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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Tuesday, Nov. 15, 2005 - 2:17 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

The Plastinator and Wenchie can't leave corpses alone

Well, merde alors.

I have to stop going by artsyguy's place. I just keep walking in front of moving vehicles if they are cute enough, don't I? Yes I went by on my way to the coffeeshop. Yes he asked if I minded if he came with, since I was going to eat and he was hungry.

Yes we had fascinating discussion for an hour or so. He let me have a frenchfry and try his tea, I let him try my chicken. He talked about scarification (how did we get on that?) and I showed my cross, ohm, and sun on my back, he showed me where he had the head of a screw slice threw his hand for 6 inches. We talked about art. He mentioned some guy who does art where he peels back the skin on corpses and preserves them.

Tonight when I got home I did a little google research and found what he meant. Incredibly there is a show in Toronto by this guy. It is called Body Worlds. Very interesting and cool. It is at the science museum, which seems more fitting than an art museum. I would hesitate to call it art, but I wouldn't hesitate to call it fascinating.

Artsyguy talked about music, and a book where the main character falls in love with a female sculptor and eats things to try to turn himself into a sculpture while alive. Anyways, it was interesting and fascinating and dang, why does he have to be interesting? Dang!

For years I only meet mainstream normal people in my neighborhood... even the lesbians are mainstream people with jobs in social services and engineering and not weird at all, and I have to discover some guy who is cute, sexy, his fave sister is a lesbian, he's artsy, intelligent... oh dang. and um, with a broken heart. goddamn anyways. Someone said 'give him 6 months and see if he is interested. Don't get involved now or you'll be rebound girl and he'll be done with you"

Lovely, if I wasn't planning to be adopting a special needs foster kid in 6 months. Like I will have time to suck face when I have a damaged kid sucking my time and energy 24/7, not to mention the social services system. I undoubtedly will be tired, cranky, overwhelmed, and certainly not feeling sexy, or available to go to movies, or hang out or whatever. Fuck it all anyways. Yay for great timing. Not.

And when he left the coffeeshop I got a kiss on the cheeks instead of the mouth again. Oh well. Did I ever mention that guys tend to treat me like a buddy, and then fall gaga over some unattainable girl who blushes and giggles, and cringes when he talks about most of the things they talk about me with? yah. fuckitall.

Anyways, I wrote everyone involved in the lesbian moms book that I am not going to do the contract. That what they are trying to make me do, with a man in a business suit coming from the office, two super feminine women, everyone white, is not what I was told when I signed the contract. In pretty much any court of law that would hold up. Anyways, I also told them they were unprofessional, didn't treat me with respect etc.

They are not going to like that letter but it was truthful. And not too blathering i think, given that I had previously written emails about each of those issues that I never sent. Ie they are getting the compact, distilled, nonranting version. The horrid versions are still in my draft box.

I have no idea what they will say, but they can stew and simmer as much as they like.
I phoned several other clients and said I had free time from this coming week onwards, and they expressed interest. Clients who pay better, are clear with their instructions, do work with mixed races, stick to contract etc. yay. Nice clients. Who treat me nicely. yes.

OK, well, that is it for now.
I just wanted to write about the cool science corpse exhibit. By 'The Plastinator". Wouldn't it be great if he got hold of the governator?? And i wonder if there is any way I can convince artsyguy and his son rollerboy to go to see that show in Toronto with me. Dang but that is a long way off. But this is like a once in a lifetime chance to see a show like this. hmmmmm

byebye
me
wenchie

Several hours later: Well, I am an amazing person, dang. I managed to get my toilet bowl mostly WHITE! I left some of that CLR for a couple hours (yeah I know that is not the instructions on the bottle) and then scrubbed like hell. I am REALLY BAD about cleaning the toilet. Like I do it five times a year. Don't tell the fostercare people. And if it is brown I flush it down, and if it's yellow I let it mellow... meaning um, yucky toilet bowl. OK, I sort of diddle a toilet brush around and wipe off the seat with some powdered cleanser shit. But I never scrub out the sort of yellow stain. My dad did it (ok ok, he's mean but he scrubs the toilet), but it hasn't been white since a year ago. And it is now. wow. Yes it is because I was embarrassed when artsyboy came over and peed in it. dang. hehe.

Anyways, I didn't come back to this entry to say that. I came back to say... Since when do we have ads instead of diary banners? yikes! I clicked on a couple and got weird nothings, but realized they said they were ads. I want diary banners, not effin ads. I want to click and be surprised by the multudinous variety of diaryland, I do. Andrew... we do NOT like the ads. grrrr. That is cuz not enough of ya are renewing your Gold and Super Gold, you know that right? grrrrrr. ok, nite nite!

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009

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