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Music today: Patty Griffith "Living with Ghosts"

Quote today

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Sunday, Dec. 14, 2003 - 11:37 p.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Not Interested, but it's SNOWING!

Just an example of how I share interests with people who are my friends.

Take Sphynx, who has been a friend since 1983, with whom I spoke on the phone for a good hour the other day....

I said "have you read Lullaby by Chuck Palahniuk?"

Sphynx: "not interested"

Me: "You're not interested in him as a writer or you're not interested in that particular book?"

Sphynx:" I'm just not interested."

Me: "I'm reading "Self" by Yann Martel now"

Sphynx:" Not interested"

Me: "You're not interested in "Self" or in Yann Martel? Did you read "Life of Pi"?"

Sphynx: "I'm really just not interested."

Me: "So, tell me about how the true crime you're watching on tv helps you with the novel you want to write..."

There... did you see the huge interest in these books I really liked? Yes, the dying to hear about them, or see IF she would be interested? Nope. Well, this is a good example of why I love ob. I don't think we EVER had a conversation like that.

Not saying that my friend Sphynx is always like that. She listens to my tales of woe and has been a supportive friend mostly on and some off for twenty years now. In that time we have both changed alot and our relationship has gotten better. But this is the way I feel much much much of the time.

I go to the dog park and "not interested" would be even more polite than "you think too much" or the "you're one of a kind" that I get when I talk about Gay Pride parade, or going to the fetish club, or laws about lesbians inseminating in Italy, or mostly anything. I am the weirdo.

Even at the fetish club when I'd say that ob and I went to the St-Joseph's Oratory people were like "why?", and when I said I took photos in the cemetary for her they were like "who would do that?".

And the straight boys think I am too dykey, and the gay boys are at least sweet and friendly, but I have to dump my straight friends to hang out in the fag men's only bar. And the lesbians think I am too kinky, and the kinky lesbians have girlfriends, or are looking for a femme top, or or or or...

Or I am too emotional, too angry, too quiet, too daring, too not daring, too exhibitionist or not enough. Or I don't do drugs and they do, or I like kids and they hate em or they are morning people or or or...


Anyways, here is a quote from what I wrote in Sleepyzoe's notes:

thankyou. I feel like I should start acting with my diary like I act with my friends. Just not talk about how I feel, which is dumb. The point of my diary is that when I was missing her and wouldve spoken to her or shared something, I have someplace to put it, so then I can go on with thinking about something else in the real world. And YES I do think you understand. Even when I see my friends, they want to have a beer with me or whatever, not see my photos, or hear about my opinions or see the hundreds of drawings I've done... they want to talk to ME, and so this is my place 1)to moan and 2) to share. grrr.


yay! it is white and my doggy is all happy and excited. But in the park it is very very dangerous, cuz the ground was frozen when it rained. Huge puddles 20-40 feet across frozen like skating rinks, now covered with fluffy snow... hidden under fluffly snow. My doggies fell down and I had to help her get up. I fell down too, but my hand is ok. Then we were REAL careful. I dont know what I would do if I broke a wrist or a leg. I would be royally screwed. and I cannot carry my doggies home if she pulls her hip out or something... she is too heavy!!

I went to the grocery store and had fun doing a big shopping (over $100... all on special... two big boxes full) of grocery items for the Christmas boxes. It was more enjoyable than writing out a check. Yup. I bought everything from chocolate syrup to coffee, granola bars to spaghetti sauce, raisin cookies to hot chocolate. (hey, it's winter and Christmas!)... only stuff I would think, mmm yummy. yup.

And now the water is boiling and I will make my hot drink and work on the doggie book, if I can get kitty astrixes off my drawing table (she is usually on my lap while I type...non ergonomic!)... later..

Go check out Sleepyzoe's vacation entry now that she's back with us! Photos and more photos! yay!!

Here is my horoscope for Sunday, December 14:

It's all about you, isn't it? You certainly won't get any argument from the people that come to worship at your altar. Be responsible and honorable with the power that you hold in your community.

Well that is pretty good advice for anyone. yup. Responsible and honorable with the power that you hold.

My other entry from today is here if you feel like reading it. thanks.

Ya know, sometimes you just can't get chicken salad out of chicken shit.


I just had to add that... W2 wrote that to me tonight about someone on a list. And it made me laugh. yup. :)

Just another little hilarity tonight... i am SO good at procrastinating!!! Someone got me, and only me when they googled "penis patches" and "free samples"! ohmygod!!!!!! Are they gonna be disappointed! And that just goes to show... for all that spam, NO ONE is giving out FREE SAMPLES of them damn penis patches!!

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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