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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Saturday, Dec. 11, 2004 - 2:42 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Catching Up on Big Topics

Dangity dangity dang (that is the family friendly version of fuckity fuckity fuck)

Time is zooping by!! DANG!! I have to start my curried chicken rice casserole for the dyke/bi girl party tomorrow night (well, actually in about 17 hours)... mmmm. The thought makes me hungry!

I haven't really eaten supper... had a quick grilled cheese before running to Motorcycle Boy's vernissage for his painter friend (and I sold a whole TWO minicomics for a grand total of $4!!... lots of francophones who don't read english comics)...

And some almonds and brie cheese at the Illustrator's association vernissage of original artwork for sale, and xmas party. It was fun to see the many different originals of the illustrators on offer... one usually sees these things printed not the actual drawings. Quite a treat. Though I bought nothing. I cannot think of anyone in my life who would be happy if I bought them the work of an illustrator not me, as a present. Sigh! And there were none I NEEDED on my walls myself.

Oops... gotta check the dryer to see if I am heatshrinking my coat... not so good!!!

OK I'm back now. It is three am.


Do you know that in about twelve hours Onewetleg will be here? wow! so cool! And it is totally snowing outside. Winding and snowing. Well, not winding, wind-ing. Like blowing but blowinger. yeah.

Anyhews, there is about four inches of snow, and real snowbanks in places, and I hope it doesn't rain too much tomorrow and ruin it all before she arrives! She says she hasn't seen real snow since 1989. I cannot even IMAGINE such a sad thing! yikes! YAY for snow! CHEER for snow!!

Somehow things have been so busy I have not written entries about December 6th, which is the 15th anniversary of our horrible Polytechnique shooting of 14 young female engineering students by a misogynist young man who seemed to think that they had stolen his life (bad feminists let engineering be open to women)... And how that ties in with my brother's death three nights later. Yikes. So many things I didn't write about. Another day another time.

And then there is the Canadian Supreme Court ruling that gay marriage is in keeping with the Charter of Rights and Freedoms and the Canadian Constitution which guarantees equality under the law for all citizens. Of course the Conservative Party is raising a stink.

And someone was on the radio claiming that this was the start of the decline of the man-woman family. I am not sure how. Seems they are declining fine by themselves without gays marrying. And gays are living together and having sex and raising families already (one of the founders of the lesbian mothers association here in town told me they have um, what 250 members? or was it 450? Anyways, it was quite a few) so I don't see how them marrying will do ANYTHING to all them happy loveydovey men and women wanting to marry each other in their traditional men-women way. It basically only gives rights and responsibilities to people who are already involved with each other.

So weird how some people think that giving others rights takes something away from themselves. The man was like "well it devalues marriage". He couldn't say how. And he couldn't say how this devaluing would in any concrete way affect the marriage of women to men. Except that a man and a woman together is the right roles for men and women, and it is the right way to raise kids.

Hmmm. well, if gays marry, nothing will change. Men and women can marry. Men and women will divorce. Their kids will have parents together or parents divorced. Gays are already living the "wrong roles" and will continue to live the wrong roles. And their kids will continue to live with parents living the wrong roles. hehe.

I mean really... we are not talking about ensuring that all kids have a traditional family. If we were, we would outlaw divorce, or we would remove children from single parent homes and place them in traditional families, and we would take away children of gays and do the same. THEN we could talk about the kids in traditional families. But that isn't how it happens. jeesh.

Blah blah, I have said all this before. But it is on the news, and we are going the opposite direction from the States which I can only say is an excellent goodly thing.

Oh, a few small things.

I was wrong. Yes, WRONG!!!! WRONG WRONG WRONG!! I went back to the pharmacy today and they said "oh, your prescription said THREE tubes of TEN grams each, and we only have tubes of FIFTEEN grams each, so we gave you one, and then ONE refill instead of two... so actually you end up with THIRTY grams of creme with just two times of filling the prescription". I cannot argue with that. Nope.

So, there, I proclaim they explained themselves and I accepted the explanation and went happily off with my creme. Now what happened every other time my prescription refills were lost between August and Dec, who knows. That is still an enigma.

And here is my response to Boxx9000 regarding her comments about our FREE healthcare and the (alleged) incompetence at the pharmacy:

"Are you implying that having medicare means that people are incompetent?? These are not public employees, they are private employees. Actually private employees working for a pharmacist who is an individual, himself a private business within the private business of the whole drugstore chain. There is not a public employee in the lot of them. Even Canada Post is a public institution, but at the same drugstore, the Canada Post counter is staffed by private employees... they are staff of the drugstore, and work sometimes at the postal counter and sometimes at the photo counter. Anyways, weird that you should ask if that has something to do with our FREE medical services. It is not free. We pay off our paychecks into a drug plan, and our prescriptions are covered by that to a certain amount. For instance, this tube of medicine would cost me $21.47. The ammount paid by RAMQ (regie d'assurance medicale du Quebec) is $8.02 so I had to pay out of pocket at the drugstore $13.45.
So now I have a "residual amount" left on my RAMQ of $57.97. It is all on the receipt.Believe me the drugstore gets their $21.47. Just $13.45 comes from my pocket now, and the rest comes from the drug plan. I forget if you are american, but really, I don't think people understand the system at all. No free. People are paid. People pay. If I earned too little in a year, I would have less, or none taken off my paycheck when I pay my income tax, but it would still be just $8.02 off my $21 prescription. Believe me, when I was totally broke, I sometimes wouldnt get prescriptions filled cuz I couldn't come up with the amount the individual needs to pay. It's a drug insurance system that everyone pays into. Sort of like being covered for your car. You still have the deductible to pay. cheers"

Actually, there is FREE in our system, but it isnt for prescriptions, it is for visiting the doctor, the emergency room, the hospital, regular checkups, and specific prescribed procedures (not most elective procedures like a facelift, but procedures like a mastectomy or diagnostic tests like my laparoscopy)... For instance my fertility treatments were paid by me cuz they were done outside the hospital system... when I was trying to get pregnant only select private
clinicians would do the single woman dyke fertility help... ie I paid for the ultrasounds and injections since they were elective... and then weirdly the laparoscopy was covered since it was considered diagnostic and prescribed by my doctor, vs it being actually to get me pregnant, which was not prescribed by the doctor. hehe. So funny.

But basic treatment is free. You get the same treatment whether you pay alot of income tax or none.

Oh yeah, and someone else said instead of adopting a Chinese kid I could do some auntie thing with neighborhood kids or somesuch. First, I tried to be a Big Sister (that program where you are paired with a kid who needs a mother figure) and they have a waiting list of women wanting to do it... they wouldn't even take my name. They need men, and just badgered me as to if there were any men I knew who could be Big Brothers. Nope sorry.

Then I tried to go into schools to speak of homophobia. But was rejected cuz I am bisexual. That is another long topic.

And I want to tuck the kids in at night, read bedtime stories, make cookies, wipe their noses, I do NOT want them to go home to someone else. I do NOT want them going 'MOMMY MOMMY" when tired and hurt, and crying for someone else. I want them calling ME mommy mommy, and turning to ME!!

I already lived through all of that with my ex's nieces and nephews. I took them out places, hung out with them. But when tired they wanted their parents. I just sat beside them while they clung to Mommy or Daddy, and fell asleep in their arms. It made me feel very lonely and left out.

I want to be a parent, not a teacher, not an aunt, not the nice lady down the street.. yup. It is a different role. If you don't think so, imagine it the other way around. If someone wanted to be a teacher, would you advise them to stay home and have a kid instead? No. Because it is NOT the same role. cheers.

Ok, well, I am sure I have a gazillion more things to write on but I think my chicken may be boiling over. Gotta run again! tah!


4:11 am Dang... mixing up this Curried Chicken Rice Casserole and I am jettisoned back into Christmas. MMMM. Christmas. Now i need jello. hehe. And eggnog. mmmm. tah!

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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