Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing
Tuesday, Jan. 25, 2005 - 3:19 a.m.
WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.
Manned Missions, Reappearing Boy and Onion Tats
OK, I have to write now to redeem Disappearing Boy's name.
He has become Reappearing Boy again... turned up on my doorstep while I was still asleep today. I am chastened to say that I did NOT wake up at 2pm, but rather woke up at 3:30 pm when he rang the doorbell. Dang! I WAS up at 1pm to talk on the phone with a vet about doggy's antiinflammatories and then when I went back to sleep I slept like the dead.
Well, do the dead sleep?
So, we went for coffee (well, I had a breakfast croissant mmmm) where I drew my comics page and he sketched... and Yeah, ok, he made me a music tape, and Yeah, he has been thinking of doing a series of smaller paintings that would be easier for him to work on at my place in the room we rearranged.
Now you see how I end up staying in relationships that are going bad, and visiting people across the country or continent, or internationally when I am feeling I got that "disinterested" vibe... cuz I look at times like this, and think "you've been wrong before, you are being insecure, they probably were just distracted or having a bad day".
Then I show up, it goes horribly, and everyone including myself says "you should have known from how they were on the phone before you went".. Except when I am wrong and it goes well. Dang eh. How to know how to know.
So right now he is snoring in my bedroom. Funny having a dog snoring in the hallway and a guy snoring in my bed. At least I feel productive with everyone sleeping around me! I did get the changes done and sent for the Adult Language Ed contract and the Leo's Dog book is going just spiffily. That Leo guy looks sort of demonical where he is being falsely cheery to lure the dog to the boat (from which he shall jettison the poor thing).
Haha, someone on a list I'm on asked whether or not a total power exchange between bdsm players/ lifestylers is actually achievable or whether it is some fantasy ideal that isn't a reasonable goal in real life. Someone wrote back saying that people said that putting a man on the moon was impossible but it was done.
HAHA... that is a really bad comparison. I googled "manned moon landings"... in the entire history of mankind looking at the moon and fantasizing walking on it, there has been exactly SIX successful attempts. SIx. And only between 1969 and 1972. Here is a comparison of American and Soviet space programs and moon landings... lots more deaths than successes. Not a single man on the moon since 1972. (here is why there haven't been more... funnily enough citizens thought there were more pressing concerns. Who wouldve thought.)
It takes a lifetime of training, hundreds of people behind you and billions of dollars and still only happened for a few minutes for each person who was on the successful six missions.
I would NOT call that "actually achievable" or "a reasonable goal in real life"... so that actually was not a point in argument for it being so, but rather an argument against if you ask me. Six times in the history of mankind?? Jeesh, you have more chance of becoming Pope I tell ya.
OK, well thanks everyone for all the nice suggestions and sympathy about Reappearing Boy. We'll see what happens. I DO know that someone in my life takes a lot of time and brainspace... I realize when I'm rushing around... wow. Here I think I am normally scattered... and it turns out I am normally really focussed. Who knew.
Gotta get back to work.
cheers,
me,
wencholagranola
ps, I have invites to stay at people's places the whole time I am in San Fran in April!! Yay! that means no hotels! Yay for the budget!! AND I might get my first tattoo... an onion behind my ear on my head. IF it happens it will be a Friday night before the comics con... that is funny... I'll have a shaved spot on my head with a new tattoo the whole time. Not exactly discrete huh! I wonder how much it'll show through my hair when my hair grows back? probably a lot cuz jeesh my hair is getting thin! And behind my ear it is pretty short. Ooooo my barber is going to be grumpy about it! Dang!! oh well... he's used to me I suppose... tah!!
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previous meanderings - future past
Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009
