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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Friday, Mar. 12, 2004 - 2:54 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.



Here is a more fun entry. I am sorry the entries have been sporadic or dull or whiny... I take notes of interesting things in the paper every afternoon to expound on and share and then I run out of time and energy. I think I am still fighting some bug cuz I'm just tired tired tired.

But tonight after flamenco, feeling tired and like I want to drop this US client, I rented a movie about manouche music (gypsies in France) called Swing. It is sort of a sweet love story, about a middle class boy who falls in love with both gypsy guitar and a gypsy girl. Very summer movie. Good for a snuggle date with lots of giggling. I liked it. The characters break out in music (and some characters just play themselves like the guitarist Mandino Rheinhardt) left right and center, so it is like a musical documentary with a small plot. Very nice if you like gypsies. Here is another review with photos (scroll down).

Of course it made me cry for a few minutes... when they were singing about getting burned by love, and I imagined my ob at the feet of Mme Corncob, stroking her knees, around the campfire at the musicfest. Which is what of course my ob told me she would do with ME at the musicfest. Adore me in front of everyone in front of the campfire. So it was a very painful bunch of last memories engraved on my mind.

Maybe usually these days I am too busy. But it will hurt forever when I touch the scab. She wouldve loved this movie. It's the kind of thing we wouldve snuggled together on the floor in front of her tv to watch.

At the end when they parted, I thought, why arent my endings like that? With both parties wanting to be together and thinking kindly with happiness in their hearts of the moments together? Why do my relationships end like this bad US client thing?

I make allowances cuz I care, cuz we were good together. Then the bad parts seem to be not an exception, but a rule... where I am taken for granted. Then I voice my complaints and say I loved the relationship, I want to address the issues so we can be together again in a way that makes us happy. They say, yeah, I hear you, but really there is nothing to do. I stay miserable for a little while, and then due to the utter lack of interest in working on bettering things, I leave.


Oh well, I said this is a more fun entry. I guess not. Stop listening to me and rent the movie. yeah.

I think I'll do something either productive to feel better, like get rid of the Christmas tree finally, or something unproductive like drink a beer in bed and then go to sleep.


Read my other entry today about my US client problem of the day.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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