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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Monday, Jun. 28, 2004 - 7:27 p.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Election Day in Flamenco Shoes

My hollihocks have come out. I pulled them all up a year or two ago cuz they get all mangy. But they are up again, and I didn't have the heart to pull them once there were flower buds. They are a sort of hot pink. It's kinda nice and goes with the peonies which are just finishing.

I am trying to convince myself that it is ok if I fuck up Carmen on stage. If I lose my balance on these stupid shoes (yeah yeah, they are lovely girly shoes, but I lose my balance when i twirl in them) and then lose where i am in the dance. If it shows that I have been not practicing cuz I am so busy and there is no good place to practice. I am trying to convince myself it will be ok, cuz if not i am just not going to go up there at all. My perfectionism is showing. I only like to go up there if I know what i'm doing and don't fuck up. damn.

I put on my skirt and all and practiced in the alley this afternoon. It doesnt work so well to slide your feet and twirl on concrete. It eats up the bottom of your dance shoes and the pebbels and cracks in the concrete etch big round spirals in the bottom of the soft leather. It is sort of pretty I guess. Just another example of how dumb physical happenings can create beautiful patterns that look as though someone drew it with a spirograph.

But it is fucking up my shoes, and it is even WORSE for my balance, twirling on concrete with holes and pebbles and bumps. I think I amused the neighbors. Fortunately I had on my red bob wig so no one recognized me.

And yeah, I wore the red bob wig as a disguise to buy a flamenco fan at the Spanish Library store. And a cute little short dress. It worked. The guy looked me up and down, smiled and served me right away. I played dumb and girly. I pretended I was going to start flamenco classes. I didn't see any broken fans in the box, so they couldn't blame me for breaking any. They seem to have gotten an order, cuz when i picked a fan he didn't give me that one, he opened a whole box of fans and gave me a new one. Also I know now. Do not flip open the fan in the store or you will get yelled at "you will break fans! violent violent!!" So I did not flip open any fans and I got one without being thrown out and the man actually serves femmey girls instead of ignoring them like short haired girls in jeans. hehe. Big surprise. So now I can actually practice with a proper 12" fan instead of my little chinese one. Poor little chinese fan, I was so proud of it when I first got it!

Well, last night I DID get my comic done by 8pm for my online site. Did it go up online? no it did not until today. Cuz the server was offline. Not Diaryland, not the comics site, not Google, no... by the time all those go "connection not made" you realize it is YOUR server. poop and fart. So if anyone looked for the comic before this afternoon, THAT is why it wasn't up.

Mmmm, I also voted today. I just wore regular jeans and tshirt for that. You get served quickly and with a smile at the voting booth even if you don't have a red bob and short girly dress. Yup. God I hope that the Conservatives don't get a lot of votes. I hope people don't forget that the Conservatives are NOT the conservatives but they are the Alliance/ Reform Party grafted onto the Conservative name. oooh oooh, they just said that the Conservative vote is DOWN in Atlantic Canada. It appears people who are unhappy with the Liberals are voting NDP. ooh ooh ooh! So excitiing!

I talked to a couple friends today. They are voting NDP for the first time, cuz they feel that it is showing strong enough with Jack Layton that they are voting with their heads and hearts for once instead of strategically. Yay yay yay! God I hope this election kicks the new Conservatives and Harper in the teeth. The guy frightens me he does.

Well I am blathering. I must walk the doggy, buy some pasta (how can I live without pasta?)

Damn damn. I forgot to buy dog food. So I must buy dog food and pasta. This is not so good. I will have to buy nonstandard doggy food and she will get the runs tomorrow. Damn. And little fishes.

If you're reading this and Canadian, please vote. Please don't vote for Harper. They want private medical service, and a bigger military. They want no gay marriage (for people like yours truly) and they want no abortion choice. They want big business and religion in government. They are a going-backwards fundamentalist right wing party. Please think about tolerance of different people, including those who aren't white Christian businessmen. Thanks.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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