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Listening to Radio Sweden on CBC Radio One

Reading today: "Self" by Yann Martel

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Wednesday, Dec. 17, 2003 - 2:41 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Adults are deluged by paperwork. agh.

he he I was gonna write about how thrilled I was with the mail. Hell, someone paid me ALREADY!! it is the Doggie people! And I haven't even sent them any work yet, except the sketch of the cover... (click HERE to see redrawn sketch) cuz they pay on signing the contract! Bless their hearts they signed right away AND send me a check! hell yeah!

And I got my US$ Visa Card! wheehooooooo! That means I can pay with US$ when I'm in the states, or need to buy US shit over the phone or internet, and then pay the Visa out of my US$ account (hehe, where I hide $ earned from my US contract people... actually I don't "hide" it... cuz it is in the same account info at my bank as my Canadian account, but I "hide" it from me... so I pretend it's like not there til I go to the US or something, then take out US$ to spend)... no exchange rate shit!!! yay! So that is exciting!

And I got my VentureOne small business 5% off Canada Post discount card today.

And a check from the gov't which decided last year I am making little enough to qualify for Quebec Sales Tax personal refunds. nice sometimes to be broke. hmm.

So that was all just dandy handy.

And then I had an "I HATE BEING AN ADULT" moment. When suddenly I realized it is nearly 3am, and I have spent the last 4 hours... count em, 4 hours, dealing with mail and email, and Visa card applications, and sorting snail mail, and realizing that I forgot to invoice for two days now, the sketch invoice I FORGOT!!!! to send for the last US book... back in Oct. They are taking 80 days to pay my fucking invoices and I FORGOT TO INVOICE!! ack! At least that is only one of 6... and the nice lady said that two more checks were to go out to me this Friday... yeehaw! I MIGHT be out of the hole for Christmas!

One almost wants to max out one's new US$ Visa just to celebrate! Kidding. I actually completely pay off my Canadian one every month and have never maxed it out.

Yes, 4 hours of crapola mail. And I am NOT DONE with the emails... but, Supreme Moment of Panic... somehow when I clicked "check mail", my inbox suddenly showed only 8 messages since Dec5, and 6 of those were "astrology today" messages! Freakout! my god! I looked to see if I'd deleted em by accident or something, but no, gone. Ack.

But no fear, I quit and restarted my Netscape and they reappeared, all 1006 messages and 56 unread. Deep sigh.

But I am just so over being an adult. I got today some big readout from the federal govt telling me how much I have accumulated each year since 1981 in my pension plan. Hehe. It is terrifying to see how little taxable income I used to have. And how little I have accumulated. At this point I would get $169 a month for retirement income. Yup. Canadian moolah. Terrifying I tell ya. Because I am 40. And I would get this income when I am 60. That is 20 years. And 1981 is MORE than 20 years past, so I am past halfway. I better have "the best years" coming up! No world wars, no stock market crashes, no replacement of book illustration with computer chip implants in your head. (you may laugh, but imagine being a radio drama star in 1930, and then tv comes along, and then computers. Totally screwed I tell ya)

Sigh. Anyways, they want me to check if the income declared all those years is correct. Who the hell are they kidding? Like I even know in what labelled box my income tax returns from 1984 are hidden in, let alone have time to get them out. That is up there with your grandchildren asking to see the crossstitch you did when you were 12. ack.

So, I am feeling bogged down in paperwork. Passport. Temporary Seller's Permit for the Alternative Press Expo in SF in Feb. Regime des Rentes. Invoices. I have about three thick renewal envelopes from insurance companies I am supposed to read through to see the terms are correct. And let's not think about putting all my info on past and future clients uptodate so I can send them Christmas/promo cards in the next week. That alone is two days of phone calls, and THEN addressing and mailing all the cards.

I still haven't called the government about the mysterious "advance tax payment" papers they sent me that had written on one side a large amount I was assessed at, and then where it said "ammount payable" it said "zero". I have paid zero, but I am afeared I am gravely mistaken in doing so and will be charged interesto gazoola. glll.

You know, writing all this down is not cheering me up. I guess I'll go back and tackle the last envelope (which surprisingly enough is not from Ste-Justine Children's Hospital with a picture of Celine Dion and her hubby and baby... urk... asking for $$...already opened that...) But rather a Christmas card (i expect) from my aunt and uncle. I cannot imagine they manage to send out cards to all 36 of us cousins!!... and then I can look at those 56 unopened emails.

Oh, and to end on a good note... My client loved "Eavesdrop Boy" and said it is always a pleasure to work with me. And my other client liked the doggies cover, but I had to make him smile... so here he is... I'm awaiting on their comments on his new face:
Bebert smiling...2nd cover sketch, copyright 2003 Wench77

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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