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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Tuesday, Aug. 30, 2005 - 2:43 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Squeezing Tomatoes and other fun things

Fuckity fuckity where do the days go??

Again I feel like I have done very little... and it is bedtime!
The tomato mush isn't even cooked yet!
I am making these tomato tart thingies... egads it is a lot of work peeling, squeezing and chopping tomatoes! To think I lived til 42 with just chopping tomatoes into hunks and throwing them into things! I needed to use up the pile of tomatoes on the kitchen table that were threatening overripeness, and the neighbors who had their newborn last week expressed interest in food as a gift, AND like tomatoes.

They are sort of like quiches. You cook up a whole slew of onions and tomatoes in butter, mix together eggs and whipping cream (yup, low cal) and bake in pie pastry. mmmm.

So, I think I'll have to bake them while I sleep unless I want to be up late again.
I really am trying to keep getting up before noon.

And I guess I have been both stressed, AND getting enough sleep. Since for two nights in the row I have had sort of disturbing dreams. I should have written about them earlier though as they are fading.

Now Diva M*idori is coming to town this weekend (I plan to go to like 5 different workshops), and I dreamt that I was doing some sort of scene with her. It was sort of like being the demo bottom in a workshop, and sort of like being in a Stations of the Cross at a golf course or something. I was supposed to be fitting into a small rectangular wooden box with a round hole at the top for my head. But to my chagrin it was filled with sand. I was all, sorry, dang, don't know how that happened! And then had to dig out all the sand. Just when it was empty and I tried to fit in, the sides of the box bust out. And then I was all "sorry ma'am, gotta fix it" and she sent me down to the beach, next hole in the golfcourse whatever to get more wood and fix it. And then I woke up with a feeling of never getting it right and time running out.

That was the night before last.

Last night (or rather this morning since it is always when I am near the end of my sleep that I have long complicated lucid dreams) I had this dream where this woman was after me. Actually I think it may have been more than one. They were trying to kill me and I was trying to kill them back. Right now the only distinct memory I have is of pushing my thumbs into their eyes until they squooshed and popped, so they couldn't see me and I had a chance of getting away. It was a very explicitly violent dream with lots of running away, worry and them keeping coming on and on and on. Not really a nightmare per se. But I just thought "dang, I must feel stressed" when I woke up with that fresh in my mind. glll.

Let's hope tonight is better.
Though no clue why it would be.

I didn't get any drawings done for South Korea. I have yet to do two new pages of comics for the back to school edition of an lgbt children's website. I didn't get my bio written in french for a publisher. And on and on.

I DID finish the sketches for the kid's early reader novel I hadn't finished last night upon retiring. And an idea for the cover. Got them all reduced in size at the copycenter and mailed snailmail. Did a page of comics. Shopped for a whandangle bunch of food... I got 10kg white flour, 5 lbs of beets, 5 lbs of carrots, 10 lbs of onions, 3 halfpints of whipping cream, a pound of butter, some green peppers, a liter of canola oil, and a pound of crisco all for under $26 Cdn. Incredible. Filled my little wooden wagon. For $25 something. dang. That was a cool feeling.

Ate, answered some emails, walked the dog and have been working on this tomato tart. Dang.

Fuckity fuckity.



*** good article on the science of intelligent design by the always wonderful Daniel C. Dennett***

***Boggling list of the Ten Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Century (am I surprised that the only woman on the jury was Phyllis Schlaffly?)***

***Cool site about helping preemies. Yup it is all christianized and all, but still, helping newborns and preemies is cool. If you have a local hospital with a neonatal intensive care ward, you can still help out by knitting tiny hats and mittens etc.***

***The same site has baby dolls for sale, weirdly every last newborn and toddler is white. Every last one. hmmmm***

***Just in case you were wondering if every aborted fetus is a perfect god's child.***

*** and you should listen to my dear friend Nedra's music (and buy it!). It is perfect for dancing, a quiet evening, or getting horizontal with someone you love. I've been listening to her new album "Nedra" for the long drive home from Musicfest and also here while working. Love it love it love it.****

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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