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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Friday, Jan. 14, 2005 - 1:43 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Rarranging Plants, Hearts and Dog Ears


Here i am having a little work break and go and read a couple diary entries (I missed most yesterday busy busy) and I read Mom-on-roof's from yesterday and now I'm all sniffy and crying. Sniff. Snuffle. Snurf.

Hmm. I think I should brush my teeth and blow my nose and put on a hot drinky and then come back.

copyright 2005 Wench77: wenchie out on New Year's Eve!


OK there we go... nose blown, fresh hot drinky, brushed teeth and a pee to boot. yay!

Listening to Combustible Edison and The Rebirth of Cool Six. Googling those I learned the new words "Leftfield" "downbeat" "downtempo". I already knew "electronic lounge" and "trip hop". Hmm. Now I am up on 1996-98 music. Dang. hehe. It is a tape that Disappearing Boy has.

copyright 2005 Wench77: wenchie with bicycle helmet and fishnets New Years Eve
We had a little talk tonight at supper. It is a good thing cuz I was getting a little antsy. How do I fall into these things that are things and are nothing at the same time. I dunno. Friends and then you make out but you're not together, and they hang at your place and stay for three days at a time but aren't living together... it is all so confusing and boundaryfuzzy.
I mentioned it today in the dog park with another doggymommy (actually Motorcycle Boy's ex) and so I am glad that Disappearing Boy brought it up. I think he was glad that I said we're friends and I still find him attractive and like making out with him but I don't think we're the world's next great romance. hehe.

Anyways, he feels comfortable working here, but uncomfortable being in my hair, worried about me sleeping, and odors (haha, no not him, rather if he does oil painting here) and all... anyhows it is still rather flou but seems alright. I think the best thing is that we have the communication open so that it isn't a tensionfilled thing with everyone wondering and no one asking questions.

So yeah, yesterday he came over around 7:30 pm and we completely rearranged the small double room. It looks great. I moved the furniture in with the plants, and moved the plants around... totally comfy livingroom type space, and since half the walls are the same color as the Moroccan room walls, it still all fits nicely colorscheme wise. And it IS nice having the plants interspersed with the couches. That left mostly bookshelves and bureautype furniture in the back half of the room, and he is set up for drawing. Drew all day today. Now he is sleeping. We drove to buy art supplies after I got back from my watercolor class and I drew my comic page. There are advantages to having friends with cars who are into the arts. hehe.

Anyhews, so far it is fun and we get along well like always. The bizarre thing is that it is making me miss ob huge big time. I miss our funky crazy adventures and how she was gungho to do stuff, how we had funky wild sex that involved everything from playing with fire to praying and knives, spoken word fantasies and dressup, softness and scariness... all as well as caressing and kissing and cuddling. Not that I should complain about a guy that kisses and cuddles. I think also it is him in the room I was painting for ob. It brings up the fact that that didn't work out. Oh well.

It is still incredibly nice to have another person in the apartment. To not have that half of the place be like some sort of abandoned warehouse that no one lives in. To see light in there and walk by and someone is quietly drawing. To offer someone else coffee, or take a break for dinner. Incredibly nice.

It is also sort of reassuring I haven't become a completely antisocial curmudgeon. If I can stand him around maybe I could stand having a kid. Not the same thing I know, but I was starting to wonder if indeed I was so used to be alone in my space that I would be driven crazy by the simple presence of someone around. Nope. No worries. Cool.

But dang, I am sad again about ob. It has come up bubbling unexpected to the surface at the funniest times today. Imagining what her body looks like, standing there in her underwear in the morning. Or her teasing sexy dancing boy face with her clicking tongue. Or going to get clove cigarettes for her. Dang I am a stupid sucker. Dang now i have made myself cry again. May as well go and reread Mom-on-roof's entry. dang.
copyright 2005 wench77: doggy boots and jackets at L'Ecrivaine's Dec 26/04

Anyhews, like I said, the room rearranged looks great, and now with my studio rearranged (sorry, I keep meaning to finish it, but I'm back to work fulltime and so it is sliiiiiiding again), the house feels sort of fresh and refurbished.

Well, that is what is going on with me.

Doggy's ear is doing great, and her toes and eyes too, thanks for asking. I think the antibiotics in and out and all the extra cleaning attention did the trick. The hair is growing back and she is peppy and back to her normal self. yay!

copyright 2005 wench77: Doggy submits to BIG SCARY BLACK MEAN DOG!!!!
But I have to make an appointment for a vet appointment. In two weeks her anti-inflammatory prescription runs out. And I don't feel like seeing the same super asshole vet as last year who wrote the prescription. I'll have to decide whether to call and see if I can get a different vet at the same place,
or whether to make an appointment at a different place here in town, where the guy with the 14yr old Pyrrenee des Montagnes goes... he is happy with his vet and his dog is larger than mine, and has dysplasia and all. Hmmm. Gotta decide gotta decide.

Well, back to work. I'm working on the Leo's Dog book. The guy who wallops the dog hehe.
hugs and all

Here is my horoscope for Thursday, January 13:

Some people insist on learning the hard way. If you can't stop them, don't enable them. Everyone else needs to see you're not like this crowd, and you don't approve. Keep your place on the angels' team.

Who knows.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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