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Music Today: Overdose on Christmas songs. I found the cd repeat function!

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Saturday, Dec. 25, 2004 - 12:31 a.m.

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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

I lie: there ARE Photos! Xmas Eve

OK, you know what? I don't FEEL like putting in photos. I am becoming a recacitrant diarist or something. I was a GOOD diariest a year and a bit ago... I ALWAYS made sure I had pictures of some sort every second entry at least. Oh well.

I can hear my coffee gurgling. This means that it is done. Ready. Fine for consumption.

OK just a sec... back soon.......

1:00 am
OK< OK< I lied, I lied. I didn't lie, I CHANGED my feeling whilst getting the coffee and scanned in photos. So this will be a whole mixed bag ok??

So this, eh, is the blood on my front step on Wednesday from doggy's chopped toenail. Nice eh! Fortunately now it has all melted away so I have pinkish ice instead of white snow with red blotches. Looks less like a slaughterhouse. You can see the bike tire (1" across) to give scale.

Next item on the agenda is doggy's little quilted ear. The pink blob under her ear holding it flipped up over her head is my hand. The pink blob in the middle full of stitches is the underside of her cute little ear, all stitched up. Poor doggies!!

Then we have a couple photos from Onewetleg's visit to my place. Here is a not very flattering photo of both of us together... I think this is the only time we are in the same shot! We are looking in different directions however, since we are both holding up our cameras, and of course being dolts, we are each looking at our own camera and not both at each one at a time. hehe. I totally have hathead and forgot and so don' t have my tuque on. oops!

This is what it looks like: Onewetleg painting in my watercolor class. She made the most scrumptious colors, including great greens. I am shit at making nice greens with those colors. She was not cowed by this cheap small paper and so painted enthusiastically on all of it. Later, given a large sheet of expensive Arches paper, she froze up and made a small person in one corner. oh dear. I should have told her "you used that so fast I'm gonna give you a big sheet or really cheap paper" and she might have gone wild! But she made funky cartoony people. She draws quite well... beside my computer she drew an yelling face with a black eye and it says "I was just standing there + Wenchid totally punched me in the eye." Nice pic. Don't know bout the sentiment though! Dang!

You can see this is as disjointed as my last few entries. here there and everywhere. This is me (small person in the dark wearing a purple coat... yeah yeah it's a purple coat. It was free eh and it's warm and machine washable) in the caleche being pulled by the horsie "Madame Nelson" last Sunday in the dark in the snow. Yes it is that dark here at 5pm. Dang!!

And this is the first of several photos taken by my father during his visit in October. Yup, there's doggy with all the hair on her ear, having a little drink. And yes, we are both going grey. Dang.

Well, that is the end of the photos. Hope y'all are thrilled and glad I changed my "feeling" about scanning in pics. It's cuz I am too full to eat chocolate, so I went for the photo pile instead.

Anyhews, you will all be proud of me to know that after having my nice Christmas warm bath, walking the dog on the frozen slush, eating my christmas dinner and opening the prezzies from my father, I phoned him. I figured it was a pre-emptive strike. I could call RIGHT after I opened the presents and thus could open with that, and I would be prepared and HE would be offguard hehe. So it worked. It was friendly and jocular and no mention was made of the visit, the banishment nor the subsequent superlong fax. Good going. Then he got called to dinner. I didn't mention that there was no parcel in the mail to him. hmm

And I purposefully left the prezzies from my mom til AFTER the call to him, in case it went badly. Same principle as leaving the chocolates for last that you KNOW you love, in case the other unknown ones in the box taste yucky. End with the surefire good things.

so, I got "Stupid White Men" from Mom, with a sticker on it saying "only used once". hehe. She bought it for my birthday and thought it looked good so she read it before sending it for Christmas. Too funny. Also a new pair of black 501's yay! A bit big but I'll grow into them eh! Yay for new jeans. And TWO new white elita bras. Yay! I love gifts that mean I can save money I would've had to spend yay. No socks. Dang. And a box of chocolates. Yes I ate the one with obvious coconut on it first. yuck. get it out of the way and leave the best for later. mmm.

I called there and guess what. The bloody Shark vacuum I ran all over buying, trying to pay for here and get a store there to deliver it there instead of shipping it across the country to no avail, sending in the mail for over $30 postage etc... it was the ONLY thing she told my brother she wanted from him. I mean jeesh... she left the message to me, discussed with me the model on the phone, the shop next to her place, etc etc so she totally knew that she had asked ME and that I had delivered it... and that is the ONLY thing she told my brother to buy. Yes she now has TWO Shark vacuums. jeepers. Fortunately my brother is easygoing and bucolic so it is no problem. But he was like, hey mom, you didn't even give me a second choice! I guess she REALLY didnt want to risk not getting one. Dang.

My dad sent mucho Lindt chocolate. Good call. Knit hat, scarf and mittens for the THIRD year in a row, despite me pointing out i always wear the same one, and always black. Oh well, they make good gifts, or I can lend them to people. The hat is green, and knit too loosely to keep my head warm if there is the slightest wind, and the scarf is grey alpaca... I may actually wear it. But it makes me sad to get presents from people who have taken care to pick them out and they hang on a hook in the entry and gather dust on their nice handknit bodies. Dang.

He also sent this very funky design "Aerolatte" handheld milk frother (later: I tried it and it works like a dream! I imagine it would be great for mixing just about anything like a little electric whisk. very cool!). It came in a stainless steel "travel gift box" with a brushed stainless steel counter stand and a powdered chocolate shaker. Very cool esp since my cappuccino machine really only makes espresso... the frother is out of order since day 1. Very thoughtful. Yes, I gushed about this prezzie on the phone vs saying anything about the knit items. :)

Hmm, it is 1:26 am. I am obviously not getting a midnight visit from Disappearing Boy tonight. Dang. I had hoped he would drop by like last year. I called this afternoon and he said he might not come for supper, but rather later, and asked if it would be ok to sleep over if he came late (he has an hour drive to get back from here and the roads are shit). Haha! I thought.

Yes, Haha! Cuz I admit I was looking forward to drinking mucho wino with him and suggesting a roll in the hay. He couldve gotten laid! *I* could've gotten laid. Or summarily rejected. Who knows.

Yes, I admit I had a rather erotic dream about him last night (yes there was even bj action), which was interrupted (in the dream) by other people coming in to have a houseparty in the place I was housesitting, and the bedroom area was sort of an open loft with no doors. Dang. So I was hoping to pick it up in person.

Probably better he didn't show up. We haven't tried any hanky panky for at least 5 years, and that was just kissing. Oh well. He was a good fuck in 1988. hehe. (sorry, that sounded a bit crude. He was a joyously fun and romantic fuck in 1988 ok?... we SANG while doing it)

Ok, so no hanky panky. I guess it is good to know that I can still dig up a libido from somewhere though. Drat. If he lived alone I'd call, but I don't want to call after 11 pm at his parents'. poop.

Eat more chocolate wenchie, eat more chocolate!!

Well, that's it for Christmas eve folks!
I think I have to go now and draw my comics page for today. I was going to do it this afternoon at 4-5pm at the coffeeshop but it was locked. I guess he said 15 and not 5 when he told me what time they closed today. Dang. And the hardware store was closed at three pm as well.

Oh well. Maybe I'll draw the comic and then jerk off. It may be up there with evergreens to express hopefulness in life non? Isn't that some of the Christmas message?

Merry Christmas to you all,
including happy holidays,
or happy working during everyone else's holidays
if you don't celebrate Christmas
(waves at Onewetleg!! hi!!!)

hugs, wenchie.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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