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Music today: Dancing to Peaches and "Boots were made for Walkin" in French

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Sunday, Apr. 11, 2004 - 4:26 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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Fun Little Punk Trouble at Meow Mix

eepers eepers i am so TIRED!

People say "oh you have so much energy! I don't have so much energy!" but I bet they didn't get up at 2pm like me. hehe.

And then when I stop dancing and come home I am DEAD DEAD DEAD!! They just don't see it! hehe. Sneaky that. Only go out in public when you are not tired.

Well, last night there were so few people in the bar, it was hilarious. It was a great night, very intimate in a small basement bar space, with fewer than 20 people, audience and the 6 performers included, and me. I didn't sell any comics but traded for cds, a zine and a tshirt (which I wore tonight... it is royal blue with navyblue sleeves to the elbows.. that sort of baseball tshirt look).

But tonight at Meow Mix it was crammed full of people. Very fun. I was sharing a table with Sasha selling her glittery tasseled pasties, and the cds of the performers. It was a fun night. The performances were very fun. Sasha is a voluptuous femme who did oldtime burlesque. A piece with peacockfeather fans, another that was done with a strobelight to look like a 1920's film striptease. There was a piece done by another women where she is an ugly duckling (a highschool geek in a small town)... the story was voice-over "Stairway to Heaven" and then it changed to some song about loving yourself and thinking you're hot... some dance number la techno or Brittney Spears. I am so dorky I have no clue what it actually was, but it was funny... she started checking herself out in a handmirror and did a striptease sort of "voila I'm sexy and confident after all" with it. Fun concept.

There were also a couple dykeboi burlesque type things... one starting with a cowboy hat, jean jacket and jeans, which came off to reveal a sort of white elvis type of outfit, then got down to gold skivvies and pasties. Another piece "I'm going home" where she is a sailor boy going to meet her nurse girlfriend (home from the war and all). Cute stuff.

And Jen/ed, the spoken word performer (powerful and sexy) from last night and also Athena Reich, the singersongwriter who invited me last night.

I sold quite a few comics... got lots of great feedback (from people who had read my comics previously, or whose girlfriends are fans etc) as well as new interest... gave out a lot of little paper catalogues. Most people didn't have extra cash for purchases on them... just beer money! Quite normal.

And the dance afterwards was as fun as always. Fortunately I didn't have any bad "eek, that girl looks like ob" moments that sent me home in pangs. Though when the Peaches song that we danced to on the last night she was my girl came on, I had to fight back the tears. It is horrid how memory works that way. Suddenly I was transported back to a dance at the edge of the woods last summer, with ob dancing, the sexy adorable thing that she is, giving me THOSE eyes, and slapping her hand back and forth to the words "slap attack"... and corncob that she dumped me for standing off to the side watching. At that point I didn't know yet about plans to dump me, so I was fine and nice with corncob. Me and ob were dancing and flirting, and I remarked to corncob how beautiful ob was. Ah yes, that is what that Peaches song pops up in my mind. A whole surround experience. Dark sky. Millions of stars, girls dancing, dj stand. Sexy girlfriend who loved me. Sigh. So that was my "bad moment" tonight. It only lasted as long as that song and the next though.

Other than that, I was dancing queen. I had a great time. I was just dressed in that tshirt and baggy jeans (ironically ob's) and little black boots. dykey. Lots of people, chatting, flirting, dancing together with.

And unfortunately I still have a thing for little punks. Ones with mohawks, or other 80's style hair, black outfits, army boots, who dance like 1982. Ob was rather like that. And there was an absolutely adorable girl there tonight. She was at the girl's play party two weeks ago as well. I bet she's all of 21. EEK! She is totally like my ex-bestfriend in 1984 who I had a huge thing for. Then she was a possible lover and not a bestfriend yet. She had a mohawk and punky clothes. But I was 21 then, and she was actually older like 27 I think. Funny eh. And how I still think girls and boys that look like that are attractive, and they are 21 and I am 40. Scary.

But I swear that most people my age are pretty damn staid. Sigh. I ended up having her punch my arm, since when she got wound up a bit she punched her friend in the arm, who said "ouch, hey!!". hehe. And then we ended up dancing to 80's songs together and slamdancing. Not that many people will slamdance at 40. Now why is that?? I dunno. I suppose lots of people won't slamdance at 21 either, though the proportion is higher. It was very fun.

Other than that there were many many trendy femmey dykes. Yup. Very pretty. I am seldom attracted to pretty. Well, pretty boys! hehe. Or pretty butchy girls. But not so many butchy girls tonight.

I WAS amused however that my librarian friend's butch girlfriend started salsa dancing to some house song (oh god, who knows, maybe it was techno, or electronic, or whatever... it wasn't salsa, soul, or hiphop ok?!)... I have never seen her dance before... usually she sits and watches the girls quietly. But my librarian friend said "oh you just missed the salsa song, my girlfriend will dance to that, that's the only way she knows to dance"... and her girlfriend started to dance like that to this new non-salsa song... and she danced in time and very well and quite sexily.. so I danced with her a bit. And my librarian friend looked like she was going to die blushing. So very funny! I said, hey, you should be happy and proud your girlfriend is such a good dancer! hehe.

All in all a very fun night.

And now I am DEAD TIRED, old lady that I am!!


wench 77

hugs and goodnight.

Here is my horoscope for Saturday, April 10:

A secret will suddenly become public knowledge, and you may be blamed for it. Don't bother professing your innocence. The whole truth will emerge soon. In the meantime, keep quiet, and wait patiently.

That is weird. I don't think for once, that I said ANYTHING out of place or revealing. Time will tell. I'll keep quiet and wait patiently.

5:00 am Here with a purring kitty on my lap (very hard to type, she likes to lie with her front feet over my forearm), looking through Jen/ed's website, and yeah, it is really the "her" who comes through in person. She blows me away, very quiet yet passionately unforgiving in her politics, totally involved in activism and speaking out, teaches yoga in all its practices for a living. Says on her website that she says what everyone is thinking but no one dares to voice. Yup. I feel that way alot, but I need to learn to be more grounded like she is, more focussed and quiet, yet delivering with power. Someone to look up to. Hmm. Check her out, and her links to books, magazines and other activist places. People like this give me hope. Which is funny, cuz when I wrote that letter to the newspaper, those are exactly the words that unknown caller left on my answering machine about it. Hmm.

Weirdly enough this makes me even more sad about ob. Ob who is passionate about the world, vegetarian, hanging out in quiet eastern religious places. Ob of the zen livingroom and quiet times with blue lights. Where did that ob whom I loved go. Who helped me be calm and feel more grounded. I don't know. It makes me so sad.

As Jen says, namaste. people. tah. be nice to those around you. love and honesty.

And don't think it doesn't escape me, looking at Sasha in those femme Burlesque clothes, with her attitude and voluptuous body, that I'd once again have to fight her for the attention of ob. Jeepers. I really need to get me a girl who I feel wants ME #one. Sigh.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009

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