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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Wednesday, Nov. 10, 2004 - 2:38 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Tired and Stressed and Octopussy

*note* the several pics scattered throughout are from the Adult Language Ed book.. I haven't seen the text so I can't tell you what's up.. I just draw what they say! All images copyright Wench77 eh!!**

Egads I am tired. I just feel drained and exhausted. And stressed. I really need to go to the gym. Like really. Need to go to the gym.

It is hard to motivate oneself to go to the gym when one is stressed and exhausted. I want to sleep and forget all the shit I need to do.

I feel like I am lapsing from being an exciting sexy interesting person into a stressed exhausted bleep. Yah a bleep.

This is no good.

I think I have finally gotten enough work to keep out of the street, but I have no time to do it, not really. I am working. But I have two whole books (the DogGang2 book, and Leo's Dog book) to do as well as I have taken on a magazine illustration and another whole batch of them Adult Language Book images.

I think I will have enough time. But it means I just SQUEEZE in other things, and it stresses me to think of going to teach in another town this coming Monday. That same day I have to have the sketches for the Adult Language done, the sketch for the magazine illustration, and also the final color illo for the cover of the DogGang2 book... I am drawing the sketch for that right now so hopefully I'll get the goahead.

Yeah, so it is like my Thursday watercolor classes. When I am finished rushing on Wed night to send stuff fedex Thurs, I need a sleepin on Thurs and a day off. But instead I have to get up on 4 hours sleep and travel across town and be attentive and in the class.

And when I finish all that work late Sunday night to send it off on Monday, I need a sleepin and a day off. Instead I need to also pack for two days away, ready the dog and all the stuff to show and tell to the class, then drive 2 hours and visit with my friend and her kids who will be up at like 7am, and then teach a class.

Yeah, nothing like relaxing after a work rush eh! Thinking of it exhausts me more. I'd say "don't think of it" but I need to schedule everything in and prepare. Ie tomorrow I really have to book the car to drive out there.

I think the South Korea contract is going to work out. I dunno. I asked for more than they offered. They have counteroffered and I think I'll take it. The payment variable is the US dollar. I will be working with them til May 05. The last time I worked on a US$ contract, it was so painful to see the actual Canadian dollar amount of my work go down 20 % from the time I negotiated the contract to the time the check came in. Dang it all.
But it would be nice to have a minimum guaranteed income, since it is like 5 months work. Yay. I could get back in a grove of working everyday til the same time and doing my yoga at night and soaking in the bath. That seems such a far off luxury now.

I feel real boring. People around me are fighting depression and inertia. That means I am picking them up not vice versa. It's ok.

Thankyou for all the nice comments on the photo yesterday. Wow. Lots of comments. I can say a really good photographer can make anyone look good. Dang. I wish I looked like that when I look in the mirror! LOL!

Well, here are a coupla links. Sorry they are election related. I hate to say but we're up for another 4 years of bitching. The first one, Fuck The South sounds horrid but though I started off reading it thinking, oh god more bitching, I soon was hit with fascinating facts and then laughter. Yes, it is funny. We can all use some funny, eh! Go to it.

This one I'm Sorry is less funny. Heartening perhaps. It made me cry. I dunno. All those real faces I suppose. Scroll down to see the pics. Then hit another number and scroll down to look at new pics.

And here is disgusting food of the day... scroll down and see the ones that look like fingers ready to munch. ooooo. yucky! And I am supposed to draw someone eating octopus. The woman suggested grilled baby octopus. But I dunno, this really REALLY looks like octopus don't it!! And here's some more, on the fire. mmmm good!!!.

You know. I need a good friend. Or a love interest. A reason to have fun. A reason to dress up and go out. A reason to do interesting things and be creative. I actually just want to watch tv. That is such a foreign idea. And yet, if I was going out with someone i could even just cuddle in bed in front of the tv, AND it would be "doing something".
It wouldn't be sinking into depression, it would be "quality time". hehe.

I tell ya, if the restaurant was open now, I would work on my drawing for another half hour and then I would go and have a poutine. Mmmm, melted cheese, frenchfries, gravy. How comfort foody can we get??? mmmm. poutine. Instead I will finish this drawing and then TRY to work some more on the Leo's Dog sketches. I think I actually uploaded a picture so I will share it with you. This is a pencil sketch for the Leo's Dog book. My fave so far. yeah.


Copyright 2004 Wench77.
Click to open a larger version in a new window. yeah.

Well, it is not yet 4am and I am going to close down shop. I don't know what's up. Maybe I am coming down with a cold and it doesn't feel like a cold yet. I already had a nap at 8pm and people have been telling me I look exhausted. yipes.

Or maybe it's just cold. I DID get my swisschard all blanched last night, and made some cream of swiss chard soup. So it is not frozen on the root in the front yard (that is the swisschard equivalent of "on the vine"). I DID manage to get the water out of the outside taps before it froze. I even picked all the green cherry tomatoes. I should look up a recipe. Anyone got any good green tomato recipes?? And now it is frozen outside real good. I feel sad about the castor bean plant. It is not completely frozen... the smaller leaves close to the stem are trying to hang on. Poor castor bean plant... it won't get warm for 6 months. Sorry ol thing. It will just get worse. May as well give it in and wilt. It was so pretty and huge and tropical. Wish I'd taken a photo before it went all limp. Another year!

So, maybe I have a cold or maybe it is cold or maybe I am just tired.

zzzzz

I want someone to cuddle with.

Just as long as they don't whine about how much work i am doing!

nite nite,

wenchie.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009

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