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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Thursday, Oct. 28, 2004 - 4:50 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Tax Report Up, Earnings Down

Hey there.

The good news is that I just finished my quarterly state tax reports. The bad news is that it is 4:50 am. The good news is that I only owe them $79 cuz I have spent so much on taxes that they pretty much equal the taxes I collected (yay, we are all tax collectors, us self-employed and small business people). The bad news is that I earned $450 last month. (That is about $346 US for you americans.) Dang. And this month I have billed only about $1500. My watercolor class alone was $600. Dang. And I paid my dad $600. (not to mention the supplies he used). Do we see a minor problem here? Dang again.

I just calculated my income at this time last year: Last year I had grossed $11,000 more by Sept 30. And I projected what I have for contracts now underway, unpaid or to come between now and Dec 31. I will probably earn $15,000 less than last year. Shit and caboodles. Last year I grossed $40,000 less than 2001. Can we say slipping finances? zlllliiiippppp!!

Shit and caboodles.

Haha, tonight an old friend remarked on the phone that I was saying "cripey" for a swear word. I really have no idea where the caboodles, the dangs and the cripeys have come from. In May a friend in Toronto admonished me for saying damn, shit and fuck too much.

Somehow it must have slowly infiltrated my filthy little brain and whitewashed my vocab. Or perhaps only richer people can afford proper nasty swearwords.

Anyways, you were just DYING to know about my finances weren't you! And unfortunately, even if I do a MASSIVE postcard mailing to promote my work RIGHT NOW, it probably won't bring in contracts that will be billed before Dec 31. nope. And certainly will NOT bring in contracts that are PAID before Dec 31.

Let's just say that I will NOT be flying to vancouver to visit my mom for Christmas, and I am very glad that the Alternative Press Expo in San Fran is in April in 2005 and not February like this year. I MAY make enough money to go.

Now if I could only get people to pay me for reading my comics. Since April 9, people have read for free 100,000 pages of my comic online (yeah, for some reason it has taken off by wildfire in the past two weeks... thanks to someone on livejournal, and another couple blogs and a banner program I paid $20 for). That is the equivalent of 1041 of my 96 page comic books. At $15 apiece, that would get me$15,625. Ie totally make up the difference in income between this year and last year in my budget and get me out of the red.

But unfortunately or fortunately, reading on the internet is free. Who am i kidding? Those people wouldn't have paid $15 to read 96 pages. Sigh.

I gotta work something out. Brainstorm brainstorm. Anyone got any GREAT ideas??

Oh, aren't entries fun when they come right after tax reports!!

On other news today, That guy Eric Grenier, the lovely boyfriend who beat the four year old Sasha Vallee, the adopted son of a Quebec woman... has been found guilty of second degree murder by a jury. YEAH! There had been all sorts of "reasonable doubt" arguments... such as maybe the beating that killed the child had been actually delivered up to a day earlier and not at the hand of Mr. Grenier. However Mr. Grenier had vowed to "teach that kid" during his babysitting. Had called his ex-wife several times to express concern that the kid was acting weird, that he had hit him, that he had stopped breathing etc. And the ex-wife said she heard a sound behind him that sounded like a small animal whining in pain. Nice. Anyways, he will probably go away for a long long time. Minimum 10 years, max 25. Yay. That poor small little boy though. More background on the story in my Sept 25th entry, here.

Dang... here I thought I'd get some fun pics scanned in for y'all tonight... I got another film back with great photos of walking along the St-Laurence (it's a seaway yeah, but looks more like a river) in Verdun. But I have to get to my watercolor class tomorrow... My supposed "composition" looks absolutely the shits, but I guess that's the point isnt it? I experimented a lot, and dabbled and scribbled and dripped and rubbed and it looks horrible. But individual parts have wonderful interesting textures and colors. Unfortunately it is 22 inches by 30 inches or I'd shove it into my scanner. Maybe little bits and you can get an idea. Or maybe tomorrow in class I'll paint something bogglingly gorgeous. yeah. that's it. If I can only get my butt out of bed in five hours which is when I need to be up.

Ok, no one is gonna read me anymore. I have replaced cultural rants and tearridden confidences with politics and finances. Sheesh. What is this world coming to? And I was even too tired to be funny. Oh well.

I'm off to zzzzzzz

nite nite,

me, wenchie.

Here is my horoscope for Wednesday, October 27:

Don't be afraid to shop. You'll be frugal, wise and extremely tough to bargain with, which means you'll undoubtedly have what you want at exactly the price you'd like to pay.

BWAHHHAHHHAHHHAHHH!! don't be afraid to shop! Hell, I'm gonna start eating old jello pudding bequeathed to me by my mother four years ago, I am, instead of shopping. Frugal and wise. hahahahaha!! How about the pocket is tightly zipped. The price I want to pay is ZERO. nite nite.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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