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Music today:"Bare" by Annie Lennox

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Saturday, Dec. 06, 2003 - 12:15 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Burping Pesto in the Moroccan Livingroom

HMmm, parsley pesto burped up into a mouth in which bittersweet chocolate has just been melted, is not a wondrous. Thing. Too much green and garlic taste for the chocolate. Yup. Just a personal observation.

I have been a good girl, and got some photos taken of a few doggies (unfortunately only one fat cockerspaniel, one boxer from far away, and two dalmatians... and there aren't dalmations in my story) at the doggie run this afternoon. There really aren't many dogs out in daylight this time of year. Someone did suggest that Sat aft early (ie tomorrow) would be a good time to try for multiple doggies in the park. I shall endeavor to be up at 1pm with my camera in hand. Brrrr (that thought came from my body wrapped up in my feather comforter and flannellette sheets!)

And afterwards I traced all my drawings for the story of the little boy Fredo who thinks his parents are going to dump him off like an unwanted dog, since they are short on cash, and he eats the most (heretoafter "Eavesdrop boy", as he has his ear glued to his parents' bedroom door after lights out, and as a result, formulates his dreadful suspicion). So hopefully I can be done Eavesdrop boy by next Friday. Very doable.

I am a bit less timestressed since I FINALLY got an email from the woman in charge of the new color kids' book I'm supposed to be working on, about the little boy stuck in a basement apartment down south here (up north for you Americans), who reminisces about his life in the Far North (heretoafter known as "Arctic Boy"). The reason why she hasn't returned my messages for the past month is that she is not dead, nor helping a family member out who had an amputation or brain cancer, but in fact is in Mexico promoting their line of books. Who even knew that book promotion was done in Mexico, let alone necessitated a trip there in December! I really am in the wrong part of this business.

One editor in Mexico, another who is paying me late cuz they were in Europe, and another was always in New York or Frankfurt Germany. So dreadful. No wonder they cannot find money for their illustrators and authors. Did I mention that my Bear author forwarded me a letter she has written to the editor demanding payment in full for her manuscript within one month (Jan 5) or she will complain to the funding councils. She told me that is the THIRD time she has had to threaten to go over the head of a publisher in order to get paid. Horrid. I spoke with my friend Charlie too, and he says that every author and illustrator he knows has one industry abuse story after another. Deep sigh. But at least this author is getting the ball rolling. She sent me another letter (that was addressed to me and not cc the publisher's letter), basically saying everything I've said to friends and in my diary... that the publishers would be an empty office without manuscripts and drawings, that it is RIDICULOUS for the publisher to act like they cannot pay us because the MEAN government funding agency is FORCING them to actually pay the money they owe to authors and illustrators for last year, etc. She is so totally right. Grr.

I REALLY hope that this book doesn't drop dead and flop because of this flakey publisher. I hope to hell they get the money to pay us, print it up, get foreign rights sold, and ACTUALLY PAY us our share of the rights! Gee, what ridiculous expectations I have!!!

Anyways, back to the woman in Mexico. She says now time is short to put the book out for spring, so that the ArcticBoy will come out in Fall 2004. Damn. The good thing is that the work won't be due til in May sometime. The bad thing is that I won't see the money til June 2004. And that was 1/3 of the income I was counting on for Nov-Jan. Fart and shit and artistic diahrea with no toilet paper. Grrr.

Other than that, I am happy to say I went to the Cafe Toast Thé (that is not the english "the" but rather the french for "tea", pronounced "tay", a play on words since toasté means toasted, and toast thé means toast and tea) and did another 4 pages of my "I Posed for a Pornographer" Comic. At this rate I just may be able to get a book out for APE in San Fran in Feb. I sure hope so. I am just having a bit of a time making my "Don't be a Shit" (the title of the book) stories be funny. I'll get on a roll soon though, to be sure. yeah.

Well, that's it for now. I just thought I'd write a little something about the bad parsley pesto and chocolate experience.

Oh wait!! Have you shopped for tooth floss lately?? I had this yellow "stand on the counter" tooth floss dispenser that I've had for about three millenium, and it ran out. So I went to buy another one. Not to be done. No stand on the counter containers. But about three gazillion choices. Premeasured, fluffy, woven, waxed, for tight teeth, prelubed, string, tape, with little handles, travel, mint, seafresh, regular, flourescent colors even! I mean hell... premeasured and FLUFFY!! Check this Yahoo comparison of dental floss to see what i mean!!ack! I am sure it works well, but other than the fact that it took us three millenium to finish the large stand on counter container, what was the problem? Sure sometimes it got stuck and shredded, but sometimes nails bend too when you hit them in and as far as I can see there aren't that many "improvements" on the market in just a year or two!! Anyways, I bought some regular unscented, unfluffy, untaped or woven stuff. I think it was recommended to shred less, but so were they all. Sigh.

I am starting to sound like that idiot on Finkleman's 45's, Saturday nights on CBC Radio One. The show's description says something about "his personal observations on modern times" which basically means that between oldies songs he moans and groans better than your father and grandmother combined (my dear Grandma said that the Beatles ruined music and now there are no good songs... then she'd haul off and go "lalalalala" in a scornful voice... she liked tragic love songs with lots of lyrics!) Anyways, I am always afeared I dislike him so much because I am his oratorial twin. Heaven help me.

Well, I may add some images or more writing later... after all it's not even one am and I will surely be up for another 5 hours or so... see ya layyyyyyter! (gonna go ink those comics pages now in my Moroccan livingroom"... damn, I keep thinking about that article yesterday that talked about how smoking the hookah can reduce your lung capacity by 30% for nonsmokers and 40% for smokers! No wonder ob huffed and puffed though she is a walkathon quality walker, when we were climbing by the sea! No oxygen in the ol windbags! eeek!... hehe, yeah, the Moroccan livingroom is where my hookah resides!)


3:06 amAhah! I found the photos of Madonna as an art student, taken by the same photographer who took photos of me as an art student... he swore in 1989 that he would NEVER sell photos of an art student to a porn mag, and yet, he had sold this series to Playboy in 1985, 4 years before he told me that. This definitely fits him within my definition of A SHIT, for my "Don't be a Shit" comic, yup. At least they are nice photos. But really... if you are gonna take photos for Playboy, tell your models it is for Playboy, not your photography portfolio, and pay them accordingly.

Also, here is a standard industry model release, which supposedly is "phrased in a non-intimidating manner". Phrased in that way perhaps, but absolutely horribly scary!! Imagine that any part of any photo of you including your face, could be used to promote ANYTHING, and they could put your image in conjunction with ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING, distort or change it in ABSOLUTELY ANY MANNER!! and WITHOUT CONSULTING YOU!!... Can you believe that this is the Industry Standard?!!! That means if a photographer puts out a request for models for let's say, your favorite jeans, and you pose in them for a catalogue. And then he hands you this paper to sign. If you sign, you could find pictures of yourself, with a new nude bottom half, fucking a donkey. Yup. And the photographer would be paid for using his photo of you, but you would not be paid a cent. Mindboggling isn't it. Yup.

Without you signing this release, your face belongs to you, and no one in the street can come and take a shot of you and use it to promote something without your permission. But once you sign that, you are up shit's creek, not only without a paddle, but without a swimsuit or a shore in sight. Grrr and grrr again. I personally consider this to be abusive. And I theoretically should be on the side of the photographer, as an artist, who wants to be able to use his work without someone saying "oh I'm too fat in that picture, and in this one my nose is too big, and you can show the photo in this gallery, but not in the one in Paris cuz my exboyfriend lives there"... But I really think that in photography like in everything else, a compromise could be reached. Such as "these photos can be used as is, or transformed, to be shown only in a gallery, museum or fine arts magazine context, or for promotion of the photographer's work." That would seem fair non?? Or "these photos are for use in the Box Jean's contract from May to Dec 2004, and for the photographer's work portfolio". Well, end of that rant. It is another issue that makes me angry. Can you tell???

Here is my horoscope for Friday, December 5:

Fate throws stubborn people together and challenges them to find common ground. This is the stuff of romantic comedy. You should be positive enough to try for a happy ending.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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