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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Sunday, May. 23, 2004 - 2:42 p.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

A Sunny Day and Microorganisms

MMM sunny warm day. So far I have washed hair, uprighted the fence (it is so sagging in the middle that the gate gaps at the bottom, and a small child came into the backyard, followed by about a ten year old, to fetch it, and they both got in and out of a locked back gate! eep! It was ok when it was just cats!

Put away all the toys from the girls playparty last night, swept the corners of the ceiling to get rid of all the cobwebs. Done a load of laundry of white: mostly curtains (black cats, white curtains.... uhuh..).

Taken the tomato seedlings outside to harden for a little bit (I fear that they have some virus or fungus since some leaf edges are curling... this gets me down. I still have not won the war against the plant bugs on my inside plants... I don't need tomato fungi plaguing my organic tomato seedlings I've been babying for the past 5 weeks!!! AAAAGH!)

And finished breakfast! Hehe.

Now it is time to walk the doggies. I'll be back with a better entry tonight.

Thankyou for all your kind words of my dismal entry on Friday. I admit I am still stressed in this sort of anxiety, everything is getting away from me, what was I THINKING when I pronounced myself a success to myself a year or two ago??, what the hell is the matter with those stupid sayings that say things like "if you try hard enough you'll get what you want" etc. Stupid stupid sayings.

Radiogurl is right when she says we can all at any moment have a change of fortune (thanks, that REALLY made me feel secure in what I've built up so far... not. hehe). And yeah, I realize that family is probably happy. I feel like the rich little match girl (is that an oxymoron) watching them.

That is all I ever wanted in life. A table with my lover and our child. Toys lying around. Making dinner, putting someone to bed in the front room and tucking them in. Hearing "i love you". I never ever aspired to an illustration career, or owning a 5-plex. So yeah, yay for them in their small happy apartment. And me in my big one with cobwebs and too many rooms.

Sigh, I can see that I am not making myself happier by writing this.

Shut up to me, and I will go outside in the nice weather and try to remember I am not having my family blown up by bombs, or starving on the street, I have all my limbs and my mind, I am not watching my children die. I am not homeless or dying of cancer or pneumonia.

And we shall all be prey to microorganisms one day.



hahahaha... I was looking at some online personals via a site owned by a friend of radiogurl's and what don't people like?? NEGATIVITY!! Am I negative?? hehe, I can forget to be for a few minutes if you like. I'll shut up now. tah.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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