Thursday, Dec. 15, 2005 - 11:54 p.m.
Cost of the War in Iraq
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Small Panics for a Full Heart
Do you realise I have a boyfriend now?
What the heck do I get a boyfriend for Christmas?? The last time I had a boyfriend around Christmastime, I got him a paper shredder. He was not the romantic type. And anyways he wasn't my boyfriend, and even if he was at some point, he wasn't by the time christmas came, but since I had already bought the papershredder I gave it anyways.
Last night we went out for thai food.
and I got scared and cried and freaked that this is the start of all that is wrong with me and then he won't want me anymore and why do I think that something might work out for the first time ever and I was sad and had a hole in my heart.
And it was hard.
But I still had anxiety nightmares all night. There was stealing. And betrayal. And 911 calls. And thinking I saw longlostfriends driving by but it wasn't them, it was an old man who was a stranger, and there was finger biting (me biting, their fingers), and sleeping in a truck but also missing an airplane flight and thus the connection to the next flight, and then the alarm went.
It was not such a good sleep.
But it was an ok day.
And he came over after work for supper and we listened to oldiesmusic and sang along to it (he can harmonise) and talked and cuddled and now I am back with a full heart and a grin and a smile and a happy feeling.
He has gone home to sleep early to catch up. And I'm going to hit the sack right now, cuz one of these days i have to do paying work instead of comics for people, and baking cookies and wrapping presents and hanging out with a great guy who plays guitar with his breakfast coffee.
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Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
*inspired by Chaosdaily