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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Thursday, Sept. 29, 2005 - 6:13 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Kissed a Boy and That Fixed the Day


I hung up on my dad and told him not to call, or fax or whatever ...actually I said that and THEN hung up... the wenchie, wenchie, wenchie wenchie was getting on my nerves. Not to mention the 'you can choose not to be angry when life gives you an anger invitation". God I hate that Angry All the Time book. Just think... you can be whatever sort of insulting disrespectful sneering ass that you like, and then just say 'you don't HAVE to accept this anger invitation".

Well, I accepted the invitation. It's not like we HAVE to choose not to accept the invitation.

And let's see.... what he said in the fax, among other things, was that it was NOT thoughtless to send me that book in with my birthdaypresent, AS my birthday present... NO, he had thought about it a lot, and knew I'd be likely to get angry (and no he doesn't accept any responsibility for that... I after all CHOOSE to accept the anger invitation, so it is not his fault)... so he thought he better put in that note explaining that chapter 3 about shame is good cuz his mom used to shame him....

So no, he wasn't thoughtful to put that as a birthday present... he was very thoughtful.

As far as I can ascertain, purposefully giving something as a birthday present that is likely or probably going to have a negative reaction, is very um, aggressive and nasty. So ok Dad, it wasn't thoughtless. It was just mean. Weird that I thought one CELEBRATES birthdays not corrects people's life faults.

So, byebye dad. Sad.

And had a rather bad time in the foster adopt class. Today they pointed out that they will actually remove a black baby from a white home if a black home comes available. Frightening. Yet another reason for me not to get matched with a child. They call it placing children with culturally appropriate families. Like the anglophone black kid with third generation buddhist Canadian parents educated at harvard have tons in common with recent francophone Roman Catholic immigrants from Rwanda, or from Haiti. sheesh.

And more rules and regulations. No inappropriate dress... always fully dressed, housecoats in the house, no sexual discussions etc etc. Yah. I hang out at effin fetish clubs. People there bring their kids to gay pride, and ride on the fetish floats and wear leather outfits with their kids. I wonder if that is worse than black nightgowns, which apparently are verboten. As is beach clothes when you are not on the beach. Be appropriate. No nudity... I wonder if musicfest is out... do you think a place where everyone takes off their tops when it gets hot, and everyone showers in the open in nature is verboten?


I got called on being TOO ASSERTIVE ASKING QUESTIONS in class... apparently some of the more shy people in the class said they felt that they didn't have the space to ask questions since I was very assertive. Funny, when she asked any questions?? three times, not a one raised their hand. Typical very typical. I have gone out with people like this. No one talks for hours. Then I get on a subject and chatter away. And they tell me that they never have a chance to talk. about for those four hours where NO ONE WAS TALKING? Oh well. So that was a bummer. No black kids, No black nightgowns, No assertive questions.

Anyways, had a bad time over all that.

Had a talk with a good friend. Best to talk with people... when I talk with myself I drive myself insane, and I am very sane with other people. weird.

Hey! I kissed a cute boy!
A very good looking black guy... so it probably wasn't culturally appropriate.

he was doing these great stretches in the park. He is a champion kung fu practitioner, and teaches kung fu... he told me where... and he taught me some cool moves... a whole beginner stretch sequence with breathing and hand movements like a serpent and a tiger. He told me I'm a good student and follow well and am very flexible (I did a yoga stretch) We laughed a lot and talked about energy and tai chi and acting your age and a dog he had in Zaire. He told me I'm lovely, and yes I got suckered into a kiss. He took my number and wants me to come by the kung fu school and try a class. I said yes.

It was nice to feel funny and physical and friendly and relaxed instead of overly assertive and argumentative and a total reject as a good societal model for fucked up kids. Yay!

OK, so that's the news. And I got another job done tonight. Will be sent tomorrow to the client. Only $600 though. Half covers my Visa bill. heh.

nite nite!

copyright 2005 Wench77

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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