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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
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Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Monday, Apr. 04, 2005 - 6:12 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Logic With Bush and the Pope

People are really tiresome sometimes.

Someone is illogical, nasty and attacking bitterly, reading everything written as an indiction where none was meant, biting irony where none was present, defensive when you are not attacking them, and basically acting as if you are their enemy when you are their friend.

You know they are just just being dumped by their lover of over a decade.

Apparently it is condescending, presumptive, nasty, etc etc to say "you're misreading what I am saying, being really kneejerk and defensive... i am sorry, it is understandable given the state you must be in... most people are uncharacteristically short-tempered when grieving".

Hmmm.

I am not his mother, and am arrogant, absurd, insulting, and projecting my personal issues onto him. hmmm. yes. He alone in all of the world is not subject to the very very obvious and evident effects of breakup. Jeesh.

I should just write back and say "ok, you have absolutely no excuse. You are just a kneejerk asshole with zero comprehension". I suppose that is nicer.

what the hell is with people??

And yes, I'm writing here to avoid writing back to that letter where I am told I am arrogant, absurd, insulting and projecting.

You know how long it took me to figure out that my mother and I were totally fighting and nasty, that my mother was verbally and emotionally attacking with no apparent logic, rhyme or reason when she moved away from here BECAUSE we were in grief... her for loss of her mother, feeling rejection because i had befriended her enemy my father, her loss of grandmotherhood and my loss of motherhood through my infertility, and my recent relationship breakup??

The more I look, the more I see over and over. Stress in one area spilling over into inexplicable (supposedly) bad behaviour with strangers, friends, inanimate objects. Rejection one place translates almost immediately into an erascible character, a dismal and defensive attitude, inability to see more than one side to an argument etc. Sigh.

So, yeah, this internet friend is being an ass.

My bad? I said that the Pope wasn't responsible for genocide through Bush's manipulation of sex-ed, and condom programs. The pope is responsible for all kinds of shit, such as no women in church positions, homosexuality and sexuality outside of marriage in general both being a sin, the point of sex being procreation... the creation of EVERY fertilized egg being a human soul god has put on earth so that any destruction or interruption of that process through the Pill, the condom, the IUD, abortion etc is considered against God's Will.

And yes, that has lots of consequences. At the same time Bush's policies do NOT come from the pope, even though some attitudes may be shared. If they did, Bush would've listened to the Pope and not bombed Iraq.

My sin with this internet friend was saying that the Pope WAS a man respected by many, who did have many good features... without him there may have been no Solidarit� in Poland. He was the first to pray in a Synagogue, the first to pray in a mosque. Those are big things in a world where Catholicism is not going to disappear tomorrow. He is against war. Etc etc etc..

No. I said "If the Pope is responsible for Bush's policies, then all Americans (you are one) are responsible for Bush". Now I sincerely consider both of those to be fallacies, along the lines of "If dogs are responsible for it raining today, all americans are responsible for the tsunami"...

And he was like "fuck you for saying I am responsible for Bush" "of course I am insulted you are saying I have anything to do with Bush"... well, I did NOT say that. I was using that OBVIOUS fallacy to highlight my opinion of the preceding Pope/Bush connection to be a fallacy. But that would be too insightful I suppose.

Anyways, yeah, I got lots of fuck yous. hmm. I then had the temerity to say he was acting as if I was attacking him and it was understandable given his recent breakup.

haha. Boy, did that piss him off. oh well. I still think it is totally true. He is usually relatively high on the intelligence and logic scale. At this rate he'd start screaming at an IQ tester, saying they were calling him a Bush ass-licker. hehe.

OK, it is fucking 7:23 in the morning. I have JUST NOW finished the last page of inside minicomics blurb. Goddamn. I had to have it done to photocopy and send to San Fran by 5pm. It will happen.

Time is flying by.

The South Korea people sent me more work tonight. They seem to be totally confused about the project... she said "when would you be ready to start the next level?" when it was her who wrote me "next level starts March 28" and then I didn't hear anything from her. I just assumed it wasn't done being written yet. Sigh.

Now I have TWO nights left to work, and I have about four nights of taxes to do. Wednesday I am cleaning house, packing and rushing to the airport.

Oh, Disappearing Boy? He arrived at 3:38 pm. He did not have the time wrong. There was traffic. Somehow he thought he could get here in 15 minutes though every time he drove me to his place it took 40 plus. So we DID get to the second showing of my friend's film, which was cool. And it was too late to get to the watercolor vernissage. I called, but the guy who answered said he hadn't seen my teacher to tell her I'd called. Oh well. One of two aint bad. Then we had coffee and nookie. hehe.

Why is he Disappearing Boy? Someone asked yesterday. Because he has disappeared from my life suddenly and without notice at least three or four times now in the past 27 years since we met (we first dated in 1988). I guess I should call him Reappearing Boy, cuz he does eventually reappear, even if it is to phone from the other side of the province after being incommunicado for 3 years.

OK< must eat grilled cheese. Must sleep. I was SOOO tired today and yesterday. That setting the time forward thing really cut into my sleep time.

Have a great day!
And when you are grieving, be aware that everyone is not out to get you suddenly. It is WAY more likely that you are suddenly perceiving everyone as out to get you. And if they tell you so, do not attack them for that as well. Dang.

night night!
me
wenchie
the presumptuous.
he
he

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009

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