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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Tuesday, Nov. 04, 2003 - 6:30 p.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Dog hair and Bear Finals


Here is your horoscope for Tuesday, November 4:

You talk your way out of the perfect opportunity. Chagrin grows out of relief. Maybe you weren't quite ready, but that fact might escape notice while you're busy kicking yourself.

Aggh. What a horoscope. This is the type of thing one should read the next day, rather than the day of... now I will wonder all day if every little thing I say "i dont have time" will the the "perfect opportunity" that I've "talked my way out of". sigh.

"Mom, pleeze take the flower off my head..." copyright 2003 Wench77
Right now I am sitting beside the vacuum cleaner, which I have taken out to get rid of SOME of the broken leaves and dog hair littering the floor. If there is something worse than being tired, physically crinkled, stressed, overworked and behind on everything, on a freezing rain with snow and ice pellets day, it is having to walk in on a floor full of broken leaves and dog hair. Nothing can be set down without it looking like a cookie rolled in cornflake crumbles and shredded coconut. mmm yum. Right now my umbrella is wet and has dog fluff stuck all over it.

Thus the vacuum is out.

Besides that, I have scanned, photocopied, wrapped up and sent off Bear, eaten breakfast around 5:30 pm, answered a gazillion phone calls, picked up more Halloween photos, and am getting ready to start in on the grey tones of the US contract. I am a day behind in that. I really wish tomorrow night was not a performance. We are supposed to be there at 8:30 pm, which is usually dog-walkies time. So working backwards, I will have to have eaten and finished dogwalkies by 7:30 pm, meaning finished working on the US contract by 6pm, add getting up at maybe 1pm, then email/mail/phonecalls, eat, walk doggies... so start working maybe 3:30 pm... This gives me a whole bloody 2 and a half hours to color the grey tones in 26 drawings. insane.

Red leaves green steps, copyright 2003 Wench77

I won't even perform til past 11, so I will be sitting in a bar from 8:30 til at least midnight to do one 4 minute piece, stressing that I should be home working, and AGAIN coming home after all that, tired and late, to finish the work.

Agh and double triple agh.

click to see enlargement, copyright 2003 Wench77
I was supposed to have finished everything by yesterday. So thought I had today to relax, Wed to clean house, get caught up with the bags of tomatoes, swisschard, beets, carrots, parsley sitting around the house that I pulled out of the garden, do laundry.

And then be done everything in order to be able to pat myself on the back and RELAX from 8:30 to 3am in the bar with my friends, being entertained with only a 4 minute performance to do.

Somehow that projected reality is not matching up to my real reality. Not at all.

And people say "have you ever thought of adopting?" Yes, and I thought of saving the wolves, which would now be "saving the Philippines Eagle, the whales, the mountain lion, the white tiger, the the the...." Somehow getting the rotten food out of my refrigerator and figuring out exactly WHERE all those fruit flies are breeding, seems to be more reasonable as a goal.

Which of course is why the decimation of the wolves, eagles, whales, lions, tigers etc continues. Because the rest of us are busy trying to find time to sleep and eat. The world has gone insane. Like it is more important that issue #13 of Ripley's Believe it or Not enters the world on schedule, than we actually sleep, eat, grow real food in real gardens, and give our time to the state of the world. Wacko. Oh well.

No Ripley's, no $. No $ no anything else.

Now the floor is vacuumed. I couldnt continue this entry after I was interrupted by the second call from charity in fifteen minutes. AAAGH! yes, yes, ask for more of me.

I guess this all is a compliment. I would not be overwhelmed with work if I couldnt draw and wasnt professional (yes, the phone just rang about another new contract). I would not be overwhelmed with charities asking me for $ by mail and phone if I hadnt first earned money a few years ago, and secondly been generous with it. This means I am successful and generous. yes. I would not have friends phoning to ask to tips on marbling paint on bar counters if I were not seen to been a artistic handygirl and generous with my time and knowledge. I would not have exes phoning me, if I were not forgiving and open. I would not have people asking me to do performances if I had no creativity or talents. I would not have dog hair and bags of swisschard and tomatoes if I was not a nature-loving person who surrounds with life.

There. That is my attempt today to turn all the demands on my time into positive thoughts about me. It actually works a little. But I think the vacuuming did more! Yay! I put all kinds of shit on the floor... the reference books I work from, my knees when I put things in the scanner, bags of books, art for fedex, etc etc... and when the floor is a morass of fall leaf bits and dog hair and dirt, I get very frustrated. yes.

Here are some images of the final Bear drawings. Click on the image to see an enlargement. Click on the "BEFORE" to see how it looked before it was finished if you'd like to compare. These are all copyright me, Wench77. If you would like a copy, the book will come out sometime in the spring. I hope you like them!:



Yo Yo! Thrills and excitement! I have been quoted, yes me! in this wonderful article about hosiery on BitchSlap, written by the wonderful Elizabeth F. Stewart on Yes, The Wench mentioned is indeed yours truly! Oh excitement and fame! yay yay!!

Well, off to the drawing table again! Ciao!

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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