Saturday, Jul. 26, 2008 - 3:50 p.m.
Cost of the War in Iraq
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I am not succeeding at keeping self loathing at bay.
I don't have time to do anything and am barely keeping up.
I want to just sleep. And maybe cry.
How did I get here.
Where are my friends.
If I can hardly stand myself, why would anyone else stand me.
I have no hope really, for future relationships. I absolutely suck at picking people. Only fucked up people pick me. And then it is a mess and brings out the worst in both of us. Anyone who is nice and would get me in a different mindset and be fun and into things would pick someone else not me. Heck, they'd smile at me nicely in passing, nod their head and get on with their happy life.
Where they don't just loop self-loathing and every bad thing everyone has ever said to and about them, and fear it is true.
Like I said. I can hardly stand myself.
I am lonely.
Byebye for now.
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previous meanderings - future past
Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
*inspired by Chaosdaily