Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing
Wednesday, Sept. 14, 2005 - 10:20 p.m.
WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.
Sometimes I just....
Sometimes I just hate myself.
My father does something once again stupid, hurtful and just mean. OK well-intentioned, but inappropriate and hurtful.
and then I go and bitch about it, and tell someone loudly in the street.
And think, I am badmouthing my father and spreading all my shit to the wind so all the neighbors with their windows open at 10pm on a hot hot hot night can hear.
I have no sense of boundaries I swear.
I feel like a whiny bitchy shit.
With an idiot for a father.
Sometimes I just hate myself.
And then I hear him screaming in his bitch twisted up hateful horrid face "grow up wenchie grow up wenchie grow up wenchie" and instead of feeling grownup I feel like I am a 2 year old crying and that makes me feel he is right and I feel like sinking into the ground in despair.
Sometimes I just hate myself.
gotta walk the dog.
why are people so mean.
wenchie
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previous meanderings - future past
Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009
