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Music today:The Best of Bread

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Monday, Nov. 03, 2003 - 10:45 p.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Old Friends New Friends

A super quick entry. I am so behind on things. I did NOT get Bear done last night. NOR my GST tax report. I DID get all the US drawings inked in, and got the lines drawn on 3/4 of the Bear drawings, but then it was already 9am and I was fading fast. Called my client and the editor is out of town til Tues, AND the woman scanning in Bear said she had no time until Tues, so there was absolutely no point to killing myself over it. So I went to bed at 9am.

The problem of course, with extending deadlines, is that the horrid rush of must work, cannot do anything else, just expands onto and over the following days when you were hoping to be done with it, and actually get the laundry done, or vacuum up the dog hair. Or anything not absolutely necessary. Hah.

Anyhewz, what do you think of the bizarre image today? Hmmm? I found this and bought this in a neighborhood store. Click on it to see the packaging, after you guess what it may be. Yes, I bought it at the pharmacy!! :) And only 69 cents. The weird things one finds in the most banal places.

Well, what a day. First the calls at 9am to find someone up and at work who could advise me on the need to finish Bear or not. And then, funny them, they said "oh my gosh! you are EARLY!! We didnt expect Bear yet!! You're incredible!" Well, it is quite amusing to call to say you are late, and have them gush over how fast and early you are. Strange, cuz it was them pleading to have it for Oct 27th, and then I conceded to sticking to Nov 3 (Originally I was only supposed to have it done for Dec 1, which would have meant that the past three weeks wouldve been soley dedicated to the US contract, and once that was sent off, I could have worked on only Bear in a relaxed manner for a month. hahahahah! (combine that laugh with an AAAAGH!!! once again!)

Then, some sleep, during which the phone rang. Tom of Vermont called last night, and we chatted while I worked on Bear, at the most ridiculous hours of the early morning. Apparently at 46 or whatever he is, one feels fine about getting 45 minutes of sleep before a full day of work. Hah. Insanity.

And then he called again at noon. And had looked at my website, AND at the diary. Hmmm. Here's hoping he lays off a wee bit. I havent time to sleep, and this is a bit too much friendly even if I enjoy his company and he is intelligent and multi-faceted.

And another call was from Rob, the guy who I was nuts about in 1988, when I went off to art school and he dumped his job, his apartment and me all about a month after I left. He seems to come and go. He reappeared in early 2000, invited me to a show of his paintings (He really is, unlike me, the driven starving artist dedicated to his painting), and painted my kitchen. It seemed we had done so many parallel things... been in therapy, starting businesses (he wanted to do faux-finis on walls to use his painting skills, thus my kitchen), and many other things. A gazillion things to talk about and share. We always shared a sense of humour, artwork, music, books. I thought maybe something could start again after 10 years absense. There were a couple dinners, wine, a bit of kissing. And then I started talking about bdsm, and I think we are no longer at the same place anymore, sex and relationship-wise, like we were (or seemed to be... pretty illusion of not really knowing someone!). And then he sort of vanished again. Since then he has called two or three times from the other side of the city or the other side of the country. Totally out of the blue. It is funny.

Kind of nice. Like my ex of the email the other day, I feel like, hmmm, even if I dont get them, at least years and years later they still look me up and we are friendly. That is a good thing. I was rather busy (rather running, since I tried to get SOME sleep before doggiewalkies and the book launch , so we only talked a few minutes, but may go for coffee this coming week.

Then the book launch. As typical, only one person came because they knew me. I had told the editor that optimistically I would predict 2 people for me, and I got one, so you can see it was not pessimistic to call 2 "optimistic". But at least ONE person came for me, vs friends of the editor, the graphic designer etc.

Anyhewz, turns out the graphic designer is a rather attractive woman of my age who i've chatted with once or twice at Association des Illustrateurs (AIIQ) events and walking dogs once or twice. She is really nice, and gave me a ride home. We chatted a lot and I gave my contact info so she may call me. A good hope for a friend. She has a boyfriend and three kids, and did illustration before she became a graphic designer. She likes dogs and construction. So that is cool. On the way home, she made a bad left turn while looking for a street and the cops pulled us over. She hadnt realized it was an illegal left, AND she hoped he wouldnt notice she'd had 3 glasses of wine, AND she didnt have her wallet, so she didnt have her driver's license or the car registration of the car, which belongs to her guy, AND there was a reflector light burnt out in the back. So she got a ticket and two warnings! Turns out she was driving half blind too, and shouldve had glasses, so I had to go "slow down here, right here, left here"... no wonder she made an illegal left! It was all rather funny.

I hope she calls. I looked up her work in old Illustrator's manuals, and one is a rather mundane blockcut type image of wine and food. But the other is a painting of two dogs savagely fighting, all dirty fur and teeth, with huge red dicks sticking out. Very funny. Who would look at that and hire her? Violent, sexual, passionate, nasty. I like! :)

Well, now must work on my tax report. I wish I could actually get it done before midnight, and pay by bank machine, to have today's date. But that isn't going to happen. So i will get an official nasty letter warning me about being late. So stupid Oh well. And then finish Bear and THEN start in on the grey tones on the US contract.

I was thinking, I should start another field, like the "music today" field, but "what I drew today"... sometimes the answers would be really wonky. Yesterday I drew a bald eagle attacking an osprey, and bubonic plague buboes on an inner thigh. hah.


2:42 am I cannot believe it is nearly 3am ( I cannot believe how i continue over and over to be in disbelief at the hour of the day and the solemn passing of time as per natural law... I feel like that incredibly annoying Justine in Sade's "les malheurs de la vertu"... the stupid ninny can never believe the degradation she is exposed to, although we certainly can, since that is all she's been living the whole book! One would think she would soon become like a jaded porn fanatic... bored and blase and compulsively trying to find something to actually move her anymore...)... now it is actually 3:52 am... agh. again agh. I am finishing the pencils on Bear and will soon do the last touches in Graphic White. Taking a tiny break as in two lines of typing. No one online tonight. zzz I feel zzzz. not enough sleep zzzz

Here is my horoscope for Monday, November 3:

Tempers flare. Problem-solvers go looking for meaningful work. The sad truth is that unwanted advice will probably be unheeded. Find a place that fits, whether or not it's ideal.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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