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Reading: June 2004 National Geographic

Listening to: Swedish accents speaking english on CBC Radio One

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Thursday, May. 20, 2004 - 11:53 p.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Linkin to Toronto and an Early Entry

OK well, you may have noticed I didn't get around to making a single entry yesterday. The end of the day zipped up on me like that. So I am going to write now, BEFORE MIDNIGHT!!! wooooooo!, before I throw myself into other things such as the Far North book. The author wrote me an email yesterday asking that I fax her the cover sketch to take with her on a trip tomorrow.

oops. hehe. No cover sketch. Mostly since I want to run several ideas by the editor before deciding... but I haven't even worked out the ideas yet. Something to do this weekend. SInce the meeting date was put off from April 9 to May 28, it was easy to put the project on the back burner and work on other things like the Baby book, and the adult education book, which I can bill immediately. Seeing as money is going out the drain faster than it is coming in. glll.

I did send her some of the sketches that I'd already done, that I showed here. Hehe, my authors and editors should read my diary, they'd be on top of things (scary thought!!!!)

BIG NEWS!! The abominable Bear people have PAID ME!! The check came in the mail today and wasn't even postdated. If we're lucky it will go through. We (the author and I) must've finally gotten through to the editor, since I got THREE emails since she informed us of having the grants to pay us, saying when the check would be written, mailed, dated. Jeesh. She ignores us for 6 months and then becomes crazily informative. I must admit too much info is better than being ignored. yup. Anyways. halleluiah! And maybe one of these days I'll actually get to see the printed book. yay!!

Today, flamenco went fine. It is funny to not be in the show, since many of the dances are being practiced FOR the show. Well, I will do Carmen. I wonder if I actually get to wear something other than our standard black pants. I think Carmens should have flouncy slutty red dresses and huge flowers in their hair. hehe. And i need to get a non-Chinese fan methinks. yay.

Tonight it was POURING rain... my doggy is so silly. I left her outside when I went to flamenco, and expected she'd be on the dry front step when I got home, soaked myself. Nope. She was still underneath the steps (to the second floor), with water totally dripping on her, lying in a puddle of mud. hehe.

I ate dinner and then it had stopped raining so I walked her. The park was beautiful, with this totally green spring feel, warm air heavy with damp clean feel after the rain. Not quite foggy, but almost. Just wonderful. Spring rain is like no other.

Let me see. Toronto this past weekend. Someone left me a lovely note congratulating me on having spent only $45 on the trip. NOPE I spent only $45 in the Beguiling bookstore, a smashing place where I usually lay down $200-400 (since I only go once a year, and I used to have more disposable income... besides it is "reference material"). Actually I spent $45 there, $5 to pay for one of the two videos, $8 on mozarella cheese for the pasta my friends cooked on Sunday night, and another $40 or so at the Book Fair, as well as $10 on subway tickets and $12 on a taxi at midnight to the bus depot on Sunday evening. So add that to the price of the bus ticket to and from Montreal... it wasn't an expensive trip as far as trips go, but don't go painting me with this miserly saint paintbrush just yet. I even spent about $5 on coffee and a couple homemade cookies at the Book Fair just to round it out! oooo!!!

Anyways, at the Beguiling, I shelled out for Unlikely, the graphic novel of Jeffrey Brown's tale of losing his virginity (thus "unlikely"), which I devoured. It is excellent, like his early book Clumsy which I bought in San Fran in February, when I met him. Great stuff. He draws with this scratchy, childlike line, and writes about the most mundane of human interactions, but that is what life is made of, really, when it comes down to it. All the little moments where she smiles at you in a crowded room. And is too tired after a movie to have sex. Or goes out to smoke pot on the balcony with your friends instead of staying inside with you. Yup. He is an excellent writer, and you just nod your head and go "yup, life's like that".

I also bought all four comic books of How Loathesome by Ted Naifeh and Tristan Crane. Again, throwbacks to San Fran. Tristan was on the queer cartoonists panel (he writes) at APE. I read the first book over dinner with Larry-Bob of Holy Titclamps the Sunday I was in San Fran... Larry-Bob's copy. The series is new, and has won numerous awards and mentions. It mostly stars people on the fringe... druggies, punks and trannies. Excellent clear and concise writing. (though I haven't read them all yet... that is just from the first I remember reading)

Also I got Volumes Three And Four of The Collected Works of Tony Millionaire's Sock Monkey since I couldn't remember which other of the volumes I had. The stories are wacky and intelligent, and star a sock monkey and a stuffed crow with buttons for eyes. They are sort of an adult version of a victorian children's book, with the beautifully drawn, realistic black and white penwork one would expect from such. Good stuff. Click on "Sock Monkey" on his webpage, to see samples of original art pages. yummy. Maybe I should start selling my originals. I might be less broke with more space in my house.

At the Book Fair proper, I met the Conundrum Press people I mentioned, as well as getting the Western Suit zine I mentioned in the previous Toronto entry. But I also met this wonderful artist, Melanie Davis, aka Valkyria. I am sorry to say she hasn't an online site I could see, but I have written her asking for permission to scan in some of her drawings and jewelry. She does gorgeous linework, all sinuey and pre-Raphaelite in feel, with tons of detail. I bought her zine Hair Fetish, which details how she used to fall for unlikely people with gorgeous hair, until she figured out SHE herself can have such hair... and she does! Long curly locks to die for. hehe. The story is engaging and beautifully drawn, and is topped off with a tiny braid of long long real human hair! Just up my alley! Very cool. I recommend you write Melanie an email and order one if you are into beautiful b&w linework and hair!

I also sat next to Mike Gagnon of Smash! Comics, and his girlfriend. He's starting a distro service as well as publishing small press so he's a busy man. One funky item he was selling was a fake cigarette package with tiny (4 pages plus cover that looked like a row of cigs) little zines inside... 20 of them, each with a little gem of an observation or story about smoking. Laugh out loud and just "uhuh... i've often thought that" material. I mustn't have been the only one who thought so, cuz he sold two out of three at $20 a pop.

The final thing I bought is a book called Girls Who Bite Back: witches, mutants, slayers and freaks edited by Emily Pohl-Weary. I haven't read it yet so no review, though you can check out the website.

Saturday night my friend's boyfriend wanted us to go to this cajun music fest, but we were zonked (and I was all 'socialed out' after the fair), so we watched the movies I wrote about in my previous Toronto entry. Thanks to all of you who suggested other movies by the makers of "Best in Show". I'll check em out. I always like seeing movies in sets of same producer etc.

Sunday we had a pancake breaky at "home" and then wandered around in Kensington Market area, enjoying the sunshine, and ending up at "Uprising": a Toronto Socialist Bookstore. Yes, such a thing exists. I couldn't get into the book detailing all the evil items in the world that have animal derived products in it (who in their right mind would think that nylon bristle brushes are an earth and animal friendly alternative to bristle?? Sure it saves a couple boars (whom they might actually shave not kill) but is nonbiodegradable, is a chemical product made from coal and oil with all the evils of extraction and shipping, and the factory would pollute the hell out of the air and water of all the animals in its environs. Duh).

However I bought a cute little zine on "boys", which has little cartoon drawings of many people, small, large, breasted and not, with the label "boy" beside each. Also two copies of Monstress zine, by Una Crow. I picked up issue #2 since it had a rant about trannies and the Mich*gan Womyn's Mus*c Festival, and I picked up issue #5 since it had images from the Detroit Ruins website (aside... if you look at no other link here, you should come back and take the ruins of detroit tour on this site, they are amazing photos). The rest looks pretty good too, but I'll have to wait til I've read them.

I also got this Deception Dollar... I scanned it in huge so you can hopefully read the URLs and go visit them if you so wish, since that is the point.

Sunday nite I just ate dinner and watched an episode of Malcolm in the Middle, where the older brother learns in the army that he can be happiest by not using his brain, and only following orders without thinking, which makes a sargeant or whatever stripe he was, cry and say "a soldier like you only comes by once in a lifetime"... it was priceless and I wish I had that on tape!

Home on the overnight greyhound. zzzz

So there, that was the rest of my Toronto travels. Lots of books and lots of sitting around and relaxing and watching mindless things like AbFab, movies on dvd and tv. yay.

Well, this entry has truly taken long enough. So I shall put my horoscopes from the last couple days and sign off. Tah!!

Here is my horoscope for Wednesday, May 19:

You're free to take greater control over your life. You believe in happy endings, and that makes you a more heartfelt actor in your own story. Count yourself lucky to have this cast of friends and neighbors.

Here is my horoscope for Thursday, May 20:

The theme of friendship is a strong undercurrent to all of your current events. Someone trusts you with their greatest hope. If you have your say, this group will get virtually everything it desires.

Hmmm, believe in happy endings huh. Someone trusts me with their greatest hope. I have no clue what they're on about. I am still jaded and hopelessly independent. I still miss ob. I thought about her in Toronto, and think about her other times too. In that I don't remember the last time before her I had such a good friend, that I could just have an enjoyable time having adventures with, eating in restos and travelling. I really miss that. Oh well. I guess it is better to be alone than with someone who stood me up and hurt me. sigh. byebye night nite

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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