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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Thursday, Nov. 10, 2005 - 4:45 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Oh dear, we've discovered Horny again

Well, remember when I had um, no sex drive?
Oh wasn't that lovely.

I remember not so long ago thinking it may be possible to find it again, but not very probable.


Well, yes, I went over to artsyguy's place the other night, in fact I think it was last night. I took over the jar of greentomato ketchup that I gave them the night they came over for dinner (artsyguy and his son rollerboy), and they forgot on the kitchen table. I had already given them a jar, and they said it was so good that it was half gone.

So I dropped by last night on my way to the coffeeshop to draw, just to give them the jar.

Well, I ended up hanging out til 12:30am. yikes!

Rollerboy answered the door and said his dad was sleeping, but as soon as the door was opened, he ran off: DAD DAD ARE YOU STILL SLEEPING? DAD? WENCHIE IS HERE !! (haha, good thing that is not my real name. Seems weird to put in the mouth of a 12 yr old kid... wenchie)...

anyways, since he was yelling in the livingroom I went in.

well, he was sprawled on the couch yawning, ......



and his exgirlfriend (ex?) was sitting on the end by his feet. hmm.

I had forgotten how straight girls give eachother the look... "is she interested in the guy tooooo???" urk. Maybe I am making it up and I'm paranoid. She was nice and said, Hi wenchie. hello.

She left soon afterwards........



after kissing both rollerboy AND artsyguy goodbye.... on the mouth.


What can I say. I still kiss MY ex disappearingboy, with tongue.

Doesn't mean I'm not available.


Who knows.

No I didn't ask.

Instead I watched rollerboy do pushups for his scoliosis (he pulled up his shirt to show me... the kid is all bones and muscles), watched them roll around on the floor, watched artsyguy do a demo of the chinup bar in the doorway, and rollerboy climb up the doorway with his bare feet. Watched artsyguy do a pushup or two with rollerboy lying on his back. (egads!! MALES!!). Lots of tickling, laughing, dangling upside down. Very physical and funny. I even tried the chinup bar myself (I could pull myself up ONCE) and did a pushup or too.

Rollerboy went to bed, and artsyguy showed me his music... it really is very good. He writes it himself, and then does multitrack recording with his guitar, drum loops, does all the voices etc. He was working on a Nirvana type piece, and also got me to listen to a piece that I said would be great on the beach in the summer or driving down a winding road on a day off... he said to listen to the lyrics... it was about a guy who waved a fist in his face, not letting him on a crowded subway train. That was interesting dichotomy. mmm.. It was fun to see the computer program playing the music across two screens.

Anyways, I see what he means about him spending his off time recording music, not watching movies.

And what do you think? Is it promising for 'something happening' to be discussing tooth hygiene, including fillings, and looking at eachothers molars? How about discussing how often we wash our hair? And whether we get dandruff, or dry skin from showers and whether we use soap and on what body parts? It was a pretty funny conversation for me not even taking my coat off though I was there for three and a half hours!! I know that he takes a shower in the dark sometimes and if he uses shampoo and where. Cripey! Too funny.

He offered me soymilk. mmm. He has nice hands. He paints. Well. Realistic.

We talked about parents. And parenting.

And then when he was showing me something else, he was close in front of me with his arm out, and I was trying to smell him.

Oh dear.

And now I have been horrifically horny all day.

I have been having explicitly nasty thoughts.


And I got...



A kiss on each cheek when I left.

How quebecois.


He did say he'd make me a cd of his music when he fixed his new puter.

I am 'the neighbor, wenchie'.


His son knocked on my door today after school, asking if his dad was here.


No, of course not. He has never called me even. Though they did come for dinner when invited.

Turns out his artsyguy told him that I made a funky cool drawing board for my comics that I carry around. Yup.

So I made him one.

He was happy.

Maybe one day the dad will come over instead.

Or I'll get a kiss on the lips goodbye.

I dunno.

Maybe he's taken still.

Maybe I'm not his type.

Maybe I should dress better.

Maybe he thinks I am easy to talk to and a great friend.


I should just NOT make the first move.

I always make the mistake of making the first move.

Do NOT make the first move.


oh well.

Quite frankly, I'd like to have a bath, lay naked in my bed and invite him over.

I think that may be a bit um, forward.

I should at least wear lingerie.


ok, going to bed now.

I didn't finish my work.

bite me.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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