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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Wednesday, Oct. 13, 2004 - 4:43 p.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Not Heeding Storm Warnings will Not Change the Weather

Why can't people hear me when I say there are personality clashes and communication problems?

Once again it is going shit with a new woman I am working with. It is always the new ones who come into a job of authority. Self-defensive and take everything as an act of insubordination. If you ask them for something they don't reply, or reply obliquely.

If they don't know how to do something and you make a suggestion they act like you have attacked them.

It seems normal to ask someone for a fax number when you finish the sketches.
The new editor works from home and doesn't have a fax.
Mail it she says. But doesn't give me her address.

We won't meet deadlines if I have to photocopy everything and mail it regular post. Regular post can take a week across town.

One of the first things I got, working as an illustrator, ie sending images instead of text, was a fax. Before that I used the fax # of the copycenter next door. I have never worked without a fax cuz all my clients demand it. And she's an editor.

It seems not too unreasonable to ask someone to put subject headings on her emails.

"Thank you for the email. Could you please in the future put a subject heading so I don't delete it as spam and so I can reference them easily during the project?"

"That was a mistake. Sometimes people make mistakes."

(um, yes, i just asked in the future if she could put subject headings)

... three emails later, no subject heading.


"please draw one cover, one vignette for start of chapter, one motif to repeat in the text, 4 fullpage drawings, one motif for back cover."
"Do you mean one vignette for all the chapters or one vignette per chapter?"
"I want ONE vignette for start of chapter.".
"The format has changed? You don't want one motif PER chapter, ie 9 vignettes?"
"I think we are having a syntax problem. Motifs are not vignettes"
"How many small drawings do you want... motifs, vignettes, spots, whatever? ONE or NINE?"
"Like you did before"
"Ok nine"

... note this conversation took four days to come to this conclusion of one vignette PER chapter, not ONE for all the chapters.


And on and on.

At this point you know you are not going to get things done without explaining or asking three times. That you are going to have problems re syntax. That she really is NOT going to get access to a fax, even if you've explained that emails are great for one or two sketches, mail is great for a contract that takes months not weeks, and that fax service is available at copycenters if she doesn't own one.

You can see that every exchange has broken down and you want to scream and strangle her.

You call the boss and say "this is not going well, please give me someone else to work with". Nope. Apparently I can be impatient too.

Yes, I am recognizing that I am not the calm angel who deals well with obtuseness, yes, I am impatient too. And THAT is an excellent reason why I shouldn't be working with another offthecuff reactionary impatient defensive person.

It is kind of like if you say "um, these dogs will fight... yours is a dominant male so we should separate them" it is not helpful if the other person responds "well, your dog is a dominant male too".

Exactly. Two dominant males, two coworkers with short fuses.

But no. it is best to tell them to get along, and it will devolve to the point where you can point to both of them and say they are impossible.

The woman I have worked with there for the past 5 years is leaving. We get along great. And she is not impatient and reactionary. So even if I am, we get along.

My submissive dog gets along just swimmingly with dominant male dogs. Just swimmingly.

We can't all get along. Combinations are sometimes more important than individuals.

"doesn't play well with others"... maybe I can have that as a motif (or vignette, or spot)... except it is not true, just in some cases.

And I TRY to make it known when it won' t work. But they don't heed my warnings of what I can see on the horizon.

So much for knowing oneself.

Anyone want to be my secretary, or my porte-parole, or my negotiator? ob, you excellent "give em the finger in your pocket" type, where are you?

Sigh.
me,
yup, being myself.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009

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