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Music today: Martha Wainwright

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Saturday, Apr. 30, 2005 - 5:23 a.m.

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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Saint Bernard FAQs to dispell IGNORANCE!!

OK, you can go back one if you want to see the picture of the cute dragon. Yes I was drawing cute dragons tonight... though not cute in the same way as this one. Mine were cute as in "cute and cuddly" and small-child-friendly, not in the "oh look at the tiny thing struggling away" cute way... I hope my cute and cuddly dragon clients like the sketches I sent.

Anyways, I am now googling Saint Bernards for a comic strip I am drawing. Some smartass cartoonist whom I know did a strip comparing SUVs in the city to having a Saint Bernard in a studio apartment, and then went on to give all kinds of totally wrong information about Saints to make his point. Ie they are hugomungo (Saints are the same size as humans. If you have space in your apartment to invite a 120-160 pound human friend over, you have space in your apartment for a 120-160 pound canine friend, who will not even sit on the couch (it's a dog for god's sake... just say "down"), hog the remote control, or raid your fridge). That they eat massively huge quantities of food just to keep going (Saints actually eat LESS than most mid-sized dogs since they are so tranquil and slowmoving), And that only a SUV can be redesigned to make it more user-friendly (hello??? A saint is a human-bred, human-designed mix of mastiff, and probably great dane, as well as newfoundland... definitely is constantly influenced by human-controlled breeding to get what we want), and that "it's too bad SUVs can't also be banned by landlords". Well, I agree with that one, but the "also" means it is a wonderful thing that Saints can be banned by landlords.

I would first ban all hunting dogs (constantly in motion, tend to chew, dig, bark etc if cooped up... they're made to run after desperate wild animals, or keep up with a man on a horse all day), all terriers (they're made to chase down and kill small viscious animals such as weasels and rats in holes in the ground... "terrier" means an animal's hole in the ground... thus they are viscious, high energy, tenacious, tend to bite, and also highstrung and bark), then cats (they piss and fight and meowl in heat), then people who are loud drunks...

Somewhere when we've eliminated everyone except librarians and little old ladies knitting, we get to Saint Bernards. Quiet, calm couch potatoes. Dang.

I am writing a comic refuting his stupid SUV/ Saint-Bernard analogy with all its misinformation, and thus am googling.

So, I wasn't going to update tonight except I found Saint Bernard FAQ that is so right-on it made me laugh out loud. Sustained laughing out loud.

It was this quote in particular:

ARE THEY GOOD WATCHDOGS? The Saint's size and bark will discourage most intruders, yet he will learn to recognize your friends and receive them cordially. If an intruder gets by the size and barks, your Saint may decide to lead him straight to the family silver since he would much prefer to be a friend to all. The one exception to this is when a member of the family is being threatened. The Saint's instinct to protect those he loves becomes very apparent at this time.

And particularly "would decide to lead him straight to the family silver"... cuz just tonight someone asked if my doggy was a good watch dog. And I said, well, actually, she'd just be sad if the person only took the tv and didn't come back for the stereo, microwave etc, cuz then they'd leave. She'd be like "oh goody!! the nice person is coming back! yay! maybe they'll pet me!! oh they're going with the stereo. pout. pout. oh YAY!!! they are COMING BACK for the cds!! YAY! oh drat, they are leaving again. sob sniff... oh YAY!!! They are COMING BACK FOR THE MICROWAVE!! oh JOY!!!!"

hehe. So I found it incredibly amusing to see that sentence written on an official St Bernard Club of America FAQ page. It means I totally have Saints down, not just my beast.

Such a sweet doggie!!

So, that's it folks.

Tomorrow there will be a review of Martha Wainwright's new eponymous album, which I bought today, as soon as I heard it was out. You may remember I loved her when she opened for Cyndi Lauper here in town last year. I want to listen to the album several times before saying anything. Some of the song arrangements are changed from the little one-off cd I got last year, and I haven't decided if I like them. And I usually like when artists aren't backed up by all sorts of "good musicians" and "production values". Dang.

Now it is 5:40 and I am going to TRY to get to sleep before 6am. Maybe I'll have another mint chocolate chip hookah. Instead of my regular grilled cheese. I swear I am expanding around the middle, and may have to go easy on the bedtime grilled cheeses. I may die of despair. I may. Drat and little fishes.

Nite nite folks!
And i hope I have dispelled some Saint Bernard mythology with that FAQ. Be nice to Saints and DO NOT compare them with the disgustingness that is SUVs.


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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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