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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Saturday, Sept. 09, 2006 - 1:52 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Woozy and In a Good Mood

ahhhh, I have just spent three hours with my new best friend, Polyprep 3. Ahhh that stuff is lovely.

Lubbly Jubbly....

And I feel a weeeeee bit woooozy...

did it say "use under well-ventilated conditions"?


Is my bathroom um, four by six feet, 9 feet tall and has a tiny window about a foot wide high up like rapunzel (her window, not her).

Well-ventilated. haha.

But dang, after all that scrubbing off of nasty latex paint, painted over shiny fake masonite-sheet tiles, I was going to prime the shit out of that bathroom. The next (kitchen and bathroom) latex paint that goes on there is going to STICK!! And if you can believe it, it is SEVEN years already since I planned to do this... scrub off that latex, prime and repaint. Sheesh. Time flies. Where does it go??

OK, I dumped the internet guy.

Why? Nothing about him on the date.

His extreme eagerness post-date. OK, he wrote me TWICE before noon the day after the date because I hadn't written or called to say I got home ok on my bike from the date.

Um. Mr. InternetDate... YOU were the unsafe variable in the evening,... I should be calling my reallife friends after I got back from the date with you to say YOU hadn't kidnapped or raped me. Not calling someone I had met four hours before to say I got home ok. And I am a big girl. I have been running around this city on my bike at night for um, 24 years now, without calling my coffeedates to tell them I got home ok.

Then Mr. InternetDate wrote another email in the afternoon lamenting that I had not written him back at work (I replied by clicking "reply" on the email he sent me inquiring about my homesafedness... who even knew that WASN'T his work email?).

OK no problem. But then he sent another email hey beautiful good morning the next morning... said he is thinking of me all his spare moments, and if he didn't have to work he would write me all day. Weird, given we never had a real email discussion or chat... only "hi, I liked your profile, wanna meet for a coffee in real life?" No chatting about movies, or how our day went, nothing. And at coffee we mostly talked about our relationships in the past... ie why are we on an internet date site looking to meet someone? And he related in great detail every job he has had since 1988 (when he stopped being a military fireman... haha, he wrote ex-fireman in the army. haha. That is like me writing ex-artstudent, since that is what *I* was in 1988) We didn't bond on shared philosophies, religion, jokes, books, movies, life goals, anything. We never even got round to hobbies. We just discussed the Davinci Code a wee bit.

OK, it was ok, but thinking of me in all his spare moments??? Hell, I was thinking of my foundations, my work, my comic page that is not getting done, and wondering if I will have time to eat and sleep, let alone vacuum the floor and wash the dog. I am so mundane. OK it is true, I was wondering if someone who has to ask "what does agnostic mean?" and who knows no gay people is someone I want to consider for a long term relationship. That sort of counts as thinking about him. But not in the same way.

So, I wrote, "please slow down, we just had one date. I would like a second one, but we don't know eachother at all. I take longer to figure out which winter coat to buy. Why don't we have another date next week?"

Remember I wrote this on thursday, not monday... so "next week" was only like three or four days away.


He wrote back he is stunt. I think he meant stunned. That he thought we clicked. That he taught that since I allowed him to kiss me we were checking out if this relationship was all we hoped it would be.

hahaha!! Let's see. This guy is 44. Yes, a year older than me. Since I skipped a grade, he would have been in the same school classes as me. Sure he has been with the same woman for 25 years. But dang, even when I was 14 or 16, "allowing a guy to kiss you" (not to be confused with actively kissing the guy back or being the initiating party yourself) did not confer "betrothed" status with an eye to til death do us part. Really not. Sheesh. Even at CandyCane Disco, you got to dance THREE times, not once before you were expected to park with the guy. Sigh.

And yes he said he "taught"... I think he meant thought. Now sure he lives in Quebec, but he has lived in Ontario, ie very anglophone, for years and years and years and years and only recently in the past two or three years moved back here. I guess he is stunt.

Sorry, yes i am picking on his writing.

But dang. He took his profile down and is putting all his efforts into me... after ONE COFFEE DATE!!

And my offer to have a date next week?? "that's an eternity... anything could happen... I arranged my schedule to be free for you" he says. Um. Let's see, Mr. InternetDate... do you not remember me talking about not having time to do my paying work because of all this foundation contractor submissions shit? And showing you photos on my digital camera (scroll down) of the bathroom renovations I am in the middle of? And saying how tired I am cuz I am so busy? Did you ask if I had time in my week for someone I had already had a coffee with on Tuesday, but hadn't even known EXISTED on Sunday? Sheesh. On Wednesday I had a publisher's book launch. On Thursday, more contractors. On Friday an engineer. On Saturday, renting a communauto to drive myself and another woman to a women's night out that was planned out in the suburbs a month ago. On Sunday, possible overnight visit from SF friends. Sheesh!!!

I think granting a second date on Monday or Tuesday IS putting you into this week's schedule. yikes.

So um, yeah. Byebye Mr. InternetDate guy.

Next woman... ASK her if she WANTS a second date before removing your profile and rearranging your life to spend every free moment with her. When she says "I'd love to, how about next week?" try "Lovely, which day works for you? What would you like to do?"

And I bet it will go better than when you talk about how you imagine her in your kitchen (yes in the suburbs) cooking already.

It could happen, the kitchen, the suburbs (ask ob), but not if you railroad her into things cuz she "allowed you" to kiss her.

Egads egads egads.

So sorry Chaos, I didn't give him any more of a chance. IF on the other hand he had said "hi! I realize how busy you are, why don't i come over and give you a hand applying a coat of Polyprep 3?" I might have said "oh darling, pleeease!!!" hahaha!! See, he COULD have had a hot date on Friday night. If he'd played his cards right.

On other news... $370 tax included for an engineer to come inspect my foundations, and another $250 plus taxes to have him make a written report with diagrams... money WELL SPENT!!

He says I do NOT need to pilon the house now. I should WATCH those fissures, and measure them every month and IF the building moves DRASTICALLY it MIGHT be something to worry about. But he says right now the foundations look great. He says yes it has settled, which all houses in the neighborhood had... he showed me similar cracks on other houses, and said that as it is, it will NOT devaluate my house if I sell, NOT be considered a hidden vice.. just, like every house in the area, something to be aware of... it is built on clay.

He DID give me great suggestions so that the dirt holding up the house doesn't dry out too much since they dug a basement under one half of it in the 50's: put polyurethane sheeting on the crawlspace floor. Buy a humidity guage and just use the dehumidifier to take the humidity down to between 50% (good for living in) and 65% (above which mold will grow), but no lower, or it will dry the clay. He suggested I buttress the unprotected clay wall holding up the center beam by pouring concrete between it and an angled sheet of plywood.. something I could do in a weekend with little hassle... A FAR cry from the $7500 before taxes least expensive solution proposed so far, to excavate all under my center beam, pour footings and put in pillars. He said I could do that to be sure, but it wasn't necessary unless I measure the beam and over the next few months it is sinking down.


NO excavation, No curtain walls, NO new french drains (though I could get a plumber to put the sump pump's outlet into the sewer instead of pumping outside), NO piles, NO demolition of my balconies or risk of breaking my (old) water entry from the city. hahaha!!!

And NO remortgaging the house for $50,000 more!! hah!!


So, my mood is GREAT!!

And I painted on my work this morning, and on the building all afternoon.

And now I am woozy and going to sleep. But wanted to make an entry first (see, I DO remember y'all when I don't have anyone to cuddle with!)


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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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