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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Thursday, Apr. 01, 2004 - 4:16 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Wings Clipped by a Motorcycle and OWL at a Book Launch

Wow. I am just not going to start riding a motorcycle. I am pretty much decided. I took lessons in the fall of 2002, but didnt pass my test (I was doing great and then on the last thing... emergency stop on a curve... I skidded out which would have saved my life in real life, but got me disqualified on the test). I was going to take the test this spring.

But, yet another friend has bit the dust. I called my accountant today to make an appointment for her to do my taxes. And she asks, have you heard anything from Wings? (I'm gonna call him that, when in reality his name is very strikingly weird given he is a Christian and nearly died... imagine white feathered wings, not chicken wings with BBQ ok?? thanks). I'm like, nope, not at all.

Well, turns out he had a really bad bike accident last summer. No wonder I hadn't seen him. He is her brother, and that's how I got her as an accountant... his referral. He lives down my street a block... was always polishing one of his two bikes, so we chatted alot. A goodlooking French guy, very short (like 5'6 or 7), near my age, muscular build but small, very friendly and chatty. Nice guy. Wears a cross around his neck, and was surprised when I once remarked I am not a Christian... he obviously is.

I did think this spring "hmm, haven't seen Wings this year... seems he mentioned he was going to move, but he must be on his bike about now". Well, nope. He was in a coma for 8 months. They thought they were going to have to amputate a leg, but looks like he will keep it. He's been out of the coma now for about a month. Seems to recognize his friends and sister, but his short term memory is a mess. He calls her up all freaked out "I'm stuck in a bed and I can't move! Come help me!!" As if she doesn't know... she is there everyday for 9 months now. It is very sad. He was always intelligent and fun to talk with. They said before he'd never walk, and thought he'd be a vegetable, but now are saying "who knows..." But for now he is confined to a bed.

What a mess. I don't think he's older than like 42. Jeesh.

Another website I was looking at tonight, the guy died on a motorcycle.

And my comics friend Jonezie in London died last year on his motorcycle. Late thirties.

Jeepers. If I needed to ride one to get from A-Z, but really, it'd just be for fun. To get out of the city and drive around.

What scares me is not dying. When you're dead you're dead. I dunno. I got hit by a car and knocked out. No pain, no consciousness, didn't feel a thing. No out of body shit. Nothing. Just there, and then nothing.

What scares me is ending up like Wings... being in the hospital for months nearly a year with more to come. Amputations. Loss of memory. Necessitating family to care for me long term. Living in a bed, incapable of remembering what happened and where I am, let alone read or have projects, for the next 40 years. Shit almighty.

So much for the motorcycle, and all the "kick death in the teeth" bravado, the pulling up on a roaring machine to wow the girls, my helmet under my arm, and leather on my bod. Hah. Nothing sexy or bravado about a hospital bed, after the first three days of freaked out loved ones. Just the smell of piss and disinfectant and hospital food. My mom used to work in orthopedics. She hated the spring cuz the beds were full of young guys, who lost legs and arms, and broken necks and skulls, on motorcycles. gll.

Anyways, I cannot see that being a Christian helped him out in any way.

Here are some photos that hark back to previous entries. But you can see it took me like three weeks to finish the roll of film and get it developed. So bear with me.

Yeah, that's me at my comic book launch, looking chipper. And that is Onewetleg's little cartoon person at my booklaunch! Yay! Turn down the suck!

More photos of my book launch are in an older entry.

Remember I said that I was cleaning such things as my African Violets and my computer keyboard, which were both overtaken with cat hair and dust?? Well here are the photos.
The leaves to the left are already brushed... the ones to the right covered with cat hair, and that is the sort of velcro-y brush beneath them with the amount of hair from that ONE clean leaf to the left. eeps!

Haha, that's what my keyboard looked like with the keys all off. Ugh. 5 years worth of crotte. Now I should have taken an "after" shot! It is spic and span!!

And finally, this is just a photo from in my bathroom after the girls' playparty on Saturday night. I thought my little softie pink packer dick looked so adorable there on the green washcloth with the matching pink piglet on it. Don't you think? Hehe. Cutie cutie! I should put it away before I let some Fedex guy or someone use my washroom! heehee!

Well, that's the end of the photos for today. Yup. I'm now going to have a bath and eat a grilled cheese sandwich and look at the comic books I bought today: Melek by Montreal cartoonist Julie Doucet. It is actually a book of found photos from Berlin with drawings by her, in different sorts of prints (serigraphy, lithography, blockprint). Also Joe Sacco's new book The Fixer his book about returning to Bosnia, which I started reading at suppertime. Good stuff. And finally, L'Amateur a comic book in French by Caroline Merola, who is a cartoonist in Montreal, but also a children's illustrator who works for many of the same companies that I do. I loved the last comic book (graphic novel) I read of hers.

I was in the comic book store cuz I was finally taking my new book around for public distribution. It was worth it, since they paid me over $200 for comics of mine they'd sold since 1998 that I'd never gone by and gotten paid for. Thank god they didn't go under and disappear... I realize that I lost like $400-600 minimum on comics I had left on consignment at bookstores that went under in the past 5 years. My bad for not having gone by more often. Once I had a real publisher with a real distribution network, stores started buying from distributors instead of from me, and so I got just lazy about going around and let everything slide. Now i'm back in the saddle I am. yup.

Another "my bad", and also that of my bank. I am here to clear the name of the Educational branch of the State of Washington. Remember I said that their cheque had bounced? Well, turns out that me, silly stupid me, put it into the bank machine to deposit it, despite the fact that the bank machine only deals in Canadian money, and it was a US check. So the branch I put it into rejected it and sent me a slip that it didn't go through.

That was MY bad, but the silly thing is that the bank then deposited it into my US$ account and it went through. And didnt inform me. Duh. You'd think that if they were going to do that, they needn't have sent me a nasty debit note saying that it was rejected. So I called the Washington State people today and said "our bad, not yours, very sorry very sorry". Deary me. Well, the good thing is that my credit rating with the bank is still fine, and that I DID get my $300 US from them. Sigh. Beaurocracy and its Bugs.

Well, I keep gabbering, so I will stop now and run my bath water. I am finally getting my itchy foot with its red bumps on the sole looked at by the doctor tomorrow. Thank god cuz it itches and I feel like some contagious horrible thing. Wish me luck!

Nite nite!

hugs, wenchie

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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