Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing
101 Things About Me
Do My Surveys
To Do List
To Buy List
Tuesday, Aug. 22, 2006 - 9:03 p.m.
Cost of the War in Iraq
WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.
Wearing me Down
Some hurtful things.
- Your basement is nothing but a giant litterbox.
- I don't know why anyone has cats. I'd just want one dog. Cats piss on everything. (I have two 6 yr old cats)
- You probably looked good in that when you were 16. (about my favorite worn out cutoff shorts)
- I don't think you should get another dog after yours is gone (when I said I was tired but had to walk the dog)
- We'll invite her for dinner with us cuz if not she'll feel left out (to his brother about me while I am standing there)
- If I'd known I didn't have my daughter that day I wouldn't have accepted to go (about me arranging for us all to go to my friends' for a big lamb-BBQ party in the countryside)
- You bought me a pareo for your house? It's just cuz you won't let me wear yours. It's not a present. If it was I could take it home. (my pareo was a present from my mother, has been worn twice and was freshly washed and I didn't want him to wear it between bath and bed. I bought him one esp for him for my place)
- The camping food for me, you and my two kids cost you $60 and you want $40? You gonna pay half the gas then? (I did all the shopping, food preparation, packing, and paid all out of pocket)
- Your friend looks like a nazi in that outfit. But then lots of them bdsm people look like nazis eh (about my best friend in a photo with me to go to a party)
- Oh, I imagined her much cuter (looking at a photo of ob, who btw is pretty darn cute)
- The event we were going to on a date tonight is cancelled? Cool, I can go play music with my friends. Why are you upset? We don't have to see eachother everynight! (said on a Monday when the last night spent together was Friday) (why does he seem to have NO regrets that something planned with me is cancelled, and no desire to do something ELSE with me in preplanned couple time?)
- You cry when you're upset. That's so childish.
- Really, you shouldn't keep learning to play "American Pie" on the guitar, wenchie, you should pick something else (day after I am proud of learning so many chord changes in American Pie and proudly showing off to him)
- This is some of your favorite music? Well perhaps it was ok to listen to in the 80's.(Yeah, The Lion and the Cobra by Sinead O'Connor, and the Legendary Pink Dots)
- You just agree with her because you want to suck up to your celebrity friend (I recounted something funny Mi*dori did)
- No I won't go camping with you on my holidays. I want to go alone with my kids (when he said he had two weeks off this summer and I suggested we could all go camping)
- You know you could stand to lose 20 lbs
- You know what is the worst thing about how you look? It is that you slump over and don't hold your shoulders back
- C'est plate discuter avec toi (it's boring/a pain/distasteful to have discussions with you
- You know, I don't listen to you most of the time.
- You have too much stuff on your cupboards. You shouldn't have your blender and toaster and coffeemaker there.
- You have too much stuff in your cupboards. You should throw most of it out. We have to lift something up to take a plate out
- Why would I come hang at your place? There is nothing to do at your place. [I have four rooms of books, cds, vinyl records, ceramic supplies, art supplies, drawing tables, leatherworking supplies, magazines, photos, a basement with a punching bag, sports equipment etc etc etc... his kids ASK to come here to play, use the punching bag etc)
There is more. Most of it less precise, less coming to mind now. Lots just criticisms, less hurtful. I should get rid of my cast iron frying pans, I should run the water a long time then put some in the fridge. I should eat my peaches so they don't get bugs (they had been there 2 hours). I shouldn't explain. I should tell him in detail. I shouldn't tell him, he knows. I shouldn't try to inform him so he will be independent next time, just answer the question. ...
It is wearing me down. Together with the lack of outreach and generosity.
Wearing me down.
6 People have left cute, callous or caring comments on the wench's wordiness!!
Leave yours too!!
Go to "notes" instead of comments
ps, you'll need to email me for a username and password
previous meanderings - future past
Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009