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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Monday, Aug. 30, 2004 - 2:07 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Busy Busy Sunday: Swingers Bars and BBQs

Ok, so a good sunday, though gosh I am tired. I am going to take up the US editor's offer on a couple more days to do the "wacky artist" contract I have... they had to go back to the drawing board for the text... they hadn't actually READ the text before sending the specs to me... and they wanted things like "image 2" high by 3" wide, showing the two paintings in the gallery"... and here is the description of the two paintings: "a couple of toaster overs with boxing gloves fighting in one pic, and several watermelons racing racecars down a city street lined with cheering animated hamburgers"... um does anyone see any difficulty drawing TWO paintings side by side on a gallery wall, within 3" wide with that kind of detail??

Good, so did the client.. they were like "oops! hehe, that is insane, sorry we didn't vet the instructions"... so I lost like a week to do the work waiting for feedback on what to draw instead. And they offered me $100 more and more time. yeah.

So now it doesn't absolutely HAVE to be done for tomorrow morning (ie Monday)... even though I DID use them as an excuse to exit the swingers bar gracefully... hehe.

I mean it was nice and all, getting felt up in a room full of couches and beds with sheets thrown over all, porn on the tv screens and halfdressed people feeling each other up, slow dancing, and fucking. It actually was way less gross than what one might imagine, and was actually a very relaxed space and very friendly... but did I REALLY feel like getting felt up and making out? Maybe a wee bit but only a wee bit. Hehe, I could imagine if I were still seeing ob, or some fun dyke, going there and fooling around in the company of so many swingers. One cannot really say STRAIGHT swingers since so many of the girls seemed to be into other girls, but also into a dick in each hand. Quite funny... I guess that is quite a normal thing for straight swingers. I didn't see any boy on boy action though. There DID seem to be a lot of couples, well, swinging. hehe.

I was there since that is where we did the "sexy performance" on stage on Thursday night... and I had forgotten to get the cd of photos of our LAST performance with M*idori way back in January, from the dj... so I went back tonight just before midnight when they closed. Seems that Sundays it is sort of "staff night" after midnight, so I got to see the bits as well as the faces of the staff. I DID get the cd.. .haven't looked at it yet though. Maybe I should do that right now.

They did have ONE complaint... that there wasn't enough bondage in the show we did... that they see fucking ALL THE TIME, that they are SURROUNDED by sexy at that club, and wanted to see something different, ie bondage. Hehe, and here Mid*ori was all into doing sex stuff on stage since it was a swingers club and not a bdsm club. hehe. oops! wrong.

I said well, I would've been into being tied up more, and less active, so if we do another show when she comes back to town (and she seems to love Montreal... the food and the shopping and the people too) hopefully we'll get into rope more. yay.

anyhews, I did see the ex-tenant to give him back his $1.80 cash that he paid (does ANYONE understand why when his rent is $418.18 per month he would rather make his checks for $418 even and give me the 12 months of 18 cents in cash in advance?? I mean does it REALLY make any difference if you write ".00" instead of ".18" when you write your check?? It isn't like not wanting to break a 20$ bill or something. Very strange. But I gave him back his 10 months of 18cents he prepaid. And he seemed a bit cooled down.

I said "I signed with the girl, she's fine, you'll have to arrange with her the move-in date, and you realize I wasn't angry you are moving out, but rather the manner you pushed me against a wall while I was asleep... twice?? that is the ONLY thing I was angry about?"... and he was like yeah, it's true, you didn't say I couldn't move out or anything. gee, yeah. ditzo.

So he is being a good boy and putting the closet doors back on and cleaning up the floor. There are a lot of holes in the wall from shelves, but the new girl will have to deal with that. The apartment I live in now was hell for that, since the previous tenants were musicians and hung all their instruments on the walls. I was pulling all them plastic screw anchors out left right and center and that really fucks up the plaster.

Anyways, now that he has stopped acting like an angry vengeful baby, he will put the check from the newtenant with his keys in the mailbox when he is all moved out. What a concept.

And then I went to the bbq at Hotsauce's... now that guy looks like all skin and bones! He has had some acid reflux thing for like a month now and can scarcely eat anything... while he made us marinated brochettes and caesar salad, he ate boiled eggs and tapioca pudding. eek! Poor guy! He used to be big and strong (he is 6'4" and Swedish) and now you just want to make him eat. I hope he gets better real soon.

I got to lug around the week old baby for about a half hour, and she was a great little sweetie (same baby as on Wed at my place)... she did get a little cranky at one point, but I turned her around to a nursing position in the crook of my arm and gave her the back of a knuckle to suck and she stopped fussing... my mommy friends were all like "omigod, look at wenchie knowing how to sooth the little baby"... hehe, I'm a big sister remember, then a babysitter, then the daughter of a neonatal intensive care nurse. One DOES pick up a trick here and there.

Now the funny thing is that Hotsauce lives DIRECTLY across the street from my first girlfriend and her partner... so I (and baby) got a house tour. Jeepers, they have an aboveground pool, and a fireplace in the backyard, and woodstoves inside. It looks sort of like a cottage, which I remarked upon, with wood panelling (not fake) on the walls... and firstgirlfriend agreed... hehe, She was always nuts about the cottage when I was seeing her. Even in winter we traipsed every weekend to the cottage, without running water and with woodstove heating. Also she has always been into water... was sailing when she was but a wee girl with a tiny sailboat of her own... and they have the St-Laurent at the end of their street, literally 5 minutes from their house... so she kayaks and canoes (see what I saw in her??)... she is all tanned and trim and looking great (hehe, but I'm glad we're not still together... this is the one who called me a pervert for wanting to get sexy at the kitchen sink... and she wasn't really kidding)... they are really suburban nice dykes I think. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so.

Anyways, she and her partner were invited to the bbq, as well as the moms of the baby and tiny girl, and quite a few other fetish people (not dressed fetish)... it was a fun but short time... first there was thunder, then there was suddenly this sound of LOUD HUGE DROPS of water on leaves coming towards us ... it was really funny... like an advancing swarm. We could totally hear it coming like a wave, so we ran like hell and mostly got inside. It has been raining since.

So the food moved inside, we ate, and I ran ran ran... I didn't even have time to have any of the chocolate cheesecake or strawberry shortcake.. poop! but the traffic was incredibly slow on the highway in the rain, and I JUST got to the advanced bondage workshop on time (I had to leave doggy in the car... no time to drive home).

The bondage workshop was very fun... mucho problem solving... the ties were not advanced, they were creative. She focussed on interviewing to discover intent... all revolves around intent. Do you want to immobilize someone so they won't thrash during flogging? So you can fuck them? To punish them? To create a work of art? and many more reasons....

She invited up a volunteer and he had a fun fantasy of being a naughty provocative schoolgirl, so we talked a lot about using rope to create femaleness... very interesting. We made perky tits out of pecs! Then we talked about emphasizing maleness, in bio men and in xx people... and learned how to do a rope dildo harness. We also did problem solving on breast bondage for different builds of women, and practiced doing a three minute interview.

Quite a fun evening.

And you know the rest.. .ie the visit to the swingers club.

And now I am quite zonked... this week has been crazy busy, what with doing the two math book posters, going out on Wed nite, performance Thurs night, classes Fri, Sat, Sun nites, babies visiting Wed, signing a new tenant, bbq... sheesh!

I think I might pack a hookah and watch more L-Word. I really am getting hooked, despite it being more flavoured tostitos than a good meal. And I think all the women they cast in that show got hip bone implants... I have never seen so many concave stomachs and pants hanging loosely off of hips. Almost no one here looks like that, not even the normal weight people... it is the coathanger person look vs the voluptuous look. Sporty Spice vs Baby Spice (or ANY of the other Spice Girls... really they were mostly all filled out except for Sporty)




ps, you can go back and see the wonky search strings people google to get to me (posted tonight).

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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