Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Thursday, Jul. 01, 2004 - 4:27 a.m.

Mmm. Here I am vegging out, smoking a strawberry hookah (hehe bad me, the throat has only been fine for a day or two and I am harrassing it again), drinking a corona (yeah, I bought two last night and only drank one so I only have one tonight... a big drunk. I wish I had three though) and eating left-over guacamole ... left over from the nachos I just noshed on. .mmmmm. nachos.

All because when I walked the doggy, the pizza by the slice place was already closed. If I hadn't stopped to chat for over an hour on the sidewalk with the owner of Sherpa, a 14 yr old (amazingly!!) Pyrenee des Montagnes dog... they sort of look like a white Saint-Bernard. I have bumped into Sherpa and his owner since my doggies is a baby. And now they are both rather decrepit, so we talked glucosamine and anti-inflammatories (he recommends this new once-a-month injectable that costs a third of what I am paying for the oral ones), vets and doggy carts. He wants to get one or make one for his dog too. He made Sherpa get out of the car, and the poor doggy is doing great but for his back legs which just give out. He lives on the third floor too, so has to help the big doggy up and down the stairs. It is heartrending. But 14 is like 100 for a human. wow.

So no pizza slice, but I shelled out for the nacho stuff. mmmm.

And while I am here smoking and drinking (damn, the stuff makes me think of sex. I try not to think of sex) I am looking up headscarves, hijab and non-muslims. Ob and I bought these headscarves in the Muslim area of Detroit when we were out shopping. And I look damn cute in it. When we got to SF I wanted to show her Mme, but ob nixed that saying it was an "issue"... I think that apparently it is not a thing to be "played with" out of respect.

Well, I am thinking of wearing it around to see what the reactions are. And was wondering about this "respect" issue. Here is an article I found about Scarves for Solidarity at the University of Tennessee. Apparently the non-muslim women started wearing scarves to support Muslim women and show solidarity as Americans not blaming the Islamic believers for 9-11 etc. I think it is a great idea.

Here is an article about them doing the same thing at the University of Conneticut. And the same thing at Wayne State University Detroit campus. Hijabs were donated by a Muslim store in Dearborn, MI, and various individuals. It seems that Muslims were actually appreciative vs offended. That is cool to know.

Here is a wee discussion thread about a white non-muslim girl wearing a headscarf.

Here is an interesting article called "War of the Women written by a woman who is very pro-hijab, pro-purity for women. She has an interesting point of view, presented intelligently but rather disparagingly, and with a few loopholes:"you can tell a hypocrite because they get ugly in a disagreement" "some of our pure islamist sisters sometimes are not as gentle and sisterly encouraging as they could be, but it is a result of always being on the defensive"... strange how feminists who the writer attacks fiercely, are shown to be impure by being not nice in argument, but pure muslim women are that way from being on the defence. She also disparages muslim men who rush off to marry vulgar western women, at the same time as asserting that men always prefer to marry a pure woman. Which is it?? Anyways, another point of view.

Here is a very interesting (boy I need a better adjective than "interesting") page that encourages non-muslim women to wear hijab, and other muslim clothing, in the name of being taken seriously, and removing the private body from the public eye. I must admit that in both this and the previous "war of women" articles, what struck me was the SIMILARITY of attitude to 1980's feminism. Where the wearing of baggy shirts and tshirt, lowslung jeans and other non-sexually revealing attire was promoted. My mom was rather depressed by it. "you USED to dress nicely" she'd say. Interestingly (there is that word again!) many of the lesbian feminists who didn't want to attract the male gaze, and so wore rather unrevealing clothing, spent a lot of time and energy on having nice haircuts. The desire to look good somewhere and have some sexual attention.

Yes, it may be "freeing" to break away from the male gaze. At the same time, often what is put down is not the sexuality of women, but just the femaleness. Nuns have been raped. Covered girls can be attacked and beaten, or sold off as sex slaves. One article I read tonight pointed out how few rapes were reported in Egypt compared to the USA. Well, in many places the victim is charged with being in the wrong place, the wrong attitude, the wrong company, the wrong clothing. Why would she report to authorities that she was raped, and be raped again by the system? Also many countries consider accusing a man of rape a horrid thing, and the rape accusation must be backed up by the testimony of male witnesses. Now how likely is that? If there are five men on your side there to watch, it is unlikely you'd be raped in the first place. If there were five men there and you were still raped, well, it is unlikely that they are your friends and will testify on your part. If they were on your side it is unlikely the guy would rape you in plain view. jeesh.

In places where you are unlikely to be out without male excorts, it is unlikely you'd report rape. Since the ones likely to be doing it are your relatives and escort themselves.

On the other hand, do western men love ya and leave ya? yeah, but so do western women. I don't know. One page I read said that Muslims should be aware of comparing IDEAL Islam with REALWORLD western culture. That indeed is a sin we should all be aware of. yup.

Here is the Al Amirah Hijab collection if you want to be fashionable. Warning... slow loading page since there are tons of images.

MMM, another interesting concept that came up in my evening of hijab reading is that of modesty. Pushed, can become "false modesty" or vaunting one's modesty, denigrating oneself in order to appear better than others by appearing more modest than the next person. The woman who wrote the piece on War of Women should consider that concept. The sort of competition of who is the least pretty, the least worthy etc.ends up becoming yet another competition to come out on top. The holiest of the holies. The most righteous in the eyes of the Lord. mmm. yes. One can practice oneupmanship in the most virtuous of ways. mmm.

Well, I would suspect most of you by now are tired of my links and musings.

So i'll just end with, my flamenco recital went well. My friend Hotsauce gets major supportive friend points for being the only one to come. He said the first half where the teacher shows all the dances in the classes, and the dancers are dressed in black, was too long. But the second half with costumes (that is the part I danced Carmen in) and which was accompanied by a flamenco guitarist and singer was very good and entertaining. Personally I thought it looked great and am proud of everyone who worked so hard. I can not speak for the Carmen, since it is pretty much the only thing I didn't see,since I was in it. My legs were shaking. I will still say I STILL have stage fright. It is ok, I didn't totally fuck up. I got a little shaky and mildly flubbled a step here and there, but kept smiling, which is important eh! So I lived through it, and looked ok. Hotsauce said I was fine. Even under pressure (I accused him of lying). He was corroborated by a few other witnesses, so I guess I WAS ok. The photos will hopefully show something. They should be back by Monday or Tuesday, since we have Canada Day and then a weekend.

Incredibly enough, practicing about THREE MINUTES before we went onstage, I backed up into a bystander with my fan, and broke it. Yup. My new fan I just bought that I had to go incognito to buy. Broken crunch. ouch. Fortunately another girl was using a special fan belonging to the teacher and so she lent me hers. Whew! But I couldn't believe it. Crack. Dead. Fans don't fan well when the plastic supports are broken.

Well, this is the end of this LOOOOONNNNGGG entry. Have a good night (oh, day!!) and leave me comments about what you think of a non-muslim wearing a headscarf in public. Thanks.

hugs to me, da wench

ah, I also forgot to mention, today was my first box of organic veggies! yay! they've been victims of the same cold wet weather as we in the city, so it was mostly alfalfa sprouts, eggs (hehe, I already had a dozen), lettuce, some radishes. Also dried "ortie" and parsley. I'll have to look up that dried "ortie" stuff. tah! ....ah, it is nettle! who knew! Apparently makes a good tea that will cure what ails ya.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009

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