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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Tuesday, Dec. 02, 2003 - 2:33 p.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Visibility is not Availability

AAAGH!! I am so fed up with this industry!! First I don't get paid for thousands upon thousands of dollars of completely rush work, had no income the previous months, and no income since. Then I get a letter from the author of the book of the rush work saying that the publisher is in breach of contract with her, should she put a stop on the book. Now I get a catalogue of all the books put out by the company which produced the book that was picked to be given out for free to all the students in Grade one in the whole bloody country. Order before Christmas it said, order now.

So I thought, yes, I will order copies of that book, since the last two times I wanted to get copies it was out of print. I only have French copies of the book (well I have ONE copy that is my own, signed by the author) put out by another company.

So, they call me back to day and say it is being reprinted. I can't get any copies. There aren't any copies. Well, it's been like a year there aren't any copies for the person who drew the fucking book.

Every goddamn grade one kid gets a copy for free, but I, whose name and picture are on the cover, have not been able to get my hands on a fuckin copy (and yes, I pay for the copies I get myself, and DON'T earn royalties (hehe, you know those monies I am due when people buy my art instead of copying it for free cuz they like it) on the copies I buy myself... I don't get copies for free).

And maybe they are in stores everywhere, and that is why they have no copies to sell me. Maybe that's it right?? They print up a batch and ship em out to the paying public so they have none sitting around?? NO! I have tried to buy it at bookstores here in Montreal, one of the biggest cities in Canada, and I cannot even order it in, because it's been OUT OF PRINT. Supposedly bestselling, and the goddamn company doesn't keep it even available to ORDER by the public, let alone have them IN bookstores so someone could see it and buy a copy.

How do you think I make royalties on a book the public cannot even buy? And yet, it is given out to kids in school (yes, I will be paid something for that), in posters that are put up that everyone sees, and said poster was seen in a daily newspaper.

So I imagine that everyone like our aforementioned diarylander thinks that they are selling biggazolla and that I am rolling in the dough. No. Accolades are not cash flow. And visibility is not availability. I feel like my book is like the Siberian Tiger... used to promote everything from gasoline to cellphones but on the endangered species in real life. Wild animals should have a copyright too... maybe then we'd be interested in them, not just the prettiness of them which we can use to promote ourselves. grrr. That is a different rant.

Bunch of jackasses. Supposedly it is being reprinted. The girl asked if I would "like to replace that book in my order with another book?" I think not.

Now it is too late to go to the bank today. Shit, me and returning my business calls before I get out of the door.

I swear I will write a nicer entry one of these days. In the meanwhile, go read the latest by Loopyboi and Onewetleg. They have written nice sweet loving entries lately. yay.

Here is my horoscope for Tuesday, December 2:

Your instinct is correct more than half of the time. Business and art merge harmoniously. Once again you can assert yourself without looking like an opportunist.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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