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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Tuesday, May. 31, 2005 - 1:19 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Girls Are More Rational

Now there's something that applies to me!!

Apparently girls, when they get good results in math tend to say, "oh, that's a surprise, I don't really understand math" (same with physics).

When boys get good results in math, they tend to say "oh, I excel in math!!"

Girls tend to self-doubt more, and rate themselves as doing less well, even though they do as well or better than boys in subjects such as physics.


Let's apply that to me.
My therapist is like "there is nothing wrong with you, you are totally normal"... yet I would self-report that I am anxious (she said "well in the situation you describe, not being anxious would be a pathology"), that I get angry (she said "well, the proper response to that situation for a normal person would be anger"), that I don't manage to get everything done (she said "well, you do about three times as many things as your average person, and THEY don't manage to get everything done"), that my house is not spotless (she said "if you were as busy as you are and your house were spotless I would suspect obsessive compulsive cleaning").

I am reminded of grade school where I was freaking out that I was failing my classes after I changed from one school to another in midyear when we moved. You know why I thought I was failing? Because for the first time in my life I got Bs and a C or two instead of straight Apluses.

So um, yeah. When you judge someone from their self-assessment, ask around. If someone says "no one likes me!!! I have no friends!!" do they actually have no friends, or do they mean they FEEL like they have no friends cuz the ten friends (all of whom they have been good friends with for ten years or more) they called to do something this weekend were all busy with their parent's wedding anniversaries and travels to Cuba and thus were unavailable.

If someone says "I am so lazy" do they mean they don't fulfil their responsibilities and laze around in bed watching videos and jerking off for days or weeks. Or do they mean that after working 12 hours, buying bedding plants, washing the dishes and laundry and hoeing the garden, they couldn't motivate themselves to vacuum as well?

If someone says they feel they have no time in their lives, is it because they are full booked up solid with obligations, or because they have read the newspaper, a novel, 15 internet diaries, chatted with three friends on the phone and stopped to listen to the neighbor's gardening adventures. If it is the second, and they want to adopt a child. You know what? They will find the time by reading fewer online diaries, skimming the newspaper, and pointing out the bugs in the garden, and the names of the plants to the child WHILE they are listening to the neighbor's gardening adventures. And probably read a children's book out loud to the child instead of reading a novel silently to themselves.

So yeah.
Self-reporting. Find out the true story. Girls and the overachievers tend to underassess.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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