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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Tuesday, Jul. 20, 2004 - 12:33 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Things to Do When You are Broke as Heck

Things I have done when I was completely broke.

  • I moved to Montreal for school. I had a wee bit of money from working the summer before, but had to wait til November for student load money to come in. I slept on a comforter on a hardwood floor (got bruises on my hips and shoulders), got malnutrition, stopped getting my period from too much exercise (couldnt afford a bike or subway so just ran everywhere, and was working out at the gym with gay boys) and not eating well enough. I dropped photography class cuz I couldnt afford the photo stuff, and took drawing cuz I could buy paper and charcoal sticks one at a time at the student coop. Why would someone move 3000 miles with no $? who knows!
  • Bought a new pair of nifty pants, a new shirt, a recording walkman (nearly $400 at the time) and went to Purple Rain and some bad bad Kristy McNichol movie, all the same day, my last year of university. Silly silly me. I was still eating peanut butter, tinned tomato soup and cooked on a hot plate. But I only regretted the Kristy McNichol movie. I was so disappointed in her. I loved her in Little Darlings.
  • Went to NYC with three school friends the last week of university. It was a school bus charter, with four to a hotel room. We took bread and tunafish. It was really a budget trip. I didn't buy film (bought tuna fish instead), before I went cuz of lack of funds, and thus didn't photodocument the year end work I had done for my Fine Arts degree. My work was all destroyed over the weekend I was gone. wow. It was not a good start to my fine arts portfolio, and may be the deciding reason I am not a fine artist. I DID enjoy the trip to NYC.
  • Went to NYC a second time with a girl who had a crush on me and who offered to pay for the bus charter and hotel... this was only like a month after the first time. The most I got out of it was handholding. Oh well.
  • Lent money to a girl, my second year in university, for her rent. It never came back. Live and learn. Ironically I was more broke than she was... but when her paycheck came in I never saw any of it.
  • Went to a women's musicfest in the states. I had $5 in my pocket, a bus ticket home, and a ticket into the fest when I crossed the US border. Food and camping were included so they let me in. I hitched from the bus dropoff to the camping, and didn't buy any icecream, coffee, gifts or whatnot. But I had an amazing time and got the hugest sunburn of my life
  • Flew to Saskatchewan to my dying grandmother's bedside. My uncles surreptitiously gave me money to help pay for the ticket. Some friends had forwarded me the money... I didn't have a credit card then.
  • Went to art school in Alberta. The govt gave me a grant that covered my tuition and most of my room and board. But I had no $ for toothpaste, clothes, art supplies etc. I was totally broke, but well fed. (veal, which I didn't eat, on the menu. And pacific salmon). I worked babysitting, stamping envelopes, washing dishes at a conference center, modelling for art classes. Mostly I made handmade paper out of bailer twine and leaves I found on the ground, and sculptures out of discarded cardboard boxes and kraft paper. I found out that for-the-taking free used clay tends to have plaster chunks in it, so the items you make self-destruct from the humidity in the air.
  • Registered for pre-med at McGill. Couldn't afford the textbooks and lab supplies. Ruined my achilles tendon running as a courrier in the winter slush (couldn't afford a bus pass or bicycle), and had to quit my courrier job to work in a coffeeshop. Didn't go back to any more pre-med classes after week one since I was ordered not to walk but had to stand all day at the coffeeshop counter anyways.
  • Went to Saskatchewan for my brother's funeral. Fortunately you get half price with a death certificate. My grandmother was dead two days after I left, so I had been out of luck with that one.
  • Quit my job and started a massage business and an illustration business. I could only send out one set of photocopies to potential clients every week or two, rather than do a mass mailing. I got the massage table (made out of plywood) used from a friend, used a table and chair I found on the roadside and painted black, and sewed towels and sheets from a bargain discount fabric place in the warehouse district. It went ok but I ended up on welfare for self-employed people.
  • Went to England to see my girlfriend there three times in two years while I was on welfare. eek. I went as a courrier, accompanying shipments by fedex etc. Carryon baggage only, for 5 days.
  • Moved to England to be with the girlfriend. I was basically completely broke, as any $ I made on a few contracts and babysitting I used to pay the storage and telephone line I had in Canada. The govt acceded to removing me from the welfare rolls when I left the country for the UK (I'd asked before to stop getting it but they'd refused!!!!)
  • Went to Amsterdam with my English girlfriend. She insisted on going since it was her dream, and she paid the travel and hotel. I did the rest (food and whatnot) on a cash advance on my visa. eek again. It was a great trip. We saw live sex acts, watched XXX movies in a shady room with men wanking off, saw Anne Frank's house, and went to a dyke dance where they were all 6 feet tall.
  • Spent $800 on a cat that died. It got sick while in the care of others while I was in England and Amsterdam. I was very sad about that. The cat mostly, and the $800 as well.
  • Went to Toronto to sell comics at a Small Press expo. That was this May.
That means I haven't been completely broke between the dead cat in 1994 and now. Ten years of not completely broke. One can get used to that, one can.

But I was just thinking, now that I am planning to go to Ottawa this weekend, and then to the family reunion the following weekend, just how many things, wild and crazy fun and incredible things I have done where I didn't let being completely broke stop me. Trips where I took my own sandwiches. Classes where I bargained to get in by painting walls with murals. Things I did on credit that were just so so worth it. Even my university took me 15 years to pay off, but I couldve stayed at home with mom on the prairies and gone nowhere, and what fun would THAT have been??

The end.

If that wasn't enough to think about... here is 160 Uses for Gaffer Tape.

And a list of the google search referers to me, today:

  • autopsy morbid (pics)
  • tight shirts
  • griffintown
  • annie lennox i don't want to wait in vain for you love (sic)
  • hot + wax + bdsm
  • paris hilon
  • firetruck drawings
  • "4th Degree Murder"
  • hermaphrodite photos
  • "answer key" +"emode's ultimate iq test"
  • cooking swisschard
  • mich*fest pics
  • "hold onto what is good even if it is a handful of earth"
  • exhibitionist girlfriends
  • 50cent cartoon fan art
  • 101 uses for ceiling fans
  • wench77
Yup, someone ACTUALLY google me, to get to me. I don't get the hermaphrodite photos thing... it pops up like every day. The only other thing as popular is the everlasting Paris Hilon. hehe.

Edible Weed of the Day: Pineapple Weed. This is available most places where there is a sandy empty lot or ballfield. You can smell the pineapply smell coming up when you walk on it on a rainy day. Pick some, wash it well, like spinach, to get out the sand. Steep a handful in boiling water. Strain and drink. It is a sister of the chamomile we drink, and in my opinion, much much nicer. Give it a try. Won't cost you a penny. mmmm goood!

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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