of the M*dori entries and F.C. closing fiasco, didn't show up despite him being in the book. Hmm. I think he has decided I have chosen sides despite not even having seen me. Well, he is rather right, though I would have been quite happy if he came and was supportive at my launch. Happily one of his friends/ employees was there, who I was afraid wouldnt show up. yay. Well I am blabbling now which I am quite sure is dull.

Well, nothing much to say.

Well, I was going to sign off, but on the radio there is news about the assassination of the Hamas leader, Sheik Ahmed Yassin, which Israeli leader Sharon says is legitimate. They say that it is fine to assassinate terrorist leaders. Now that is scary. Imagine war peace if every nation thinks it can just off and assassinate leaders of other countries and people? We're back to feudalism in Europe, with competing princes offing eachother. I mean REALLY... why then not just have policement gunning down mafia kingpins on the street? Or suspected killers? No trials, no evidence, no jail, just shoot someone. Or in this case, drop a bomb, killing three bystanders as well. I fail to see how that is not terrorism and vigilantism itself. ack. Well, now I'm off to proofread (crazy me, what am I thinking... having the time and energy to do THAT?!!) and then to bed. tah!

Here is my horoscope for Monday, March 22:

For this moment, at least, you're immune to the consequences of your actions. Malice is the furthest thing from your mind. Benign cosmic influences set the scene for a perfect learning environment.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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