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Music today some freeform jiveass coolcat jazz stuff on cbc. I could take it or leave it.

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Sunday, Nov. 09, 2003 - 11:58 p.m.

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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Parsley Pesto and Passive Aggression

MMM, it is cold and novembry outside and warm and summer at the Wench's! yes!! The parsley pesto totally rocks! oh my god! I just finished making 4 batches and putting them in ice cube trays in the freezer, and am eating the leftovers.

Fresh parsley, garlic, tomatoes from the garden, olive oil, baguette, mozarella cheese... mmm. Summer in November.

It is from the aforementioned Moosewood Restaurant Daily Special cookbook. And I suppose it is probably copyrighted, but what the heck I shall share it with you from the top of my head... so I am sharing an idea rather than the text, non?? :P

1/2 large tomato, chopped into large pieces, put into blender or cuisinart with:
1 Tablespoon olive oil, and whir until smooth. Add
2 cloves garlic, minced, and
1 teaspoon salt, and whir again. Add
2 cups packed washed parsley leaves. (one bunch)

Blend until a pureed paste, scraping down sides as necessary.

All in all it takes about 5 minutes absolute max to make a batch, other than washing the parsley. It can be frozen in ice cubes, or eaten on pasta, with tomatoes, bread, dolloped in soup, or whereever you want a little parsley, garlic and salt added. mmmm.

Anyhewz, I made lots and lots with all the parsley that was left behind at the community garden. It is good to know I'm getting something green for once! The cool thing is that it doesnt cost an arm and a leg in pine nuts like the basil pesto.

I also made two huge batches of borscht. 13 pints of soup, not counting the three pints I am giving to my neighbor for being so neighborly and letting me use her (brandnew) cuisinart. whirrrrrrrr.

Unfortunately my body thinks it's the weekend and is winding down now. No energy or desire to make quiches. Tomorrow will be good enough. I have broccoli, mushroom, swisschard and leeks to make quiche. Three kinds of cheese. mmmm. Cooking is an excellent way to remember that you have senses. It assaults all of them with these natural ingredients... smells, textures, tastes, bright colors, warmth and humidity in the kitchen. When I walked doggies and came back in, the whole house was hot and fragrant. What a treat to arrive to.

I have rented Frida, which I believe has Salma Hayek in it. Good vegging film I hope.

Hmm, here is a good quote via the diary of Squirrel X, varmint incognito, and source of all great quotes to come, which fits the next 3/4 of an entry of annoying virtue:

"The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues."
__Elizabeth Taylor
I wonder if ob ever plans to send back my books and video that she still has. I sent a box of all her stuff (you know, the end-of-relationship stuff exchange) nearly 3 months ago, including a list of the things I wanted back. And then I sent an email 2 weeks ago. I hope she sends the things. Not so much because they are irreplacable (one book she mangled a bit, and was going to buy a new one... which I could do. The video, I can get another copy from the guy who made it. And the other book, which was a birthday present and had a note in it from my mother, could also be replaced). But rather because every thing she doesnt do just adds to the list of black marks against her character. And I am wishing for that list to be as short as possible. It is never good to add to the list of wrongs. One or two are enough.
"Do not lengthen the quarrel while there is an opportunity of escaping." __Latin proverb

I wonder if it is laziness, avoidance of an unpleasant task, not wanting to make closure, or passive aggressiveness. Passive aggressiveness is always an interesting thing. Those who feel disgruntled, or annoyed, or taken advantage of. Revengeful or resentful, just refrain from doing whatever it is they are supposed to, normally should do, or promised to do, as a way of "getting back". Sometimes it is not conscious, but more often it is. The person says "i planned to do it" or "I will do it..." but part of their mind is going "yeah right', "serves you right", "when hell freezes over", "fuckin bitch" "grrrrr". Perhaps such people should just swear more:

"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." __Mark Twain

The reason it is interesting is that it supposedly "gets back at" the person they are resentful of, by fucking them around. Not returning something they need, not doing something they need to get done etc. But in the end, very quickly it is not the person who they are angry at who gets the short stick, but themselves. I can always buy another book, or just decide I dont want it anymore (and really, I have to think, to remember which book my mom gave me), whereas the passive aggressive person cannot get another reputation, good name, or trust.

If you tell people you will do something and then dont, "forget", put it off... you come off as untrustworthy, unreliable, and flakey. The next time you want to borrow a book, people will remember you didnt return the last one. It ends up being your own loss, not theirs. If they need something done, and you offer to do it, they will go " I better do it myself or ask a different person, because she has a reputation for falling through".

Somehow it seems a lot more valuable to a person to keep their reputation for keeping their word, fulfilling their duties, etc, than to use passivity to express discontent. Hell, give back the book, and then talk about whatever it is that is biting your ass. Being passively aggressive is a lack of communication, and engenders still more lack of communication. Few people want to sit down and chat about clearing up problems if the other person is perceived as lazy, irresponsible, resentful and welching on promises. Nope.

The other thing I don't understand is how people seem to think that making one mistake gives license to commit more. As in, well, I didnt give her book back last time, so she already thinks I'm flakey, so it won't matter that I'm late to our dinner date too.

Duh. Hell, if they were on time to the dinner date, I'd just think they were neglectful about books, NOT neglectful about books and late as well. This kind of thinking is what gets people those sentences of 412 years in prison. They think: "Well, they saw me stealing a loaf of bread. Well, what difference does it make if I steal a car to get away too. And speed. And try to outrun the police. And shoot someone in my way. And and and.." What difference does it make? The convictions and penalties for another 5 or six (much worse) crimes. More people will want to go out with, give jobs to and rent apartments to someone with a petty theft conviction, than someone who was in jail for petty theft, high speed car chases with the police and murder. (which of course is the reason Thelma and Louise went off that cliff. I really don't know why that is a good end. Their fuckin husbands and stupid boyfriends and redneck cops were left scratchin their heads and their balls, with the rest of their lives in front of them, ... heck, it scarcely fucked up their day that two crazy broads ran themselves off a cliff. And Thelma and Louise were as dead as if some drunk driver had run them off the road before they reached middle age. Now tell my why that is a victory for anyone, let alone women??)

We see this when people break up. I've done it. You think "heck, we're through anyways" so "what difference does it make if I sleep with her best friend, make out in her face, steal her favourite cds, not pay my part of the bills of the apartment we shared" etc etc.

Hah. If you'd stuck with the breakup, and then acted well during the rest, you would have a rep for being a good person, someone who isnt a bastard when you break up. Someone that the other person will miss. Heck once you break up with them, and show yourself to be a shifty, stealing, hurtful asshole, she's gonna be so fuckin glad she's not stuck with you! (and her frieinds will agree)

That doesnt mean be a doormat. Or give up everything (I broke her heart so I couldnt take the cat and the car too, even though they were mine to start with) which is the sort of passive victim thing. (It didnt work and now I am homeless, penniless, loveless, sockless) too.

But hell, don't add insult to injury, or injury to injury. Heck if someone was good enough to be going out with yesterday, why not still treat them with some respect today? If you do that it is good for the self-esteem, as well as what other's think of you.

Well, off my high horse of generalizations. I just think it is too bad if she doesnt send back my shit, I guess cuz I'd like to think she fucked me around that weekend we broke up, but that she is not a bad person. That I could at some time in the future lend her books again, and that if I did that they would return to me. Yup. Heck, I dont think I've ever had a breakup where the other person didnt send or give back my stuff. It is sad, but it marks the end of one thing and the start of another.

"The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something." __Carl Sandburg

Well, I think I'll fiddle around with some photoshop stuff I promised someone and then watch my movie. Enough blahblah for tonight!

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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