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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Wednesday, May. 26, 2004 - 3:23 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Musing about Muses and Missing Screws

I just got back from Radiogurl's conversation with her writing muse. I think mine doesn't want bottled water, just a bit more dedication on my part.

Not for the comics, which I have faithfully been slogging away at, but on these Far North drawings. I have done two or three good pages, but in like a week. aaagh. I really AM meeting up with the lady at 3pm on Friday. aaagh.

I just had a fellow illustrator/cartoonist/writer/editor/publisher friend (yeah he does all that) over (he was returning books borrowed... like I need em back but hell they're mine) and he took a gander at the drawings.

He said the drawings were good, but lacked punch, original angles, vitality, that were in the drawings for the previous book by the same author, but concluded the problem is with the story, which basically enumerates the differences (and as he pointed out, pretty evident vs offbeat differences) between the far north and the city. And so there isn't much development of character at all, or emotions (well, the avalanche nightmare scene), or followthrough of subjects.

One drawing is of flowers in the north, and in the city. The next is of a willow tree in the north and in the city. The next is of birds in the north and in the city. Then people. Then dogs. So, every drawing is a different subject. This leads to a certain lack of cohesion or buildup. And also it means that the angles etc are not so interesting in that I usually have some sort of intro drawing so we get an idea of the person, the setting, the main dog etc, and then after that you can do wonky angles or show parts of the person/setting/dog and the person who is reading recognizes it from the part, and can imagine the whole scene from whatever wonky angle you drew it. But if you just put a hand, but we don't know who the person is as a whole, it is hard to visualize. Of course this can be used to add mystery... such as seeing a hand, feet, etc, and we don't know who it is, and then the story reveals later who it is. But this is not that sort of story.

Well, it is not so great that he agrees that it lacks punch. But good that he agrees with me that it lacks punch. Bad that I haven't succeeded in doing something wildly creative. Good that he thinks the problem is the text. But I still have a nagging feeling that it is my job to make the drawings great even if the text isnt.

Damn, how did I get into all of that?!

I thought i'd start an entry with "I feel farty and gaseous" hehe. Which I do. I have no idea why. I had parsnip chowder from my freezer and it has never done that to me before. And I made baking powder biscuits to go with, since I am still on the budgetary restrictions and thought I'd put off buying a loaf of bread by one day. (since I just spent $40 on postage, and $10 on photo development! hehe). Hmm. now that I think of it, perhaps my body is in SHOCK at the processed white flour, which it is unaccustomed to! hehe.

Well, besides burping, cramps, farting and all, i STILL have this nagging lung feeling (which didn't worry me til my Toronto friend said her asthma started with bronchitis) and off and on dry cough. I swear it has been months now aaagh.

I want to smoke the hookah!! And I don't want to screw my lungs over completely by doing so!!

Well, besides that, I was a BAD girl and didn't go to the second flamenco class (really, my class is Thursday but I started going sometimes on Tuesday if I'd missed a class, then to get better, and now it became a habit so I feel guilty missing the extra class! silly me!) nor do weights.

I am turning into one of those saggy skin old ladies with no muscle tone. Me, bench press queen! eeek! hehe. I haven't even been biking now that I don't go to therapy (wow, i don't go to therapy and I am not going insane!! hehe) skinny minny me!

BUT I did ink two pages of comics, I DID spend 3 hours calling up shops, and got three stores to take a total of 26 books. yay! That's nearly $200!! yay! And I sent info to another four, and several I need to call back (person in charge not there etc). A productive time.

Now if only I applied myself to my illustration work as much as to my comics. I should just stop stressing about this Far North book, realize it is not going to be a bestseller in any case, and get on with it.

The new dog book I will do (we'll call it Mangy Dog from now on ok?) will be GREAT!! Yeah, me the ARTISTE lalala. hehe, how I set myself up to disappoint myself. De standards are too high and I get de perfectionisssmmmmoo disease of procrastination. sigh.

Well, here it is still and again drizzling. Good work weather.

I really could use a back massage.

that's all.

No great drama, no great fears or hopes or sadness or cheer.

Hope y'all are ok

Tomorrow I'll scan in some of the photos I got developed today. Me in Toronto, the buds on my iris and poppy. Some other flowers from my neighbor's.

patience patience


me, wenchola bazola.

oh yeah. I also did dishes and bought and replaced missing screws on the dresser drawer handle and the cupboard door handle. yeah. now draw duh. hehe.

Just in case you need something wonky to read, here is an article from World Net Daily about how gay marriage is the last straw and real Christians want to leave the US with one state for them. hehe.

Here is my horoscope for Tuesday, May 25:

You are now officially capable of anything -- anything at all. Since you've been informed of this, please be careful where you point your unbelievable charm.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ooh sorry, let me rephrase that: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! I guess the astrologer was thinking I was some super funkola monster in that monster wars thing we've all been doing! hehe.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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